Venus Trapped in Mars Sports and Lifestyle Blog Dallas

31 May 2013

Top 10 Ugliest Mascots of All Time

There are some really bad decisions made in sports
Team Names : I'm looking at you Richmond Flying Squirrels Baseball Team
Uniforms : Oregon Ducks vomit highlighter uniforms
Sleeping with 47 prostitutes: Tiger Woods

But today I want to talk about the wretchedness of the 
10 Ugliest / Weirdest Mascots of all time
10. Youppi 
First ever mascot to get thrown out of a game (wait did I say worst mascots, maybe I really meant most awesome mascots). He jumped on top of the visitors duggout in the 11th inning of a Dodgers vs. Expos game back in 1989. Tommy Lasorda complained to the umpires and pour Youppi was ejected. 

9. Phillie Phanatic
What is he? It's a bird, it's a plane, it's a monster... actually I think it is a bird. And because I like to have non-biased journalism here on Venus Trapped in Mars here is what a Phillies Fan thinks of mascot #9: 
"I love the Philly Phanatic because he is always dancing, taunting the other teams with his antics and he interacts with the fans" --- Lisa Ann
"The Phanatic is hilarious and has an extensive backstory. Did you know he was from the Galapagos Islands?? He also has a mom named Phoebe who shows up sometimes AND he was on 30 Rock. He is pretty much the coolest mascot ever. And I have a Phanatic tshirt and a stuffed mascot of him. I am clearly obsessed." --- Carly
#7 Friar Dom

I'm scared.
I'm really really really scared. 
I can't unsee this guy.

7. Hip Hop the Rabbit
The monSTARS called. They want super mega Bugs back. 

6. Raymond 
Raymond is in a bit of hot water this season after he held up this sign given to him by a fan. #whoops #toosoon

5. Burnie
In 1994 Burnie selected a woman from the audience, dragged her by the feet and danced on the court with her during a time out. The woman pulled away from Burnie and fell. The woman turned out to be the wife of a Federal Judge. Enter fun fact listed above.

Time to be a good, non-biased reporter again and give a fan's point-of-view:
"I love Burnie. He makes games more fun - he's been around for a long time! He's so ugly he's cute." -- Brooke
4. Roboduck

He is kind of like a Duck Super Hero. Like Daffy Duck and Aquaman boned and Roboduck was born. I don't hate it. 

3. Sammy The Banana Slug
It looks like one of the teletubbies if you ask me. 
And don't google image search Banana Slug. Just don't.

2. The Fighting Okra
Torments its own students and athletes?
I think this Okra is a bit confused, you are supposed to torment the OTHER team. 
After all, he is just an Okra

....and the number ONE WORST / UGLIEST / WEIRDEST / DRUNKEST Mascot ever...
1. The Stanford Tree
If the Stanford Tree Falls down drunk and no one is around to hear it, does it go to jail?
I have no words. Just this GIF.
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  1. Just wow. Who comes up with these? Seriously, I think i need this job. Raymond was my favorite because I like his name.

  2. That Stanford tree and stupid duck are beyond crazy. I've had my share of them and my team isn't even in their conference.

  3. oh my god. the .gif of that tree is just making my day right now.

  4. How are 2 of my fav mascots #9 and #10 - LOL oh well... Agree with the others though... hahahah and I'm quoted -- Yeah!!

  5. RAYMOND IS AWESOME. That sign? Genius. But the other nine are terrible. Terribly hilarious.

  6. I see what you were talking about last night on Twitter! Oh that tree. Dear lord. My favorite are the Okra and the Slug. I mean, really?? What kind of mascots are those? Real intimidating people. I can't even talk about the tree! Haha.

    I do think the duck is pretty awesome. It's my least awful out of the list.

  7. Oh the stanford tree. I never have understood it. Stupidest mascot in sports for sure.
    Fun fact: I had my sister convinced for the longest time that Stanford's mascot was the bookworm.

  8. These are all bad..but okra? Who the fuq wants to go to a school who's mascot is a slimy vegetable??

  9. UGH the Phillie Phanatic totally has my heart. But really, I have a Phanatic pillow pet. Anyway, did you know he's one of the top paid mascots in pro sports? My BFF was the Hokie Bird in college and aspired to be him. Can't make this shit up.

  10. What do people think when they come up with the most stupid mascots?? lol. Hopefully I'll have time to join this linkup today. If week it's on!!

  11. And I am sure the people wearing those costumes LOVE their mascot too ha. But, the tree? really? You can't make that up...and the Banana Slug looks like a teletubbie on crack.

  12. whenever i see a mascot, i have this overwhelming urge to tackle it and punch the shit out of it. sorta like ace ventura!

  13. I kinda love Phillie the Phanataic, I won't lie!! Haha! :) BUT the Tree has always killed me... it's seriously like WHO DECIDED THIS WAS GOOD?!!!

  14. You are quickly becoming one of my most favoritest people in blog land.

  15. Friar Dom is creepy. Here's a fun story for you-- I hate mascots. They freak me out and always have, even when I was little. I told my husband this while we were at a minor league baseball game. I told him they always hated the way they never talk and just pat people on the head (seriously-- it's one of the most patronizing things ever, and I hate it). He thought I was nuts, but I was adamant about it. Skip to later while he's gone to the restroom, someone pats me on the head from behind. I think it's him being silly, but NO. It was that damn fuzzy Hickory Crawdad!! I seriously told him to go away and leave me alone. Hate mascots...

  16. Love love love the link up. I think the Clemson Tiger needs to be added to this list! He looks like he smoked a crack pipe! And the dancing Stanford tree makes me laugh. ULL used to have a dancing chicken mind you they are the Cajuns. So odd!
    And you need to Youtube the Oregon duck getting in a fight. So funny!

  17. dying. I hate that effing sloppy, as if Stanford doesn't have the cash to upgrade from 1. a tree, and 2. a shitty looking tree that was assembled by toddlers.

  18. Wow. Those are absolutely horrid and pretty terrifying.

  19. i don't know why but i love the phillie phanatic. some i didn't even know about, yes love this

  20. The Phillie Phanatic has got to me a nightmare for shy people in that stadium... the dancing, the shenanigans, to the unsuspecting shy person, the Phillie Phanatic probably closely resembles Satan. Thankfully I'm not shy and would totally rock out with the crazy beast!

  21. This post was AMAZING!! Very creative and hilarious! And now I know what the mascot of Providence College is and like you, I can never unsee that...ever. I feel smarter and more insightful for having read this post.

  22. Lol this made my day my college mascot was a tommy....after st Thomas aquinas....I still have no idea what tommy is lol

  23. This is incredible! I can't stand the Philly Phantic.

  24. Yeeeeahh that roboduck is kinda creeping me the fuck out..and that tree is awesome! he knows how to have a good time. I'd hire him at my christmas party for sure

  25. Pahahahah 5-10 look like sesame street characters. And Roboduck is the worst shit ever.

  26. I can't with most of these. Especially the Phanatic. But since I grew up as a Stanford fan, I just can't hate on the Tree posing as a Cardinal.

    I'm pretty surprised that you didn't include Stomper. Oh wait, totally not surprised because he is effing adorable.

    also, I accidentally linked up twice because I fail at life before I've had coffee

  27. Fighting Okra?! WHAT? I really wish I could sit in on these meetings where people are throwing around ideas for mascots.

  28. Officially creeped out by more than one of those.

  29. haha wow!!! some of these are really creepy!!

  30. Hahahaha this is AWESOME! Oh man...I think you're missing the Cleveland Indians mascot though...I went to a game there for the first time a few weeks ago and it looks like the product of an orgy between Wally the Green Monster, the Philly Phanatic and Barney.

    Seriously. What IS that?

    New follower your blog! I'll definitely link up next week!

  31. haha oh my gosh. i know nothing about sports and was thoroughly entertained by this. and that gif at the end made me snort-laugh in my office. thanks!
    -- jackie @ jade and oak

  32. fun fact: the Oregon Duck's name is Puddles, we cal him Puds for short.

  33. I love this! I am now terrified of Friar Dom. And I think that it's a requirement for the Stanford Tree to be drunk at all Stanford- Cal games-- seriously!

  34. Some of those are terrifying! I've never heard of the okra before!

  35. This is brilliant! Ha! Love where you went with this. The tree is beyond stupid looking and Richmond Flying Squirrels?! Why?! The kids love it but I'd rather the Indian!

  36. SO glad i was working from home today because i was dying at some of these and your comments. i don't know which one i hate most! the tree gif is truly something special…

  37. EVERYONE LOVES THE PHANATIC! That makes my heart happy.

    But really, the tree is a total shit show.

    My favorite is when Lee Corso puts on the mascot head at the end of College Gameday in the fall. I heart him.


  39. The tree gif just made me almost spit out my drink. I think Mr.Met deserves honorable mention (this is from a Yankee fan) Providence's mascot is going to give me nightmares

  40. considering i always get hammered at sporting events...any of those would terrify me!

  41. Hilarious! My husband wants me to tell you to google the Rhode Island School of Design mascot. It's amazing!

  42. Great list. I enjoyed the comic relief. The biggest surprise is that they continuously got worse, and of all schools, what was Stanford thinking? Perhaps is was a ringer for some study they were working on. Lets hope. Thanks for the post.

  43. I graduated from Delta State University in 1995. Long live the Fighting Okra! :)

  44. Loving your blog!! I cant stop laughin, luv the post:) linked up, def will be coming back every week!! :)
    come say hi and follow back if youd like -

  45. ok I'm catching up on stuff I missed while I was bacheloretting and I needed to tell you I ALMOST did this exact post but then I got tired of looking things up.

    I'm glad you did it. Also the banana slug creeps me the eff out.

  46. Haha love these! You definitely forgot one though (understandably it's a small school) but I always thought Pepperdine's willy the wave was creepy as hell.



  47. hahaahahha oh my god!! I couldn't stop laughing at #1. A friend and I had a discussion about that darn tree. hahaha but you, you just made my day with that gif hahah I love it. And that Oregon Duck..? yikes.


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