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04 May 2016

Welcome To The Swimsuit Shopping Game!


I've been searching high and low for a bathing suit to wear this Summer and I'm starting to come to the conclusion that there is nothing out there for me. I don't have big boobs, I have a big butt, I have a relatively flat stomach. I want to show off my stomach since it is my best bathing suit "asset" (for lack of a better term) but any design I find that will cover my butt, wants to also cover my stomach. 

Y'all know how much I hate wearing a bathing suit in public right? I promised myself, and honestly, I promised CB too, that I would NOT skip out on fun Summer activities just because they involve a bathing suit. He wants to hang out with me, and I'm sure it's no fun for him if I'm on the sidelines because I'm embarrassed. It is his Summer too. I get so consumed in my insecurities that I sometimes forget that... 

I searched the hashtag #ltkswim hoping to get ridiculously lucky and find a medium with a similar shape as me. I understand that I'm searching for a unicorn looking for something like that. Why? Because if you read that post I just linked, you'll know that "medium fashion bloggers" just don't exist. Even if they did, they aren't posting themselves frolicking around on the beach in their cute two piece. Mediums, like myself, would never do that. We so intensely fear posting pictures of our full bodies on social media. 

I saw an article on Elite Daily the other day, and it was pretty much verbatim my "Where Are All The Mediums?" blog post. It made me chuckle, because it is so glaringly obvious that there is a lack of representation in this market.

Like that article said, sooooo we've got Amy Schumer.... and that's about it.

So like I was saying, bathing suit shopping is pretty much the worst thing in the world for me. I thought I would spill the beans on a little secret bathing suit stash that I've stumbled on. That stash I'm referring to is Amazon's bathing suit selection.

Why I think all of the mediums are going to love it:

1. Cheap is an understatement. They are very, very affordable. I bought a suit for $13.

2. Most suits have many honest reviews. You'll know right away if you shouldn't waste your money.

3. Many of the reviews include photos of the girls wearing the suit. Most of these girls wearing these suits ARE "mediums"!

4. They have lots of trendy options.

Downside:

1. Sizing is WEIRD. The reviews will explain that though, DON'T SKIP THE REVIEWS. You'll know within minutes how much you need to size up. Yes, you'll be buying crazy sizes. I'm a 10-12 ususally, I bought a 4x in one bathing suit, I kid you not. If you're going to go this route, you can't get a mental block on a silly number written on the tag. If it looks great, who cares what silly size it is. 

2. They're coming from CHINA. They ship quick, but shipping can take a month. A MONTH. No prob, if you order now, you've got a month until swimsuit season.

I ordered a few suits already, but have not received them yet. They should be here toward the end of May, but I'm super excited about that. I am also going to BE VERY BRAVE and try them on for you when I get them. If I've found the holy grail of swimsuits, I'm not going to hoard this info for myself.

Returns are no problem though, and they're cheap enough that I would order a few at a time and return whatever you don't want.

Here are the two that I bought.

1. GWELL Women's 2PCS High Waist Push Up Padded Strappy Swimsuits Bikini
This one is now on Prime shipping!! $17.95
126 Reviews
3.4 stars
15 photos












 

2. OURS Backless One Piece Monokini Halter Pad Bikini Swimsuits Swimwear
$13.98
3.7 out of 5 Stars
39 Reviews 
5 Customer Images
















So like I said, I absolutely PROMISE to report back, and I'll try my best to be brave and post the photo. I know how hard this whole processes is, we've gotta help each other out! 

Now I need YOUR help. PLEASE LEAVE IN THE COMMENTS any and all secret MEDIUM bathing suit websites that you love!! 

Bonus points if they're inexpensive! 


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29 April 2016

Fan Friday || Notes from the 2016 NFL Draft


Last night (we live tweeted the NFL Draft with you guys) was one of the most fun nights I've had watching sports in a long time. Let it be known that I started this blog with the intention of teaching my girlfriends the rules of sports in hopes that I would have more buddies to go to the games with me. I am a firm believer that a female can teach another female about a sport far more effectively than a man can. 

Do you understand how quickly that approach to my blog changed though?? You guys already know your shit, especially in the world of football. 

When I find another sports loving female, I feel like I've hit the jackpot in female friendships. Last night while hosting the #girlsgonedraft with Ashten, I had tons of girlfriends to talk to about how awesome, ridiculous and amazing the NFL really is.

So yeah, last night was a damn good night. We've gotta do that more often. 

Speaking of the NFL draft, I want to note some of the important things from round one. Last night had to have been the most eventful draft I think I've ever personally witnessed. Let's discuss.

1. Ezekiel Elliot's Crop Top
The 5th overall pick by the Dallas Cowboys sported an interesting outfit. Thought crop tops were just for us ladies?? Think again. Love it or hate it? I love it, I think he was trying to tell Jerry that he was totes cool with the 100+ degree Dallas temps. Or maybe he had a white snake music video to film after the draft, who knows?










2. Roger Goodell Got Booed
A lot. He got booed a lot. Like, every time he walked on stage. As a point of reference, he walked on stage around 31+ times.

3. Johnny Manziel watched the draft at a bar before the Justin Beiber Concert 
Yikes. Two years ago he was a first round draft pick. Yikes.





4. Bad News Bears for Laremy Tunsil and Ole Miss
If you're an Ole Miss fan.... YOU. ARE. FUUUUUUUUUUdged. 

Let me break this down if you haven't heard all of the drama. 

1. Tunsil tweeted a video moments before the draft showing him smoking a bong while wearing a gas mask. He claimed he was hacked, but at this point, no one was buying that story. We all thought he was just a moron.


2. Tunsil is shown on camera, waiting to be drafted, and looks like he is absolutely on the verge of tears.  




3. He finally gets drafted by the Miami Dolphins. He was projected to go as the sixth pick in the draft, but fell all the way down to pick number 13, costing him potentially millions. 

Someone made these memes... oh the joys of the internet. 




4. Someone, presumably the same person, hacks his instagram. At this point we all believe, ok this guy really is getting hacked. We also wonder if his password is "12345" or "password" or "laremytunsil". 

Here is what was posted to his instagram.... 




Datssssss not good, folks. Dats not good at all. 

5. To make it even worse, Tunsil is asked in an interview if there was an exchange of money between him and his coach. 

What you should say at this point: "NO COMMENT"
What he said: "Yeah"




My emotions for this kid were all over the place. 

When I first saw the bong picture all I could think was what an idiot. 

Then when I saw him almost crying I wanted to hug him and tell him everything would be ok. 

Then when he got drafted I cheered.... out loud. 

Then when I saw the Instagrams I put my fist in my mouth and bit down. Yowza. 

Then I ended the night with a facepalm during the presser. 



------


Man oh man, what a night. I don't know what is in store for Ole Miss or Tunsil, but I'll for sure be following along. What was your favorite part of the draft last night?!? What are your thoughts on Tunsil?? 

TELL ME TELL ME! 

Tonight I'm switching from football to hockey, and transforming into a super mega die hard Dallas Stars fan since I have a ticket to the second round of the playoffs! Whoop!

FOLLOW THE FUN ON SNAP


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28 April 2016

NFL Draft Drinking Game 2016 + The Official #GirlsGoneDraft Twitter Party

Here is your official NFL Draft Drinking Game 2016! 
NFL Draft Drinking Game 2016

Whether we want to admit it or not, every blogger's dream is to have someone request a specific post idea. Perhaps it's a tutorial on how you do your perfect curls, or how you master that fabulous cat eyeliner. Perhaps you have fabulous skin and everyone will just not stop asking how you get that glow day in and day out. My favorite is when someone knows they look bomb (not hating, I love it when girls have self confidence) and they say openly, "Would anyone like to see a tutorial on how I did my makeup like this?" That makes me giggle every time I see it. 

For me, that always exciting request to provide a specific post came by way of a NFL Draft Drinking Game from my girl Stephanie. Seeing as I often open up a very blank very white screen with absolutely zero direction on where to go for a blog post, I love specific requests! 

If you haven't been around here for but so long, I used to make up sports related drinking games all the time. NFL Draft Day is one of my favorite days of the year because we are reminded that football does indeed still exist. It helps us to remember that THERE IS A LIGHT AT THE END OF THE DARK SUMMER TUNNEL AND THAT LIGHT IS FOOTBALL SEASON

The NFL Draft will always hold a soft spot in my heart ever since Ashten and I held a twitter party  using a hashtag (#girlsgonedraft) that ended up TRENDING! Cool, right? 

Last year, while it was far less official, #GirlsGoneDraft was revived for the 2015 draft and Ashten and I want to bring it back again this year. Just use hashtag #GirlsGoneDraft while watching the NFL draft at 8 ET on ESPN and follow your hosts:

 Here is your official invite: 












Now on to more important things... 
Like this NFL Draft 2016 Drinking Game







Gruden says, "This Kid Is Just a PLAYER

They show the Chicago Skyline

A player kisses his mamma 

When someone refers to a player as a "Difference Maker"

Jerry Jones is mentioned 

A trade happens

A Player Gets Drafted That Went to An SEC School

Someone Hugs Goodell

You Hear the Phrase: "Offensive Weapon



You'd do a player shown on screen
(don't forget, these kids are like 21 years old -- I'm assuming you're late 20s early 30s like me) 

Roger Goodell Gets Booed

A Player's "Ceiling" Is Mentioned

In a highlight reel, they show a player scoring a touchdown AGAINST your school
(i.e. they show Jared Goff from Cal throwing a touchdown against Texas, where you went to school)

A Player Cries After Being Selected

Player Drafted Is Wearing A Bowtie

  





A Player's Legal Trouble is Brought Up

Johnny Manziel is mentioned 

A Wide Receiver is Compared to Wes Welker

If someone in the room bitches about their team's pick, that person has to drink

Someone gets left hanging on a High Five

When Your Team First Goes On The Clock







Announcer accidentally calls them the St. Louis Rams 

Someone Proposes to their Girlfriend 

A player from your college goes round one 
(Whoo! You went to school with him! Let's Celebrate! 

Someone's Suit Splits Open 

A Punter and/or Kicker Gets Drafted

A Team's Fans BOO their Team's Pick






Ok... Grab some beer and/or wine on your way home from work and LET'S PARTY! 
See you tonight on Twitter for #GirlsGoneDraft!!!!! 



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27 April 2016

Stage Five Clinger


I look at Veenie now a little differently than I did a month ago. While yes, she is now a mutt valued at over $6,000, but that's not what I see when I look at her. I feel pure joy when I look at her smiling face. I feel downright giddy when I see her leaping through the grass in the back yard. I feel like my heart is going to jump out of my chest when she goes and plays with Gee. 

For two weeks while Veenie was required to be crated while she healed, I went home every day on my lunch break. I work 25 minutes from home so I'd get home, let her out of her cage, kiss her head for 10 minutes and head back to work. It was the best 10 minutes ever. 

My friend Larissa went through something similar with her dog, Bix. Larissa told me that Veenie would be a different dog after all this. She said that after Bix had his surgery (to remove an acorn) he was so much more affectionate and never left her side. She is convinced that Bix KNEW what she had done for him.

Veenie already clings to my side, but what changed wasn't with her, but with me. I cling to her side. I think my clinginess is a mix of both being panicked that she'll eat something she shouldn't and gratefulness that I even have that panic in the first place. When I got that call from the vet immediately after her surgery, I didn't know if I was going to get to bring her home. 

The thought of losing Veenie made me sick. I know this is crazy, but when I hung up the phone with the vet, I sat there and cried on CB's shoulder as if I'd already lost her. I know the Vet was just doing his job, but he was so negative that my mind darted to the worst case scenario. 

Every phone call I received from there on out was positive.

"She's alert and awake and seems to be in good spirits..."
"She had an excellent night with no problems..."
"She kept down each meal we've given her..."
"If she continues to do this well, we can talk about potentially sending her home..."
"Come get Veenie, she can go home..." 

According to the vet, this will be a problem for the rest of her life. She basically can't eat a single thing she shouldn't, because her GI tract was just so destroyed from that toothpick that only certain food is able get through. So basically, I'm now a stage 5 Veenie clinger. I don't ever want to let her go. I don't ever want to stop kissing her wet nose. I don't ever want to let her out of my sights. I love that dog so damn much it's crazy. 

Some people may not understand this, but Veenie is my family. She is my baby. She means everything to me. I of course understand that I will lose her one day, but that day has not come yet. Until then, I'm going to love on that little darling girl every spare second I have. 


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