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24 August 2016

Not Everyone Likes a Pizza Joke

 My mom called me out a couple of days ago for not having written anything funny lately. Maybe it is because last Friday I was at a silent auction charity event at a local brewery, and one event in particular happened that left me feeling the opposite of funny. Perhaps even borderline repulsive, if we're being honest. 

Here I am, trying to do good for the world by bidding on a few different items. They had lots of Cowboys gear, Blowouts From The DryBar (yes, please!), restaurant gift cards.... yada yada yada. I particularly had my eye on the DryBar auction because I have a wild and crazy mane and I'm highly lazy. 

I put my bid down, went and sat down and waited to see if I won. 

For lack of any kind of buildup, I did not win the Drybar gift card. 

The guy on the microphone told us all to go back, there were several auction items still available with zero bids, and we could probably get them for a steal. I popped up and headed back over to the table. Like everyone else I was eyeing each and every available prize, one by one. 

Fitness - yoga. 

Fitness - personal training.

Fitness - 30 day gym membership

Fitness, fitness, fitness. 

Every single available prize was fitness related. 

For some reason, shy quiet Sarah decided to scream to the 26 or so people standing around the table....

"Fitness? More like fitness whole pizza in my mouth!!!"

Now I understand I did not come up with this joke on my own, but I've whipped it out a few times and gotten lots-o-laughs each time I've cracked it. Well, not only did NOT ONE PERSON laugh, nor did they even smile. 

Several briskly walked -- heck, it might have even been a slight jog -- away from the table. The way you'd walk briskly away from a bum that was babbling too loudly some incoherent nonsense about things that probably happened to him back in 1964 while simultaneously wielding a gun above his head.  

All I did was make a pizza joke. A good pizza joke. Which apparently made everyone around me feel so uncomfortable that they had to Usain Bolt away from me. 

So, anyway -- MOM -- this is why I'm not feeling very funny as of late... 

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22 August 2016

NFL Fan Style x Venus Trapped in Mars

I think I type this exact sentence year after year, but.... FOOTBALL IS SO CLOSE I CAN'T EVEN STAND IT. 

Nothing makes me happier than hitting the sports bar for the Vols game on Saturday, and then morphing into the couch on Sunday for a full day of NFL. 

Days when there's NFL football in London? Well that is just like a day of euphoria. 
Wake up, brew coffee, morph to couch around 8am -- a full 4 hours earlier than usual. 

I think I might have to stop talking about it or else I'll be in trouble for the rest of the day, filled with lust for that first official kickoff to football. Friday night was almost too much for me to take, watching my BOYS in pre-season action! 

Dak Prescott looked pretty darn good, Romo's clavicle and myself are both thrilled about his performance. 

Last year, you might remember I got the coolest opportunity to partner with the Dallas Cowboys and film a video about Female Fan Gameday Rituals. Oddly enough, I still haven't gotten the go ahead to share that video. I'm thinking I might follow up today for the 400th time -- I have no doubt I'm probably annoying them!

Can you blame me though??? I am dying for you guys to see it, mostly because the pups make their cowboys debut in some pretty fresh threads.

I misjudged a little on the size of Veenie's jersey. She was a bit thicker than I realized, perhaps too much gameday queso, like her mama. I'm joking - the dogs do not get people food unless their Grandmom is in town and she sneaks it behind my back.

BUT THIS YEAR.... I have another really cool partnership with NFL Fan Style that I think you're going to dig! This entire NFL season, I'll be one of eight NFL Fan Style Bloggers participating in an NFL Fan Style Fantasy Football League! I think you'll recognize a couple familiar faces participating... like this chick and this chick

Throughout the year, all 8 of us will be sharing exclusive content centered around NFL Fan Style... and mine will of course be ALL ABOUT THEM COWBOYS, BABY -- (as I'm sure you already guessed). 

In other news, this will collectively make 4 total leagues I'm playing in. 
Genius, or idiotic? I'll select genius! One of the leagues has my 90 year old grandma in it, I'm sure she will present the most intense competition I'll see in any of the 4 leagues. 

Our draft is tomorrow, so wish me luck. I'll be spending my evening creating my Draft Toolbox.

Who do you have as your number one pick this year??

Let the games begin! 

Be sure to follow along all season long with me and the other 7 ladies using the hashtag #NFLFanStyle

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18 August 2016

The Walk-Up Experience

Sometimes collaborations come through my inbox and I literally gasp, OMG! This happened a couple of weeks ago when I was en route to Key West. I got an email from Lowe's asking if I'd like to come to the Ranger's Ballpark and chat with Elvis Andrus (our star shortstop) about his at bat walk-up experience

DO I? Yes, yes I do want to do that. 

So Elvis had his entire walk-up documented in virtual reality, so you could get a 360 degree view of what it is like to step up to the plate as Elvis Andrus. 

"What would my walk-up song be?" Good question, thank you for taking the time to ask me that. I've never thought of what my walk-up song would be in the past 9 minutesHmm...

Well,  you generally get two songs, so first at bat would be Rocky Top (obvi) and then second at bat would be Wipe Me Down by Lil Boosie. I can rap every word to that song and, correct me if I'm wrong, but, I feel like that tidbit would really play out well on a resume. 

Back to my bro, Elvis. I can refer to him as "bro" now, because we posed for a picture with each other while we were both really sweaty -- he was sweaty because he had been warming up for a game, I was sweaty because I'm a Texan transplant who spends Summer coated in a double thick layer of moisture at all times. 

Can I tell you how excited I was to get to meet and chat with Elvis? CB got to come too, and we arrived at the ballpark around 2pm. Everyone else at the event was press, I was the giddy blogger in the Ranger hat with a stupid smile plastered on my face. I stuck out like a sore thumb, and security asked me like nine times if I was in the right place, "Ma'am this entrance is for press, stadium tours take place in the North Wing of the Ballpark."

 CB and I watch the Rangers almost every night, partly because we can't agree on any other programming, partly because we are die hard fans of the current AL West leading team. In addition to Elvis, of course, I'm also the biggest Emily Jones fan ever. Emily is essentially the Rangers on air sideline reporter - for lack of a better baseball term. I asked CB, "Do you think Emily will be there??!?!" He shrugged his shoulders.

Then wouldn't you know who walks up?!?

Look at my face!! LOLZZZZ. I look as happy as Veenie on a boat. Nerd alert. I pretty much terrified Emily, running at her for a photograph, but you gotta do what you gotta do, right?

While we were waiting for Elvis to come out, we got to test out the Virtual Reality experience for ourselves. I'd never done any VR before, so it took me a second to realize I had to physcially turn my whole body, not just my head. Face palm. 

It was really neat, you seriously got to see and hear every single 360 degree aspect of what it is like to walk to the plate as Elvis Andrus!

I of course didn't miss the "at bat pose" photo opp that was made available to fans. As you can clearly see, I excelled at JV softball, you're welcome.

Just like a league of their own, base-balling in skirt. You may call me Gina Davis (or perhaps Rosie O'Donell) from here on out.

Then Elvis joined us, and he even got to experience the VR of his own walk-up for the first time. He giggled a lot and it was really cute to watch!

I did the exact opposite of what the rest of the press was doing, and I took a selfie.
(I can't imagine why security thought I was there for the ballpark tour!?!?)

Then we had the chance to ask Elvis some questions.

I asked him:

"So Elvis, for the sequel, what do you think about doing a virtual reality walk off home run, followed by a gatorade bath where you get doused with gatorade by your teammates repeatedly?"

He laughed and said that was a fantastic idea!

He thought I was totally adorable and charming, then we posed for a picture and he realized how sweaty I was and the charm wore off.

There were a lot of cameras going off at once in all different directions, can you tell? Elvis was looking at CB's camera, you'd have thought I'd be too? Ah well.

We got to stay for the game that night, and although there was a lengthy rain delay we made it through the whole thing and earned an 8-5 victory, including a Mitch Moreland firework home run!

*CB insisted on receiving photo credit for this pic... so... photo credit CB. 

Next time you head to a Rangers' game, be sure to check out the Lowe's Elvis Andrus 360 degree walk-up, located on the 3rd base side. Not in Dallas, check out his full video (sadly, sans VR) here

Thanks to Lowe's and the Rangers for such a treat! 
Let's do it again sometime???!?!?!?! 

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17 August 2016

GIANT Macbook Air + Kate Spade + More GIVEAWAY

I have teamed up with a group of lovely ladies to giveaway a RIDICULOUSLY amazing assortment of goodies! This is your chance to win a Macbook Air, Kate Spade Handbag, Notebook and Water bottle! Enter in the rafflecopter below!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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