I Went to Virginia and All I Got Was This Lousy Punch in the Face

Like I mentioned yesterday, it's Super Bowl week and I have more posts planned than I have days left until the Super Bowl on Sunday!  But those posts are going to have to wait until at least this afternoon because boy do I have a story for y'all. 

If you follow me on Instagram, you may have seen that I went with CB to visit my family in Virginia. We spent part of the trip in Virginia Beach, and the remainder in Richmond where I grew up. I was excited to have my partner in crime with me on this trip, and on Thursday night we thought it would be fun to check out the VA Beach nightlife. 

We walked into this particular bar to find a Beer Pong Tournament in progress. One thing you should know about me... beer pong is my favorite game in all the land. 

It was crystal clear to CB and me that all the teams in the tournament were besties that did this every Thursday, and we were the outsiders. Everyone was super nice though, and explained their rules up front........ their really dumb rules that DID NOT INCLUDE AN ELBOW RULE. I of course played elbow rule anyway because I'm not a dirty cheater. 

I assure you I have a punch line to this story (hah....foreshadowing)

Much to everyone's surprise, we made it to the semi-finals where we were eventually knocked out by the number 3 ranked beer pong player in the world. Because apparently, beer pong rankings are a thing. He was about 28 feet tall, and with no elbow rules, he pretty much Bozo-Super-Sunday-Show'ed us, bucket after bucket. After apologizing for what I said when I was losing to the number three beer pong player in the world, we all chatted for a while, and he actually turned out to be a real nice guy. 

Even though we were out of the tournament, games continued and some random guy needed a partner. He asked me if I'd like to play. I lit up, seeing as that meant I got to play more beer pong. CB joined me over at the table to cheer me on. I made a few cups, and then all of a sudden a girl came out of no where, grabbed a cup of water off the table, and threw it at CB. This girl was NOT playing in the tournament, and I still quite literally have no idea where she even came from, or why she was such an angry elf.  

I leave my side of the table and immediately go to defend my man. I simply shrug my shoulders and ask her, "Heyyyy what was that for?"  

Next thing I know she comes at me swinging, Jerry Springer style, clocking me right in the forehead. She continues wildly slapping in an attempt to grab my hair or hit me with a chair or whatever it is girls do in bar fights. 

Meanwhile, I have lost all basic motor functions because I am crying so hysterically. CB is able to get in the middle, while some guys manage to pry this nutcase off of me. 

My pristine bar rap sheet flashes before my eyes. Am I going to get kicked out???! Meanwhile, tears flood down my face as CB tries to calm me down. I thought if I were ever in a fight I would be a little tougher, turns out, NOPE!  

Well, I certainly did not get kicked out. It's hard to get kicked out when you can't muster up anything other than tears, let alone a retaliation. Really Sarah??? I expected more from you.

Instead, people kept coming up offering me drinks, and shots and their condolences. The other girl, of course, did get kicked out. I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume this wasn't her first bar fight. 

I woke up the next morning and felt a bruise on my forehead, right where she clocked me. I then nodded and smiled to myself, knowing I could now check bar brawl off my bucket list. Don't mess with me, people. 

Do. Not. Mess. With. Me. #SoBadass 

And here are some pictures from my trip, you know, if you're into that basic girl stuff like blogging, and iPhone cameras, and wine, and family. That is for sure not me of course, I'm only into badass things like picking bar fights on the reg. 






Before I sign off today, I've got my girl Morgan from Believe in the Sparks giving five amazing (and very pinworthy might I add) tips for staying relaxed on your wedding day. Can I add a tip #6? 

Tip number 6: don't invite me to your wedding. I'm just way too much of a loose cannon. You'll never know what I'm going to do next! Just kidding. I'm harmless. I can't promise I won't cry though. 

Be sure to check Morgan out on her blog // twitter // facebook // instagram // pinterest 

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In the days leading up to my wedding day I received many comments from strangers and family alike noting my uncharacteristic calm and relaxed demeanor. It's no secret that brides are crazy stressed in the days (or weeks or months) leading up to her big day, but I can sit here and honestly tell you that I wasn't the least bit stressed or nervous about my wedding day. 

I'm a stressed out person by nature. Daily stress constantly takes control of my life. That combined with my extreme type-A and slightly OCD personality produces the perfect formula for an uptight and stressed out bride... Except I wasn't either. I was as calm as a cucumber, and I like to think that these five reasons below had a lot to do with it.
Hire a wedding coordinator.
Hiring a wedding coordinator was the best decision I made throughout my entire planning process. He took all my worries and fears about the wedding and turned them into his priority. He gave me a timeline, an agenda, and he made things happen. Most importantly, he was there on my wedding day planning and designing and coordinating. I didn't have to do a thing on my day other than relax and prepare to take that walk down the aisle. He had everything else under control. If I can give you just one piece of advice for your wedding day, here it is: budget for a wedding coordinator. Make cuts elsewhere in the wedding so you can hire that person who will become your best friend on your day and your lifesaver during your planning process and especially on your wedding day.

Start the day early.
My ceremony was scheduled to begin at 5:00pm, but the wedding day process starting at 7:00 that morning. My girls and I eased through the hair and makeup process while leaving plenty of extra time for mimosa sipping and storytelling. We took our time arriving at the venue, and were able to put on our dresses without a moment of rush. Not one moment of my wedding day felt chaotic or rushed. I had time to sit around and soak in everything happening around me. Create an agenda for your day, and stick to it. Thankfully I had my coordinator who did this for me, but it's something a bride can easily do herself before the big day. Have a timeline, and then add thirty extra minutes to complete each activity. This will give you plenty of extra wiggle room in case there is a hiccup during the day.

Don't stress about the things that you can't control.
The unexpected will happen. You can not anticipate or prepare for every little thing on your wedding day.I arrived at the venue on my wedding day to see a haze of smoke surrounding the property. There was an apparent controlled brush fire happening about a mile from the venue, and the smoke extended for miles. My coordinator did all he could, including calling the mayor of the small town, but it was to no avail. The fire was in full force and there was nothing that could be done to stop it. My initial reaction when I saw the smokey haze was to freak out, but I knew that I couldn't control it and thus a freak out wouldn't help the situation. Thankfully all worked out in the end. The fire wrapped about a couple of hours before the ceremony, and there wasn't a trace of smoke in the air come wedding time!
Keep a mimosa in hand at all times.
I am in no way condoning brides to get drunk before she takes that walk down the aisle, but do believe me when I say that mimosas (in moderation) do wonders for the nerves! Just trust me on this one.
Turn up the music and put on a mini concert with all your best girls before the ceremony starts. 
My bridesmaids did a fabulous job keeping the music playing all day long, but about an hour before the ceremony started, my girls turned up the party music and led us all in song and dance. We belted out a little Miley Cyrus (Party in the USA to be exact) and danced around in our dresses and heels. It was the perfect way to shake out and last minute jitters before walking down the aisle. Not to mention, it was a wonderful memory I share with my girls of that very special day.


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$125 Victorias's Secret + Stubhub // Tickets and Gear Giveaway

Tomorrow begins Super Bowl Week at VTIM! If you remember, I did a full week of football and Super Bowl related posts last year, and I'm going to do the same this year! Plus this week marks the two year anniversary for Venus Trapped in Mars! Eeek! So I want to do it up right in honor of one of my favorite weeks of the year!

To get everyone in the game day mood, how about a tickets and gear giveaway?!!!?
 
Do you want $125 to spend at StubHub / Victoria's Secret from me and my friends? Winner takes all... PLUS the winner gets to decide how much of that $125 they want to spend on tickets, and how much they want to spend on new gear to wear to the big game from Victoria's Secret. But don't thank me, thank them...

 
Constantly Seeking Wonder // Route Bliss
T.O. & fro // A Labour of Life
Hey Kerri Blog // Puppies and Pretties
Just the Elevator Pitch // Life Unsweetened
Hellorigby! // Venus Trapped in Mars


a Rafflecopter giveaway


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Those Tough Dog Mom Decisions

I am mom to two of the sweetest little pups that ever lived. Well, all pups are the sweetest that ever lived, but these two just happen to be all mine. I adopted General Neyland (Nicknames Include: Gee, Gee Unit, Gee Neyland, The Sir) in February 2009, right after I graduated college. In case you were wondering, General is named after the great Robert Neyland, the most winningest football coach in The University of Tennessee history. Yeah, we all know, I'm a super fan. Gee was about a year old when I got him, and will be 7 next month. He is a mutt... a mutt that is 100% howling beagle, in my expert veterinary opinion. 
While Gee is a good ole Tennessee boy, Venus (Nicknames: Veenie, Vee, Veen, Veenie-Bo-Beenie, White Dog) is a born and mutt-bread Texas gal. About 7 months after moving to Dallas, I started volunteering for Paws in the City, a rescue organization in Dallas. When I first began volunteering, I was just doing their social media and graphic design. I really wanted to help, but also wanted to keep a safe distance from alllllllll of the sweet baby adoptable pups that needed a furever home. I didn't trust myself to volunteer at the adoption events.  

And with good reason.

Welcome Veenie-Bo-Beenie to the family. She was at the very first adoption event I ever volunteered. Go figure. But really, look at her adoption photo. Like, really? 
I'd like to meet this photographer and shake his or her hand... because how he/she ever got Veenie to sit still for this photo, and at less than a year old at the time,  is BEYOND me. Veenie is also a mutt, like Gee. They told me she was part Doxen, part Jack Russell. But like Gee, in my expert veterinary opinion, girlfriend is a 100% bonkers Jack Russell Terrier.

While Veenie is seemingly bullet proof *knocks on wood of course*, Gee has really struggled with a nagging health issue over the past few years. Two years ago, I was told by the Vets that they were quite certain that Gee had a tumor in his jaw and they gave him a handful of months to live. Gee was 5 years old at the time... FIVE. No, my dog is not dying at age 5, he just isn't. I of course had a nervous breakdown. 

Ever since my Dad passed away in 2006, I've really struggled with separation anxiety. Obviously it doesn't take a PhD to figure out why that is. Ever since CB came into my life, I don't fear goodbyes as much... hey, that is pretty cool, that just dawned on me!!... But for the longest time, I couldn't do "goodbyes" with family or friends without spending the entire day in a fit of tears. So getting the news that Gee most likely wouldn't make it... well I was a complete and utter wreck. 

Long story short, Gee had a tooth pulled and a section from his jaw biopsied and he DID NOT HAVE CANCER. Cue the tears of the most insane joy of my whole life. I hugged that sweet baby so hard that night. 

But here we are 2 years later, and after a visit to the vet yesterday, that tumor word is being tossed around yet again. Gee needs more teeth pulled, but they are worried his jaw my break in doing so. I have choices to make. 

Do I spend a small fortune, an amount that could be as much as three or four months rent, and play it safe by doing a biopsy and x-rays? This option would confirm to the vets that his jaw can hold up. It would also confirm that, god forbid, there isn't another culprit like a tumor that can't be seen by the naked eye causing this disease. 

Or do I take a chance and simply pull the teeth, which has worked two different times in the past without complications, and hope that his jaw won't crumble, and that a tumor hasn't developed in the past two years. 

The good news in the short term, is that it doesn't seem to slow him down from his very important squirrel hunting duties! He is eating and drinking and hopping and skipping and jumping and playing just fine. I know whatever decision I make, it will be the right one for Gee, for me and for our little family. 

Sometimes it helps to just get all these thoughts organized and down on paper, or on blog in this case! Just do me a favor and hug your fur babies for me tonight, will ya?
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19 Things I Think You Should Know About My Family

Guess who is here with you today??! That's right, it's a Veenie takeover day!



My mom is having a serious blogging rut lately, so she decided to take her own advice and just go through her list of Blog Post Ideas For When You're in a Rut! And wouldn't you dog gone know it (hah).... have your DOG take over is the very first thing on the list!

Mom told me I could post today about anything I wanted. I ran the first idea that came to mind by her, "Reasons why my pee smells better on that patch of grass than your dog's pee. Reason one, this is my patch of grass, bitch." Unfortunately, she stopped me right there in my tracks (hah, a little more dog humor) and ruled out that post topic even though I had about 47 more reasons to give.

So instead, I decided to spill some secrets about me and my family you might not know. I even have a few insider secrets about Mr. CB for you! Heck, Mr. CB has walked in on me on more than one occasion as I was getting out of the shower, so he might as well be family at this point right?





1. My mom eats pizza in bed. Like, really often.





2. When my mom leaves for work, I have to get locked in the bedroom because I thoroughly enjoy pooping and peeing in one very specific spot in the living room. I could get into the reasons that my poop and pee belong on that one spot in the living room, but my mom ruled that out, remember?

3. I don't believe in personal space. It's overrated.



4. Gee doesn't like to be touched while he's sleeping. Not so much as just light grazing on his fur, by a paw or fingernail. He gets angry and yells at me. I sometimes cry. I just want to make my big brother proud :(

5. Mr. Cb has two cats that he's had for 11 years. They do not like me and Gee.... at all. Well, I can honestly see why they wouldn't like Gee. I mean he tries to eat their poop AND their food. But how could you not like little ole me? I just want to be friends!

6. I know Mr. CB's real name and what he looks like.... and you don't!!! Nanny nanny boo boo!





7. My brother is obsessed with squirrels. We go to the dog park and all he does, the whole time, is bark up at the squirrels in the tree. He never even says hi to any of the other dogs. I'm for sure the social butterfly of the family, just like my mommy!

8. I either love you or hate you.... there is no in between. For example, if you're riding a bike, I hate you. What the heck do you think you are? Half man, half machine? I just don't understand, therefore, I do not approve.

9. The only thing I've ever seen Mr. CB choose over hanging with my mom on the weekend, is duck hunting. Otherwise the two of them are inseparable. Props to my momma on those weekends though, because she will usually steal Mr. CB's girl friends away that night for a girl's night out on the town! Mr. CB always ends up having a baaaaad case of FOMO. I can see it all over his face when he gets back!





10. Both Gee's birthday and my birthday is next month! He will be 7 years old and I will be 3! Do you guys think this is a good age for me to start wearing under eye cream before bed?

11. Playing fetch is my jam, but I like to make mom work for it too. I'll put the ball down just slightly out of her reach, to where she has to get up out of the chair to throw it for me. It's hilarious to see how irritated she gets!

12. Mom has never ever given us people food. But Mr. CB sneaks us some off his plate allllllll the time. Don't tell my mom ok?????

13. I've never seen mom happier. True story.

14. Mr. CB and mom turned the Seahawks vs. Packers game off with 6 minutes to go when the score was 19-7! Bahahahahahaha! They missed the greatest comeback ever! Suckers.

15. I love little kids and I'm really good with them! They are close to the ground, just like I am, so they don't scare me like those big scary men on the bicycles. I sit down and show my belly anytime a little boy or girl comes up for pets.... and get this, they always rub my belly and giggle! My mom is so proud of me for being so well behaved around kiddos. I get pets, and my mom tells me what a good girl I am... it's a win win!

16. Mom will drop money on literally anything if she thinks it will be hilarious. She is usually spot on..... exhibit A:



17. Giving face licks makes my world go round. My mom secretly looooooves my face licks, but pretends not to because Mr. CB doesn't like them for some ODD reason. I literally can't even imagine not liking them??!








18. We all snuggle together. A lot.
19. I often get so excited that I pee myself 
 
So those are just a sampling of things I think you should know about my family! I hope you learned something new today. Perhaps mom will let me return and spill even more beans in the near future! 
BYEEEEEEEEEEEE!
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