Venus Trapped in Mars Sports and Lifestyle Blog Dallas

08 August 2012

Victoria's Secret NFL Line

Every year I wait for VS to release their sports lines. Every year I get sad. I don't want an ill-fitted crop top tee that is blinged out with giant letters that says "Win Me Over." That makes no sense what so ever, for any sport.

I had hope for the NFL line this year, because some pieces from MLB line were pretty darn cute. One minor/major problem was all the good stuff sold out within a couple days. All that was left was the blinged out crop top. I'm not wearing that.

Here are a few of my favorite pieces from the NFL line that was just released. Better hurry though if you want one in your size, because it will go quick!

4. New Orleans Saints Hipster Trimmed Panty Actually LOVE all the Saint's gear

At first glance, I hated the jerseys because of the rhinestones. But once I saw them on the models (of course they make everything look better) I decided I loved the jerseys and had to have one!

Cute, right! 

So hurry over to VS, but please leave the Cowboys gear in my size, thank you kindly.

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Wow Your Man Wednesday: {T.O. to Seahawks)

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You may remember Terrell Owens, he was that loud mouth from that show on VH1, The T.O. Show. Oh and he was that loud mouth from the Philadelphia Eagles, oh and he was that loud mouth from the Cowboys, oh and he was that loud mouth from the Buffalo Bills, oh and he was that loud mouth from the Cincinnati Bengals.

Then he was the loud mouth on the Allen Wranglers in an arena football league (um, excuse me? The who what wranglers?)......... Where he was recently cut.

Cut. From an arena football team.

Just a bit of a side note, T.O. is was actually an incredible football player. He was a 6 time pro bowl selection, which is like the all-star game in baseball. Plus, he still is in the all-time top five for many receiving records. Basically, the kid was good. Oh how the mighty mouthed have fallen.

No one wants to deal with the bull crap that comes out of his mouth. Scratch that, the Seattle Seahawks apparently do? Wait, AND they want to pay him *ONE MILLION DOLLARS* (dr. evil voice)

T.O. keeps getting cut from odd jobs and has not played in an NFL game since 2010.

So here we go to the part where you can wow your man...

I found some awesome analysis of the situation on twitter. Feel free to use any of the following jokes, out of the blue, on your man. His jaw will drop.

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06 August 2012

I Missed My {blog} BIRTHDAY

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VENUS TRAPPED TURNED TWO and I missed it. How does this happen? In real life, not imaginary blog life, you would never miss your birthday. Perhaps you may repeat celebrating your 21st birthday for the 5th time but you would never forget the  date.

July 31st was my blog's birthday. I'm so so so so so sorry, blog. I love you. Forgive me? Just incase, I'll take a note from Kobe. Here is a diamond for you to show my sincerity.

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Happy Birthday :)

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18 July 2012

Wow Your Man Wednesday: Josh Hamilton

Every Wednesday, from now until the end of time, (if you're lucky the Myans will have been right and you will only have to live through 23 more of these... otherwise you got me forever) will be WOW YOUR MAN WEDNESDAY! TA DAAAAA!

Pause for crazy excitement.

Ok. Calm down.

On "Wow your man Wednesday" I'll bring you a fun fact, a favorite player that is making a big impact on his/her sport, or just some sports tip that if you spit out to your man he'll say, "WOW!" So, that's how this works.

My Wow Wednesday this week is.... Josh Hamilton, Power Hitter for the Texas Rangers! Pretty hot Ginger, huh? Told ya you'd like sports...

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I chose Josh because in the sports world this week there have been a lot of idiots getting arrested...
  • Marshawn Lynch, football player- DUI <you're rich you idiot, get a darn driver>
  •  Dez Bryant, football player- domestic violence--> to his MOM, and to think I was going to draft him in fantasy this year...
  • Jason Kidd, basketball player- DUI <again, see notes on Marshawn>
Josh Hamilton was the number one draft pick in 1999 and was slated to be the phenom of all phenoms. He had more God given talent in his little finger than the entire Houston Astros offense has in all of their bodies combined (bazing). 

But what did he do? I dunno let's ask Marshawn...

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No comment from Marshawn's peeps? Ok, moving on...

Josh got lost in a haze of alcohol and drug abuse and plummeted from the top of the crop to the bottom of the barrel in record time (probably not the record he was hoping to set). He used to do enough cocaine to kill any normal human... luckily his body seemed to be super human and he survived where many would have expired.

Long story short- he did drugs for many years, got thousands of dollars from his parents- spent it on drugs, got married, had a kid and was supposed to buy his wife a house--- bought crack instead, lost everything. Did more crack.

Longer story short- 7 years later... found God, found faith, lost 50 pounds (Jessica Simpson found that for him), found sobriety, got back into the swing of things... pun intended... Texas Rangers take a chance on a man that everyone had all but given up on... 

Today Josh is living clean and sober and is a definition of a fan favorite for the defending AL champs the Texas Rangers. He also speaks to groups about his ordeal with drugs and alcohol, and stays at these events until he has answered every question from the audience (swoon).

Here are his incredibly inspiring stats this season:
  • First in the American League in Home Runs (28)
  • First in the American League in RBI (Runs batted in) (78)
  • Second in the AL in SLG (slugging percentage) (.620)
  • 3rd in the AL in OPS (this is a combination average of on base percentage and slugging percentage) (.991)
2012 Salary : $15,250,000 <---- crap

So Marshawn, get clean and give Jessica Simpson your excess weight and you too can get your career back in order, like Josh. 

Ok Venus lovers, now go WOW your man with your Josh Hamilton factoids. 


03 July 2012

"Tales of a Fashion Icon" by Lebron James

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Lebron James really is a James of all Trades. NBA baller and now fashion ICON. Move over Karl Lagerfeld, there is a new Fashion King in town... King James.

Lebron on his (and the rest of the NBA's) fake eye candy...

"You know, it’s a look, it’s a fashion thing. But he (Russell Westbrook- aka his fashion frenemy) absolutely didn’t start it, I don’t know who started it, honestly,” he said. “I think I’ve been wearing mine for about two years now, but I don’t know who started it. None of us started it. It could have started back in the 
’70s or ’80s. I’m serious. I mean, fashion comes and goes.” --- Lebron via press conference.

There you have it, folks. Fashion lives in Miami. Let's take a look at some of his best red carpet  press conference looks.

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Now you have all the information from the so called innovator of the fake glasses "style" trend. 

So, who wore it best? I pick Mr. Urkel. 

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13 June 2012


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Why is it when I am watching a sporting event, I feel like my actions will directly impact the outcome of the game. Why would little ole me... 473 miles away from a game I'm watching on television, have any impact whatsoever on the winner or loser simply by switching t-shirts at halftime.

I'm sure you have heard the superstitious routines many professional athletes perform before games or while in a slump. For example, Jason Giambi, a FORMER power hitter, used to put on a golden thong before the game to relieve a slump. Yes, a 6 foot 3, 240 pound man with gold string shoved up his butt... no wonder he slumped (hah).

Now, I understand an athlete having a superstition that he believes will directly change his performance. But why would something I say or do a bajillion miles away have any effect on a team I am rooting for? I change out of a generic t-shirt into the jersey of my favorite team at halftime---BOOM quarterback gets sacked hard, breaks his collarbone, fumbles and the defense runs it in for a quick score. OR I send a text that says, "the boys are looking good" with a minute and a half left in the game and what happens... the other team makes one of the fastest, most well executed comebacks of all time.

I guess moral of the story is I need to sit in a corner and shut up while games are on.

I must be the most powerful fan of all time.

Or else just severely jinxed. I'm sorry to all those who support the same teams I do. I will try and not move one inch during the next game on television.