Venus Trapped in Mars

03 May 2013

Signs You are Being Catfished.

Yesterday we blogged about the weirdest nonsense that led people to our blogs. Without a doubt, Helene and I knew the winner. Yes you all were exceptionally creepy google attractors but one stood above the rest. 

Kaitlyn from Put a Bow On It
We Hope you "Feel Better Soon Whore"

Gosh I love creepy, yet seamless transitions...
Let's talk about some signs that you are being Catfished!
I would know because I used to catfish people.
Hah- Hah. Just kidding.
I'm not kidding.

Tami and I briefly tweeted this yesterday and it really made me think about the topic.
 I searched high and low on blog land (googled it once) to see if anyone had done this post and I couldn't find it. So here goes. 

You found "love" on Facebook.
Mafia Wars does not foster love.


You vs. Them
Personality Shhmershmonality. 10s don't date 1s. 
I'm not being judgmental. I'm being honest. Do you see Ryan Gossling in any of my Instagram Pictures??? No. Cold hard facts, people. 



Your name is Manti Te'o
Is your name Manti Te'o. Oh it is? Cool. You're being catfished. 
(And not being drafted round 1 cause you are an idiot)


They are a swimsuit model. 
Models don't meet people on eHarmony.
Models meet people on the football field at Notre Dame out. In public. Like normal humans that don't have hair in weird places or wear full face mouth guards at age 37. Oh, and there is no such thing as swimsuit models.  They are imaginary fairy princesses you will never meet in person. 

They do not have a webcam
You mean to tell me you don't have: a lap top, an iphone, an ipad, an andriod, some varietys of flip phone, a desk top, a web cam attachment, a motorola of some sort... None of those?
Middle to Lower Class Six year olds have webcams.

They tell you they are a cowboy space astronaut millionare big shot.


If the catfish guys are knocking at your door,
you are probably being catfished.

Because you went to MTV.COM and fill out the "Am I being Catfished" application online. You campaigned on Twitter to have people vote for you to be on MTV's Catfish. You were picked in a group of people in an MTV vote to see who is being catfished the worst. Then you had a few emails back and forth with the producer You got a bit giddy when you heard that the Catfish guys were coming to Podunk, Iowa to see you. The Catfish Guys are knocking at your door.


Who knows, I could actually be Catfishing you readers right now!
My name may not really be Venus.
****MIND BLOWN****

And because we all know how much I love a good transition again,
I'm linking up with Whitney for #backthatazzupfriday

If you get a Dick in a Box. You are being Castratorfished. Hah *pats self on back*
But really, I enjoy this song.




Venus Trapped

23 comments :

  1. There's a good chance I might play this one on repeat all. day. long.
    And that's no castratorfish.

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  2. Hahaha this rocks.
    And - this song. I love it. one of my friends got asked to Prom with a dick in a box. She said yes... obviously.

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  3. Ha! I've never heard of this but it is hilarious!
    -Jamie
    ChatterBlossom

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  4. I want to catfish people, it sounds fun...let's start a club? Also I want to add a category to your blog awards for: Best Line in a Blog Post and nominate you for this gem, "Middle to Lower Class Six year olds have webcams"

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  5. Yay, Dick in a Box! Just what I wanted!

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  6. I sing a lot to the tune of Dick in a Box...like when I put my dog in a box (for my entertainment not hers), when I get a birchbox, ...maybe it will help me get through packing boxes for my move next week.
    They Call Me Gypsy Queen

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  7. I'm pretty certain I've catfished people on AIM. It was the early 2000s. What can I say?

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  8. Dick in a Box is my favorite holiday song of all time. However, my family doesn't appreciate it when I play it at deafening levels on Christmas Eve.

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  9. I love everything that those boys do, but especially dick in a box. I did not love all the jack asses that dressed up as that for Halloween and used super creepy pick up lines.

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  10. We all know Manti Te'o's catfish gf didn't even pretend to be a swimsuit model, he was that catfished.

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  11. Such a great song but the video makes it SO much better. I love JT.

    Jill
    Classy with a Kick

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  12. hell yeah dick in a box! that's the only credibility for jt that my hubby and FIL can come up with hahaha have you seen that meme with the evil queen that says "who put a dick in this box?" bahahahahaha priceless

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  13. You ARE catfishing us! I know it. I knew it! This is one of those posts designed to throw us all off... this is getting to be too much.

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  14. Castratorfish = awesome. A friend of ours did Dick in a Box as his Halloween costume several years ago. I freakin' love that video.

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  15. The Lonely Island is FANTASTIC. love them.

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  16. hilarious. you are my hero. even if you turn out to be a 60 year old man.

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  17. Your name is actually Billy. You wear jorts and love the Gators.

    Am I right or am I right???

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  18. since you love dicks in boxes watch your twitter please.
    also i literally couldn't comprehend "catfish" the entire time it was on tv. like please explain it to me thirty times but i just didn't get it. i also could have been drunk.

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  19. Hahahaha amazing post.

    Also, I love that dick in a box is your #backthatazzup song. Classic.

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