Venus Trapped in Mars

18 April 2013

What Your Workout Clothes Say About You

Going to group fitness classes really allows you to see many different kinds of people from all different walks of life. Last night during Turbo Kick, and even the night before during Zumba, I got to thinking about workout outfits. I think they really say a lot about a person.

(That intro was just a ploy to impress you and make you aware I went to the gym two days in a row)

Head to toe Lululemon says:

I drove past Target, TJ Maxx, Dicks Sporting Goods, Nike Outlet Store, Under Armour Outlet Store, Reebok Outlet Store, Adidas Outlet Store, New Balance, then walked into the mall and walked right past Footlocker, Lady Footlocker, Champs, Famous Footwear, Sports Authority and Finish Line to buy these clothes. 

I will only shop at J.Crew

I light multiple candles every single night when I get home

Everything in my apartment is white

I had a salad for lunch

I do anything Pinterest tells me to do

My dog is white, fluffy and most importantly, hypoallergenic 

All Neon Everything Says:

I have to wear this or I won't go to the gym

If I skip the gym, at least I will still look good in these clothes at happy hour

I have a spray tan membership

I never go to the gym alone

I had to remove the tags from everything on my body for this workout today

I wish it was Summer all year round

I use an enormous amount of emojis 

I checked in on foursquare, facebook and twitter

Working Out With Your Hair Down says:

I am a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader

I'm doing yoga today

I'm insane

I like the feeling of wet noodles slathered all over my shoulders

I used a sunshine sticker in my planner today

I ordered a White Zin at dinner last night

Is this tuna I'm eating or is this chicken?

What Shorts and a Tshirt Says:

I played high school soccer

I come here a lot 

I am who you are dying to be in your after picture

I have had these shorts since freshman year of high school

Six races ago, I got this shirt free from a 10k 

You shouldn't get on the treadmill next to me, I'll embarrass you

I wear headphones while riding in my car

I don't do Zumba

You will see this run on instagram via Nike App. You will tell me great job, but really want to kill me

I take 1-2 selfies a day showing off my abs

Wearing Toning Shoes Says:

You can find me walking on the treadmill for 20 minutes at a 2.0 pace

I have tube socks on

I purchased multiple ab rollers over the years.

I work out at Curves

I am on Atkins // Jenny Craig // Weight Watchers // Zone Diet // Nutrisystem

I had pizza and three cupcakes for lunch

I drink Diet Coke all day long

I watch Dancing with the Stars

I'm 5 foot 3

Wearing Cut Up Tshirts says:

I have 16 DIY Dipped Glitter Projects in limbo

I have no idea what to do with the 467 Sorority Shirts from college

I'm not going anywhere near the gym, I made this to sleep in

I asked for gift certificates to the container store for Christmas

I pin a lot of Grumpy Cat

I follow 988 blogs on Bloglovin

I have a monogram on my iphone case

I am a newlywed 

I just poured a glass of wine

I have every season of the Bachelor recorded on my DVR and refuse to delete it. 

Wearing Class Themed Workout Gear Says:

I went to the teacher's office hours in college

I am a hoarder

You will get behind me thinking I'm an expert at this class, but I'm actually worse than you are

I go the opposite direction of everyone else during Zumba

I give high fives to my neighbors

When I say "Are You Ready to Sweat?" and you don't say "YES!!!" loud enough,
 I make you say it again, only this time like you mean it.

I'm Facebook friends with the instructor

I practice the dances in the mirror right before class starts

Wearing Workout Accessories Says:

I will be leaving this class halfway through

I came in late

I am wearing only a sports bra and bike shorts

I am pale

I did not shave my armpits

My calfs look like upside down bowling pins

I carried in a oversized adidas duffle bag, even though I came fully dressed in gym attire

I am the naked lady walking around in the locker room

I change into Birkenstocks when I leave

I am a women's rights activist. 

SO... which one are you?

Which one do you think I AM???

Follow me on twitter if you want to find out!
Venus Trapped


  1. I'm the lululemon/neon/tshirt&shorts person all at once haha

  2. hahah i LOVE this post! i'm the tshirt/shorts one but instead of tshirt, i wear a ratty tank-top...and i *do* take selfies showing my i'm embarrassed that you know my secrets! LOL

  3. hahaha oh i adore this. i think I am the neon one but I am not an emoji user. or at least I don't think so. I think you are neon too. just because I like to think we are very similar.

  4. Considering I just started going to the gym on the regs... this seriously made me laugh. I'd like to contribute a new one: if you're a dude wearing a muscle tee, gloves, and carrying some kind of protein drink. You are a douche bag and don't talk to me ever. I feel like I'm probably closest to neon though.. minus going to the gym alone and spray tanning! I feel like you're neon too!

  5. I'm a combo between all neon everything and t-shirt and shorts. I'm not a major emoji user, but my gym membership comes with unlimited tanning, haha.

    I believe you're more of a t-shirt and shorts type of gal.

  6. wet noodles at the gym are the worst. but lezbehonest they probs are working hard enough to get their hair to the wet noodle stage.

  7. You cracked me up with this one! I *love* it! I am definitely "all neon everything." I don't necessarily wear the neon colors, but I do have to admit to more than half of the bullets you put under that category. Tan? check. Emojis? check. Social media addict? check. I love the way you can make us laugh at ourselves...This was one of your best posts EVER!

  8. absolutely hilarious! i am a t-shirt/nike leggings kind of girl.

    these are all incredibly accurate and I am so happy you've published them :)!

  9. this is great. i guess i'm a neon girl? except only the top two categories apply. what does it mean if you wear champion for target lulu-ripoffs? :)

  10. hilarious! I'm mostly t-shirt/shorts with a dash of neon. girls who don't put their hair up, quite frankly, piss me off.. it's like they're not even trying- stop giving all girls working out a bad name and put your damn hair up!

  11. 1. You were neon, duh. 2. None of these fit me, which at first made me sad... and then I realized that I don't go to the gym. Duh again. I'm going to light all the candles in my house right now though just for fun (and because it will make me feel rich.)

  12. LOL. I am the T-shirt and shorts but I am DEFINITELY not the "after picture" prototype! More like too lazy to match up an outfit for the gym. And the hair down thing kills me. Every time I want to walk over and hand them a hair tie like, "oh, I saw you forgot one". hahaha!

  13. HA HA! I am totally neon, I love neon workout clothes :D I had to laugh about the shape up sneakers because I work at Curves.. and there are quite a few ladies in there that wear those much to my dismay.

  14. Oh man. I see some trainwrecks at the gym daily. I also look like a hot mess, so I can't understand the women who are all done up and somehow look the same after 45 min on the elliptical or step machine.

  15. Definitely just a shorts/shirt girl but mostly because it's a "I have no idea what I'm doing here but I'm getting fat so I had to do something" thing.

  16. I have never worn a cut up shirt but that definitely describes me. Just pour me a glass of wine so I can sit on my arse and watch Jillian Michaels yell at some people about working out.

  17. This kills me! So true!

    I am just shorts and a T-shirt...although i'm not so sure about the "after" part.

  18. Haha! I don't own any lululemon but the description is closest to me! Except Hawkeye isn't white, but she is fluffy and most people with dog allergies aren't allergic to her.
    Also, I always. always. even when working out. wear my hair down. My mother has told me numerous times in my life that my ears are too big and stick out and comments every time I pull any of my hair back, so I just stopped doing it. Ever. Even at the gym, like a psycho.

  19. My guess is that you are so the all neon! Mostly because of the spray tan post and the obvious awesomeness of emojis. I loved this post!

  20. OMg hilarious. I will now be looking up lululemon. I think i'm a combination of those. The shorts and tshirt minus the actual endurance. Great post!

    1. You may not want to look up lululemon---- because you will fall in love with everything on their site until you see the price tags....

    2. Haha wow you're right! If I had that kind of money I could just buy a bunch of equipment and a personal trainer to come to my house. And buy a house first!

  21. haha I love this!! I love this so much. I always think the same thing about the neon girls, zumba brand girls, and hair down the f does anyone work out with hair down, I would just die.

  22. This is awesome! I am def a combo of a few of them. Mostly I wear old t-shirts because I can't seem to get rid of them! And in no way can I wear my hair down. I would go crazy!

  23. bahahahaha I love everything about this! :)

  24. this is too much.
    like really. i can't handle it.
    i'm shorts and a t-shirt. only because i really did play high school soccer not because i'd embarrass you if you were on the treadmill next time.

  25. Excuse me....but were you referring to me with the lulu lemon remark and JCrew?!?!?!?!?!?! Just saying....sounds like you based that off of me, but because we're friends that's cool! I think you are mix, because I've seen you in quite a few of the outfits mentioned....except lulu :) xoxox

  26. I love this! I totally worked out next to a girl who had her hair down yesterday, and I stared at her the entire time. I couldn't help but wonder WHY. Did she have a date after class? Was she trying to look hot for an instructor or other guy in the gym? I'll never know...

  27. THis is absolutely hysterical - you should add something about the girls who DO NOT SWEAT!

    Sparkles and Shoes

  28. I laughed so much on this one! I used to be a t-shirt and running shorts gal (because I DID have a free-t-shirt-hoarding problem), but now I'm a neon, because it literally motivates me to put it on and then work out. Because I have no business wearing neon otherwise.

  29. I'm a combination of all the above. I wish I could afford Lululemon!!

  30. lolol. laughing so hard again. :)
    xoxo Aimee

  31. I fit at least 2 of the options under each category. What does it all mean?!?! I feel like you'd be in the neon group. Not because of what it says, but neon is awesome. And the bar matters. And summer SHOULD be year-round.

  32. haha i'm kind of a cross between neon and cut up shirts!

  33. Hilarious. Lululemon right on. So accurate :(

  34. That was the funniest post I've read! The one about the people who wear class gear is my favorite I have a bunch in my Zumba class and they are the 50 year old ladies who wear Zumba gear and get to class an hour early to get front & center spot. I like to call them the mayors b/c they like to tell you if you are doing something wrong

  35. Hahaha, this is so awesome and so true. I love all of these!

  36. This post is hilarious and SO true! I included it in my series, Lots of Link Love! I'd love if you came by and checked it out, and maybe shared with your readers!


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  40. I love this - and since I partially fit pretty much all of these, I'm having a serious identity crisis. I once had a pair of Reebok toning shoes - they haunt me daily.

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  42. OMG I see you put an AXID shirt up here -- XI girl here as well.. How cooool!!!!


  43. this is so awesome and so true. I love all of these! you are so the all neon! Mostly because of the spray tan post and the obvious awesomeness of emojis. I loved this post!

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  45. HAHAHA I think I just pulled a muscle laughing so hard.

    P.S. I'm totally creeping around your old posts right now. Yep.

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  49. Hi Sarah! I'm here via Here&Now, and omg, I'm glad I am. This is hilarious and spot-on. I was very critical of myself as I read this and I'm pretty pretty sure I'm a combo which doesn't make me feel too bad. I have no idea which category you're in so I'll have to read your blog and figure it out!

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  50. This is great! I am loving your blog and your Saturday sessions! :)

  51. Hello,

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  52. this is too funny. i never understand how girls "work out" with their hair down. I wish I had cute neon work out clothes, but am one that played soccer, ran races and wears old t-shirts and soccer shorts. however I sadly have no six pack to take selfies of :)

  53. I am the KiraGrace Yoga leggings girl: High fashion but still practical and ain't trying too hard.

  54. how did you know everything in my apartment is white?

  55. I'm 1/2 lululemon and 1/2 all neon everything :) I love these posts!

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