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04 April 2013

The MASH Fairies are Coming... And Glorious It Will Be

Fate skips no one. 
Free will, gone. Woman's prerogative, no. Liquor stores closed on Sunday in the south, yes.
 Fate will for sure come to us.
Alas, fellow bloggers, we have to have it all laid out for when they get here. 

By "they" I clearly mean the MASH fairy(s)
Your MASH results are steadfast, honest, sincere and unavoidable.
The MASH fairy will come for you, are you ready?

I misspoke briefly earlier, and I want to briefly apologize and explain my indiscretion. 
We do have choices, 5 choices in 5 different categories to be exact.
Choose wisely, because once that pen stops swirling round and round and round
Your life will be forever changed.

I hear the fairies are already in zip code 75003 right now so they are nearing my apartment. 
I need to be ready when they make their great arrival. Let's get started...

Tony Romo - did you read Monday's post?? 6 years $150 mil. and he doesn't even have to go to work during playoffs, we can stay home and watch the games together.
Peyton Manning - Lifetime supply of Papa Johns pizza.
Chipper Jones - we met when I was 9 and he said he would come for me when I was older.
Jason Witten -  He has a nice butt
Andy Roddick- He also has a nice butt.

Ranger Rover - I can be a Real Housewife of Atlanta
Bentley - not entirely sure what that even is, but I hear it a lot on MTV Cribs
BMW Convertible - forgot to denote with this, no base models please. Did you hear that MASH Fairy?
Rolls Royce Phantom - again, not sure what this is. I'm sure trade-in value is reasonable
Ferrari - because I like to party.

TV Timeout Guy - the guy in the red hat. Job is to stand on the field during a tv time out. Then step off the field when t.v. time out is over. 
Basketball Wives Cast Member - may be a problem that I didn't choose a basketball player for husband. 
Sideline reporter - says things like "The team with the most points will be the victor in this game" Back to you Ted.
Hot Dog Taste Tester - test at each MLB balpark to make sure they are not poison.
Seat Filler - Designated person to sit in single seats that went unsold in front row of sporting event

General - whoops, well already have him. My teen years were crazy, meth is a crazy drug. 
Bunny - Would prefer not to have that
Cat - More specifically, grumpy kitty. Thanks.
Penguin - eh, why not?
Giraffe - To ride to work on days I'm "going green"

Zero- thanks for the offer but I'll pass.

And in the crazy, spinning wheel of destiny ----- a 6 is revealed
*ooooooohh ahhhhhh*

Ok fellow bloggers, go forth and spread the good word of the MASH fairies and
prepare for their arrival.

Tell em Venus sent ya.

Venus Trapped


  1. I've been trying to get on Basketball Wives. We could be on there together.

    1. Go forth, tell your hopes and dreams to the MASH Fairy, if you build it they will come.

  2. I think you should be on the original cast for Baseball Wives. Y'all can trash on all of A-Rod's and Jeter's GFs. It would be great.

  3. I LOVE THIS POST! and I'm totally going to steal this idea.. I miss mash games.

    1. It is not stealing, it is informing. Pay it forward.

  4. haha! i love getting my daily dose of sports from you, you're hilarious.

    i just have to do you feel about usc?! i am a tried and true trojan for life but know we are despised most everywhere! and i know kiffin is pretty much the volunteers' worst enemy!

    1. Yes I hate Kiffin. By hate I mean I would love nothing more than to spend a full 48 hours poking a fork in and out of his eye. But don't YOU guys hate him too?? I mean, they fired Monte this year but not Lane. Was surprised by that.

      I don't have any ill will toward USC. You guys actually got one of my favorite basketball players for his senior year this past season, he transferred to USC for Tenn.... Renaldo Woolridge, better known as Swiperboy. He is a rapper and did all sorts of raps about UT and I know he did USC raps too.... terrible basketball player though :)

    2. hahaha, i was partial to kiffin when he arrived but after our last few seasons i think many are beginning to question what in the world happened to our football program...i'm holding out hope for this fall and hopefully he can turn it around but i'm not holding my breath!

      absolutely amazing! i need to check out these rap videos. being on the east coast i've fallen quite out of the loop with my alma mater, maybe i'd be better if we could return to our football program circa 2006. i'm going to send these woolridge gems over to my grandmother as she can't get enough of usc basketball, probably because we are unstoppable huh?!

  5. UM, I love this! Oh so much! Ohhhhhh MASH I have forgotten about you!

    1. p.s. if you reply to the email blogger sends you, your reply will go directly into the blogger who commented's inbox ;)

  6. I'm sad you're not going to be a sideline reporter! I think the MASH fairies must be confused because that is CLEARLY your destiny. I totally want to be Erin Andrews when I grow up... but less blonde and way shorter and possibly in more comfortable clothing. And without that whole hotel incident. And I would wear flats, because I totally judge women at sporting events who aren't wearing flats.

  7. hahha love this. such a good idea.

  8. what a fantastic post idea! And I'm dying over that Chipper Jones photo. haha!

  9. When you divorce Chipper, he's mine.

  10. first, here's how weird I am. i looked up 75003 to find that was paris. second when can we meet. you put 0 for all your kid choices so we are soul mates

  11. HA, this is great. Oddly enough, I have seen a Bentley in person...apparently living in CT means all the rich people who live here MUST drive their fancy schmancy cars in the summer...

  12. This is fantastic! My favorite part is the 0 kids.

  13. Well this was my favorite past time when I was in a boring class-although my list were slightly different from yours! Love that you put 0 kids period exclamation point! Too funny and sooooo you! xo

  14. this post is incredible.
    and if you don't know what MASH is i just assume that you've been living under a rock.
    also - i don't like playing with people i know because i irrationally think it's going to become a reality and then i don't want to see my MASH husband like ever in any form.


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