Venus Trapped in Mars

01 April 2013

The 5 Things You Need to Know, Before You Go



Your final four teams:
Louisville // Michigan // Wichita State University // Syracuse
Number of people with a perfect bracket: 0 (that I was able to find on Yahoo, ESPN, CBS) 
Number of Upsets This Year: 20 total upsets so far (if my calculations are correct)


A kid's leg popped out of his face. 
Not really, but I am not going to be the one to give you details seeing as I won't watch it. 
I don't do bones popping out of skin. Just not my bag, baby.

Don't worry, I will not show you ANYTHING like that on this blog. 


Kevin Ware, just a sophomore from Louisville, went through surgery last night and Doctors said it went as well as it possibly could have gone. 

Ware managed to tell his teammates, "Don't worry about me, I'll be ok, go on and win this thing."

Good thing they won... 
And good thing Kevin Ware isn't a woman...
"I had a bone hanging out of my leg for you guys and you can't even beat measly Duke for me??"

My prayers go out to Kevin Ware. The whole nation really is behind you and your recovery. 


Baseball Season started last night, yo! The Houston Astros beat MY Texas Rangers 8-2.
Buy me some peanuts and beer and beer and more beer and let's get cracker jacked up!
That's how the song goes right?


If you are feeling a bit rusty on your baseball knowledge check out this old post and let Carrie Bradshaw explain the batting lineup to you! 


Brittney Griner lost. WAHOO! (IMO)
Who is Brittney Griner you ask?


She/He is arguably one of the best women's (?) college basketball players ever.
She can dunk.
And has a penis.
I mean testicles.
I'm not sure. 
Ever seen the movie Juwanna Mann?


Yeah, think Juwanna Mann.
Baylor was the number 1 overall seed in the Women's tournament and personally I'm happy to say.. SEE YUH! 
This leaves an open path to the National Championship for my Lady Vols. 

Side note: Not all talented female athletes are butch... Look at my girl Candace Parker. 
She can dunk. And she is gorgeous. #Boom Brittney Griner #Boom.



A player in the NFL with only ONE career playoff win in his NINE seasons in the NFL signed a 

SIX YEAR

 $150 MILLION DOLLAR CONTRACT 

with AMERICA'S TEAM, THE DALLAS COWBOYS



I bring you... Tony Romo my friends. The luckiest man in the history of the NFL.
I'm not mad. At least I don't have to change my fantasy team name now (When in Romo...)

Funniest tweet I read regarding this situation: Of course Dallas Picked Six for Tony Romo. 

That was long. I'm tired. 
No one talk to me, I hate April Fools Day.




Venus Trapped

23 comments :

  1. Wiener check, Party of Griner, please! Or so goes the common phrase in our house. That is, if we ever watched women's basketball, which I just can't do. But annnnyway, you're awesome and need to come to Charlotte ASAP. I mean, our local baseball team is pretty good....

    I'm kidding, they're not always awesome. But dollar beers on Thirsty Thursday? I think my convincing here is done.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dollar beers? That is totally worth the $83234 flight costs to get to Charlotte. See you Thursday.

      Delete
  2. yes to all of the above. My brother is a Cowboys fan- when I found out about the contract I just texted him with "really?! 6 years?". Also loved the tweet.

    As far as Baylor is concerned, all I have to say is Go UConn :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aren't you soooo glad Baylor is gone?? I mean, Women's Basketball doesn't offer many upsets so this really opens the tournament up to ANYONE! Should be fun to watch!

      Delete
  3. As a Houstonian, not only was I completely thrilled that we won last night, but I was also in complete and total shock. The 3 run homer sealed the deal. I'll bask in my winning glory for now because lesbehonest, the L'Astros won't win too many more this year :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dang it! I knew the minute I played favorites that would be the time I had a reader who liked the other team! I started this blog as anonymous, it just gets sooo hard to not play favorites, ya know!

      I watched the beginning of the game then went to bed when it was still 0-0. Then my ESPN app started going bonkers... Houston run scored, Houston home run, Houston run scored, Houston run scored..... BLAHH! JK JK, You guys kicked our butts hands down!

      Delete
  4. i'm going to talk to you.
    because romo makes me want to punch babies.

    and i'm concerned about this she-beast of which you speak. brittany? i'm going to have nightmares.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Romo sucks. Just terrible. But I just can't quit him.

      Delete
  5. I think Tony Romo is a nice guy, but in NO way deserves that kind of money...The amount of money these guys get paid is outlandish. I'm just wondering what Drew Brees is gonna do now that both Flacco and Rodgers stand to make more than he does. Brees held out so long last year so that he could be the highest payed player in the NFL. Crybaby.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Speaking of... someone tweeted this picture yesterday and I laughed SOOOO HARD. You will for sure like it if you think Flacco is overpaid!
      I tired to post it as a picture in this comment box but it wouldn't let me :(

      http://www.terezowens.com/meanwhile-at-joe-flaccos-house/

      Delete
  6. i'm excited for baseball season! that's something I kinda know about. but that contract for tony romo?! what in the world!? jeez louise.

    ReplyDelete
  7. So, I was watching the Lousiville-Duke game. I looked away for a few minutes and missed the injury. I kept seeing these looks of horror... Louisville players, Duke players, the fans... I was like what happened? I saw a dude on the ground and a stretcher. I thought someone seized on the bench. I rewound that shit. Oh man do I wish I hadn't! Worst shit I've ever seen! #scarredforlife

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You missing it was God's way of saying, "Hey You, I'm going to cut you some slack today!"

      But then DVR happened...

      Delete
  8. How about the 1 teammate that jumped up to see if he was ok. We put an over/under on how soon it would be on youtube. I've never seen anything like that. Definitely worse than the Lattimore injury earlier this year.
    We had my sister convinced for a while that Griner was a man.

    20somethingbusinesswoman.com

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    Replies
    1. I heard this morning on the radio that the coaches had to force the kids over to Ware to console him.... they said for a while Ware was all alone on the floor with the trainers... Still thankful I didn't see it go down in real time! So dang sad.

      Griner = not sad

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    2. It was so crazy to see them go from intense competitive mindset to literally crying.

      Delete
  9. I freaking LOVE baseball season. Funnel cakes and tall beers and lots of sunshine and Ron Gardenhire's hat flying off his head to show off his bright red cheeks. Love the MN Twins - even if they don't win a game all season. Plus, I'm going to WRIGLEY in 10 days!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You shut your mouth. You better take so many dang pictures and share them! Can't wait to hear about it. Who are they playing?

      Delete
    2. They play the Giants all 4 games. My husband's favorite pitching line up. He's been a fan of the freak for a few years and we're pretty pumped to see it in action.

      Delete
  10. I couldn't believe Kevin Ware. That was crazy!

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  11. Hahaha I love your fantasy team name and I am happy that the Cowboys are keeping that loser QB. Sure, he's ok to look at but he's worthless. But I'm cool with the Cowboys continuing to suck as I am both a TExans and Giants fan.

    And poor Kevin Ware - the video is just awful.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are so right, he is totally worthless. I'm not sure if this is allowed, since I'm a Cowboys fan, but I love the texans. Credit that to Arian Foster who went to my alma matter, he is just too awesome.

      Giants..... um....... If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all! Just kidding, no qualms against the gmen! :)

      Delete

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