Venus Trapped in Mars Sports and Lifestyle Blog Dallas

24 October 2014

13 Relationships That Ended On Better Terms Than When Lane Left Tennessee

Sheesh at this rate, Fan Friday is going to have to be renamed Tennessee Friday. Strange, considering one of the teams that I love is being considered one of the best teams in the NFL, yet all I want to do is talk about Tennessee, which some may consider one of the worst teams in the SEC.
Ah well, when in Rome... Agree to disagree... Tomato, tomato (that one doesn't work via type).... Yada yada yada... How bout dem Cowboys doe?

Today I want to talk about 13 relationships that ended on better terms than when Lane Kiffin peaced out of Tennessee. For those of you that don't know, Lane Kiffin left Tennessee faster than you can say Douche Nozzle (Sorry there really is no other term to use there) when he was presented with his quote unquote, dream job. He didn't pass go, he didn't collect $200. After one season, and just days before the most important day of the year in college football, National Signing Day, Kiffin was g-o-n-e gone. 

1. When Berger broke up with Carrie on a Post-It
2. That time Shells broke up with Scott on a light pole

3. When he or she left a pizza parting gift (I wouldn't even be mad, bro) 

4. When the relationship came to a close over the phrase, "Sorry, Matey"
5. I always liked Jared better anyway....

6. When Kit was kind enough to wait for her...

7. When it rains, it pours (hah, see what I did there?)
8. I'm sure she wanted to learn a new language anyway

9. Things always easier to take in when abbreviated. Totes. 

10. Dear Syd_ross, Tennessee fans are, like, way cuter)
11. Personally, I wouldn't date someone who doesn't proofread important documents anyway.

12. Good one. You're way more clever than Andy will ever be.  

13. Now you are single AND have a drawing of a giraffe... winning! 

So this Saturday, Lane will be returning to Knoxville for the first time since his horrid departure, when the Vols take on Bama. Apparently his mom is frightened for her son's safety

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  1. These are too funny! I guess maybe it's not THAT bad that I once got dumped via email. It could have been worse. Apparently.

  2. These are so funny to read but I would hate to be these people

  3. Yikes! These are all pretty terrible, but I would agree that Lane Kiffin is worse.

  4. Wow, we don't get much Tennessee sports news over here, what an idiot! :(

  5. Oh my God the James and Jared txt is the best. And the pizza box break up would not be awful. You know you're just gonna have to order one anyway!!

  6. I cannot wait to see Kiffin's return to K'town tomorrow. Should be entertaining. haha

  7. My husband and I have been exchanging Tennessee/Alabama jokes all week via text message. The rivalry is real in the Sparks household this week!

  8. that girl texting james.... WOW. that's pretty awesome. so funny. And yes, how bout them boys?

  9. I feel your pain! James Franklin did that to us, too. But these are hilarious!

  10. Ok these made me laugh and laughing is always good, unless one laughs so much they end up peeing themselves in public

  11. The James/Jared texts are the best!
    ~Elise @

  12. Anyone who makes fun of Lane Kiffin is one of my favorite people on this planet. #govols



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