Venus Trapped in Mars

27 March 2013

Why won't anyone give me free stuff?

How often do you see this?
Care of (C/O) Tory Burch, Hobo, Kate Spade... etc and so on

Here is my dear friend Rachel who blogs at Pink Peonies


Just kidding we have never met each other ever. Nor have I ever interacted or even left a comment. 
I just awkwardly drool over her outfits. And Loubis. And the number of C/O items she has.

Why won't anyone ever give ME free stuff. 
I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and dog gone it people like me. 



Why I Deserve Free Stuff:
Girls already want clothes. That is a given. I am getting trying to get girls into watching and maybe even enjoying SPORTS. This is new. If I can increase the number of girls that like going to sporting events, sporting attendance increases. 
You don't have to be able to solve Pi to figure that out.
I'm changing the world here, Obama. 



What to Send:
I am not a fashion blogger. I am not asking for clothes from you Tory. Although I won't rule that out, let's not be rash here. 
Side Note: To whom it make concern at the Victoria's Secret Pink Line:
I'l take all of this // this // this // this
You can leave out the fringe tanks, don't nobody have time for that.

Ok what was I saying?
Oh right, I'm not a fashion blogger. I'm not asking for clothes. (See exceptions above) 
I want TICKETS!!!


Sending me tickets gets you:
1. Unlimited Selfies from the front camera of my iphone
2. Two images of the jumbo tron uploaded to Instagram with hashtag of your choice
3. Six pictures of my beer (one for each beer) - Instagram upload included
4. 8 pics of me throwin a peace sign with your team's court/field in the background - insta upload extra 
5. You may buy me a hot dog
6. One Seventh Inning Stretch (where applicable) jumbotron performance
7. One Kiss cam performance. (Please provide other participant)
8. One game participant. (Preferably the layup for a million dollars game- I get several attempts)
9. Four pictures with your mascot
10. No male cheerleaders please

We good?? Message me for P.O box.

If you need me to travel to your game, that can be arranged. 
You will need to provide: airline tickets (I get the miles though), per diem ($800/day), wardrobe, any overnight accommodations (the W preferred), athlete chauffer to game encouraged.


Venus Trapped

29 comments :

  1. hahaha yes. i would like some music festival tickets. i don't understand why they won't just give them to me. come on already.

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    Replies
    1. Well, I'm sure this post will create quite the buzz in the sports owners world... So when that happens, I will use my connections and get you music festival tickets as well.

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    2. Wow! I love the blue dress.

      http://www.elegantweddinginvites.com

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  2. Genius. I hope you get some tix.

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  3. Can I get in on this? Send me some freeeeeebies!

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    1. YEAHHHH GUUURL! I'm sure this will be INSANELY EFFECTIVE. I mean, I know my p.o. box will be full by Friday at the latest.

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  4. I don't understand why this isn't happening for you. You have my support. Also, I love Fenway Park - more than anyone in the world, so you can invite me when you get the tickets. Thanks!

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    1. Yes, where do you want the tickets to be located? Behind home plate?? I'll make it happen.

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  5. If only it worked like this! Sign me up as well. I need NYG tickets, Red Sox, Rangers, Knicks, and Yanks tix me myself and the boyfriend. and I guess Dallad tickets. He'll want those.

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    Replies
    1. YOU GOT IT!!!! Your wish is my command. (not really)

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  6. Hahaha I am dying. This is cracking me up! I also drool over Pink Peonies. Can someone read my blog and send me some free concert tickets, maybe some free puppies, and I dunno free wine? I'll promote your wine all day, duh. Your diagrams are the best part. Loveeee.

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    1. YES FREE WINE!!!! Let's make this happen. I'll call Ramona and see if we can get some Ramona Pinot Gregio.... and maybe be on Real Housewives of NYC while we're at it!!

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  7. My hubs is a college baseball coach. Ill give you free tix no problem. They're a small college, so there are no tickets....so you are invited to just show up! VIP treatment.

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  8. haha if I had any connections I'd totally give you free tickets :)

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  9. STOP IT, why are you the funniest person alive?! butsrslyforealdo bring me to free gamies if your bloggity blogin strategy works out. And by games I mean just the UT football ones that are a sure win, because I can't physically or emotionally handle witnessing another loss.

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  10. ANytime you are in AZ I got you covered!! :)

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  11. I love this, can I get free clothes and tickets? Or is that too selfish? I have season tickets to MLS if you're ever in Portland. :)

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  12. if you want i'll send you random free stuff i find in my house.
    like my dog. i'll poke a hole in a box and fedex that shit-head to you.

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  13. This. Is. Fantastic. I already like sports, but I bet you can make me like them even more!

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  14. Hahahah, just laughed out loud. You deserve free Victoria's Secret swag. :) I want all the free Kate spade and Tory! Ooh and j crew!

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  15. Just tickets? Shit lady I'd take swag! Jerseys for everyone! making it rain! Sorry about the overuse of exclamation points, your blog just gets me excited...

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  16. Just tickets? Shit lady I'd take swag! Jerseys for everyone! making it rain! Sorry about the overuse of exclamation points, your blog just gets me excited...

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  17. Dying over here. I found your blog via Tammy's post today. You rock and I'm looking forward to reading more.

    www.brasshoney.blogspot.com

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  18. hahaha--why can't it all just work like this!

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  19. Love this post! I want free alcohol, free Chipotle and free massages...

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