Venus Trapped in Mars

19 December 2014

Andrew Luck is the New Tim Tebow

I do not like Tim Tebow. Yes yes yes, ok. He went to Florida and I tend to hold a grudge against anyone who went to Florida. Yes, that is correct.


I can't stand when girls, women, grandmothers all just swoon over him. When they blindly cheer for Tebow, convinced he is the best football player to ever live. When asked to name two current NFL football players, they name Tebow twice. The kid doesn't even play football! 27 years old, and not employed by a single football team. "Ohhh but he is a good Christian virgin who can't drive. What a wonderful young man. He is my favorite player in the NFL!" Ok but, he isn't in the NFL. He is not a football player. You just like him because he is a "fine young man... blah blah blah" but let's get this straight, he is not, and I repeat, not, a football player. 

So do I have your attention now, you Tebow lovers of the world?? I want you to meet Andrew Luck. Get this, he actually is an actively employed NFL football player. But wait, there's more. Not only is Andrew Luck gainfully employed by the National Football League, he is a fine young man too! *Swooooooon*

Here is why Andrew Luck is the new Tim Tebow. Aside from the obvious fact that Luck is, you know, an actual quarterback. 

#1 He doesn't smack talk with his opponents. 
He pays them compliments instead. He is notorious for congratulating and complimenting the defenseman who sacks him. Luck will say to the other team's player, "What a hit!" or "Hey, great work man!

In a game earlier in the year against New England, their pass rusher Rob Ninkovich was interviewed after the game and was totally baffled. Luck paid him a compliment after a sack, and Ninkovich said he has absolutely no idea what to say to that. So apparently he replied with, "Uh... thanks for accepting that hit?"
In a league where trash talk and getting in your opponents head's is prevalent and expected, Luck is honestly just paying genuine compliments. It is driving players nuts... they want to know why he isn't mad! 
I find this hilarious, but if you are a former Tebow abuser, you should find it, "awwwwwwww so sweet!"

#2 He still has a flip phone
He is filthy stinking rich and still uses a flip phone... what a fine young man... "awwwwwww". He said he decided to spend his money on a ping pong table rather than a new phone. Hah!

#3 He graduated with a degree in architecture
The kid is smart. Very smart. He didn't take some junk major like most athletes! Andrew Luck majored in architecture. His plan was to build stadiums, stadiums made of environmentally friendly materials. But that whole wildly successful NFL dream panned out instead!   
#4 He is still with his college sweetheart

The gymnastic team's captain he met while attending Stanford, and she is of course totes adorbs. They were both architecture majors and he would attend her gymnastic competitions, well so long as it didn't interfere with football of course!  
#5 He loves to ride his bike around Indy
With his girlfriend.... "awwwwwww"
#6 He read AND saw the movie, "The Fault In our Stars"
#7 He is heavily involved in Children's Charities
Like play 60 encouraging kids to get out and play for 60 minutes a day. "Aaaaawwwwww"
And for those of you curious as to my timing of this post (Cowboys have an incredibly huge matchup against Andrew Luck and the Colts this Sunday) I'm taking the Andrew Luck approach here and paying compliments to the opposing team. If it works for Andrew Luck, it should work for me, right? 
I absolutely love it when bloggers offer to make a drinking game for us. Today I've got my girl Tracey from Just a Trace taking over with an online dating drinking game. One of my favorite guilty pleasures is following Tinder Nightmares on Instagram, so this drinking game is right up my alley! Soooooo take it away girlfriend! 
Hi, I'm Tracey and I blog over at Just a Trace

Today, I'm taking over Sarah's blog and bringing you a drinking game that is sure to get you hammered faster than you can say, "I like long walks on the beach." As a former serial online dater (heck, I have enough bad dates to warrant a weekly online dating series on my blog), I noticed the same patterns on online dating over and over. Sometimes this made me laugh and sometimes this made me want to smack my head against the wall! So if you're going to navigate through the random world of online dating, you might as well be drunk!

// Take 1 Drink //

- You stumble across a guy with a shirtless photo

- His profile contains a mirror selfie

- He lists his employment status as "self-employed," but you later find out this actually means unemployed

- His interests include "craft beer"

- He opens his first message to you with, "I bet every guy tells you this but..."

- His profile contains a picture where he has cropped out his ex

// Take 2 Drinks //

- Your discover he works in your office

- He is one of your exes

- He is married and looking for an open relationship

- There are two or more spelling mistakes in his profile description

- His profile contains a shirtless, mirror selfie

// Get Hammered //

- He immediately asks for sex

- He invites you to partake in a weird fetish or lifestyle

- He declares that you are the one without having met you

How many drinks did you have?

Find more of Tracey here: Facebook // Twitter // Instagram // Pinterest // Bloglovin

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  1. First of all, I have to come clean and admit that I really love Tim Tebow. Yes, I realize he's not in the NFL and that his glory days finished when he graduated from college, but have you seen him, Sarah? He's gorgeous and does genuinely seem like a good guy. Now, that being said, I live in Indianapolis and I can tell you that although I really dislike the Colts, Andrew Luck seems to be the real deal. I'm not attracted to him, but the points you raise are valid. He attends a trivia night downtown, does do tons of charity work, and was recently caught reading a book about concrete. Reading a book that explains different kinds of concrete...and he loved it. He was telling his teammates about it and they could not care less.

  2. don't worry, I have the Tim Tebow grudge too! Andrew Luck is adorable.

  3. Go Cowboys!! So close to the playoffs.

  4. I'm not a fan of Tebow either. I can't get over the fact that him and his team beat Alabama in the SEC championship game (08 season) and couldn't even manage to wipe off the blood that was dripping down his face. Just, no. So I guess you could say that I also tend to hold a grudge.

  5. I'm not a Tebow fan (never have been haha), but I will say I can appreciate this post because Luck finally shaved his neck beard. If you had posted this a few months ago.... :/ lol

  6. I think Tim Tebow is cute, but a little too goody-two-shoes for me. When he was playing for the Broncos, I had family who were Broncos fans that wanted to set me up with him (They didn't know him, or know any of his people. They just thought it would be a good idea. Crazy people!). I don't follow football at all (I only watched the start of the last superbowl for Renee Fleming. Opera Nerd!), so I have no opinions on players in the slightest. Tim is cute, as is Andrew. I just like to look. :-)

  7. UGH YASSS! Just when I thought I couldn't dig you more, you go and blow up Tebow!! YES, 100x YES! I can't STAND HIM! Sweet kid, sure, but football player? NO. Attractive? Honestly, NO. Not my cup of tea, too preppy and he can't even drive ;)

    The only reason I won't call Andrew the next Tebow is because A) I like Andrew, B) I respect him as a player and C) He's a great kid.

    Not saying that Tebow isn't a great kid, are you kidding, he's like the 2nd coming to most people. He gives back, and I think if he wasn't a current sports commentator, he'd be active in his church in some form of another - which would be fitting of him. He'd be a great motivational speaker + pastor.

    Can we also state that the only reason he isn't still an NFL player, is because he was too bullheaded to be ANYTHING OTHER THAN A QB. coughSelfishcough. OK Tebow rant over, I've already wasted too much of my life complaining about others love of him ;) haha

    PS McElroy is a better sports commentator ANY DAY over Tebow... And I'm not just saying that because he played for Alabama, the kid is passionate and knows his stuff! And he's and adorable ginger so there's that too ;)

    I love Andrew though, good kid, and I honestly like that he's taken over Mr. Manning's position, in a classy way. Love or hate P. Manning, he's a good guy (in my book) I'm totally PRO MANNING UP IN HERE, even if he did go to Tennessee ;) but, that was well before I became a Tide fan 10 years ago.

    And Luck's girlfriend... adorable! So happy for these two. Keep it classy Luck - you're going to need it against them cowboys this weekend!

  8. Tim Tebow can't drive? What? This post actually kinda made me like Andrew Luck. I've always had a weird grudge against him because of the constant Andrew Luck vs. Robert Griffin III talk while they were in college (Robert and I were friends at Baylor). He does seem like a legitimately nice guy, though!

  9. I never understood the Tebow hype, but then I don't follow college football so I wasn't aware of his time at Stanford. However mad props for giving Luck some love. I've lived in Indianapolis my entire life, so I grew up with the Colts. Luck was a perfect replacement for Peyton Manning, he's super talented and such a nice guy. Go Colts!

  10. You had to know at least one of your readers majored in "Family, Youth and Community Sciences"...right...right??? (I get the point of your comments, though. #justsayin)

  11. Yayayay so proud of Andrew - he was still at Stanford my freshman year, and I only have good words to say about him :) His girlfriend's lovely, as well! His one "flaw"... couldn't do yoga to save his life, hahaha - we were in the same yoga class, and all the football players were in a corner struggling ;)

  12. I love that Andrew Luck is a huge hick; mainly just the way he talks. And my fave is when he's mic'd and gets hit and he'll say something like "whoa hell of a hit man!" And gets all excited about it, haha.

  13. I went to Florida, so I'm a Tebow fan (have to be). However, I will say my favorite player from the championship team is/was Joe Haden. I love that big eared kid! IMHO, he's the best corner in the NFL (Yeah, come at me, Richard Sherman, I said it).

    Andrew Luck is employed, he is a good QB, but he's nowhere near as attractive as Tebow, especially with that God-awful beard. If I'm having a celeb fantasy crush, I want them to be unattainably attractive. Tebow's actually turned out to be a decent announcer for the SEC Network: I really enjoy Tebow and Anthony McFarland. But, yeah, he's no NFL player.

    I do what I want.

  14. i totally get where you're coming from if he's anything like tebow. michael would still have a flip phone if it wasn't for his job. no lie.

  15. Tebow cannot drive? Ugh. I cant with him.

  16. I love this so much! Ok, I'm biased because I live in Indy and have actually met Andrew Luck. He is incredibly down to earth! I've met quite a few NFL players (due to the Indy SuperBowl) & Andrew beats them hands down. Except for Peyton Manning - no one else is quite like him!!!

  17. I'm a fellow Tebow hater too! but I love me some Andrew Luck. he's my fantasy qb, two years now and he has not let me down. I do think he needs to shave off that beard tho.

  18. I was honestly never really a fan of Tebow, but I absolutely love Andrew! Being from Indy I'm a big Colts supporter and was devastated when Peyton left. Like, I cried. Didn't think anyone would be able to replace him. And while Luck could never replace Peyton, I think he's done a pretty darn good job. And let's face it, he really is a sweetheart!

  19. Andrew Luck is the QB on two of my fantasy teams. Dang that kid is awesome. I didn't even know he read or saw The Fault in Our Stars! :-)

  20. I have a strong dislike for all Gators -- past, present & future. However, that Jesse Palmer is a pretty tasty dish.

    I'm with you though. TIM TEBOW DOESN'T PLAY FOOTBALL ANYMORE! Fine young man, yes. Football player, no.

  21. I never even liked Tim Tebow because he played football. It's all about the good morals ;) but this guy does seem to have a lot of promise. Though, I will always root for the Cowboys and they beat him this week, so :P


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