Venus Trapped in Mars

02 August 2013

Dear Tennessee Vols

Dear UT Vols (attn. Ticket Office),                                                                              August 2, 2013

My name is Sarah Webb and I am a former student of yours. Do you remember me? I am the one that made substantial contributions to local bar owners at night, while furthering my education by day. I was really a patriot for the town of Knoxville. 
I spent four four and a half years with you. I traveled six and a half hours from out-of-state and became a Knoxvillian in August 04. I loved Knoxville so much that upon graduation, I stayed and got a big girl job. In 2010, said big girl job shipped me off to Lexington, Kentucky. I cried myself to sleep each night as Kentucky fans would throw eggs at my window and call my dog names like Poop Neyland and General Buttface. 
After a year and a half of enduring UK fan riots outside my apartment, my boss finally agreed to move me back to Knoxville. That first day I stepped back on K-town soil, I could feel the victory under my feet, I could hear the joyous cheers for good ole' Rocky Top,  I could smell the fajitas from Soccer Taco, dancing past my nostrils. I cried, I was finally home. 
About a year ago, I decided to leave Knox-Vegas in exchange for the big city life in Dallas, Texas. I wanted an NFL team to root for, I wanted to attend MLB games, I wanted giant foam fingers to wear at NBA games. Knoxville just couldn't give me that. Don't you think I stopped rooting for my beloved Vols for one second though. Oh no sir. 

Everyone here wears this odd shade of burnt orange and call themselves the real UT. But not me. I travel around town with a power T the size of my entire back windshield, that sticker is dangerous and inconvenient but I do love my Vols. 
Well, you are probably wondering what I want with this letter. I'm sure you get confused when you open a letter that doesn't have a check enclosed for tuition, or season ticket money or a kind alumni donation. Well, I am a struggling student and can't afford tickets. I am here to beg for free tickets. 

I have booked a non-refundable plane ticket (cost $400) from Dallas to Knoxville and am scheduled to arrive at 7:30pm Friday, October 4th. It appears the Crowne Plaza is aware there is a small ball game that weekend between the Georgia Bulldogs and the Tennessee Volunteers and have increased their prices to $300/night!!!!!!!!! I now have no monies left for tickets. 
You see, I write this blog called Venus Trapped in Mars and on Fridays I talk about sports. My intention is to help my girlfriends better understand the wide world of men's athletics by putting it into girly terms and making it quite easy to understand. I would be honored to blog about the matchup between the Volunteers and those other guys in exchange for free tickets to the game. Not only will I blog, but I will tweet, facebook, instagram, pinterest, linked in and without a doubt foursquare for weeks leading up, during and well after the event is finished. 

When you combine my followers on all channels I have a reach 5,583 potential new Vol fans! Let's pretend each of those 5,583 births an average of 2.5 children and they all send their kids to Tennessee after reading my post... that is $558,280,000 in new tuition money that I just got for you. WHOA. And all you have to give me is two measly tickets to sit anywhere in the stadium. I'd say that is a steal of a deal. Don't you think?
If you don't mind, I'm going to ask my bloggy friends to tweet at you as often as humanly possible until you find some spare tickets, lying around. Perhaps Dooley's family's old tickets? They shouldn't need them anymore? Or maybe someone has a birthday party out-of-state that day and can't go? My dear friend Cedric Houston also told me to tell you that I could have his tickets for that day if they are still available.
Thank you in advance for your consideration and prompt response,
Sarah Webb
Vol for Life Without the Option for Parole  


Blog friends: If you wanted to copy and paste something like this... "Dear @UTCoachJones, please read this letter and send my friend, your biggest fan @iamsarahwebb, to the UT vs Ga game http://www.venustrappedinmars.com/2013/08/dear-tennessee-vols.html"


***Note: To my Kentucky and Georgia friends, I still love you all the other 363 days of the year when we aren't playing each other***
Venus Trapped in Mars

  • Write a post about anything listed here
  • Grab a button. (It's glittery, would you have expected anything less?)
  • Link up EVERY FRIDAY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE
  • Follow me so we can be friends
  • Meet new friends who also like sports and being a fan
  • Hop, hop, hop.... hop around.
  • You have to #backthatazzup with Whitney
My song this week (above) was a no-brainer and it is the greatest song in all the land.
I'm also linking up this week with Erin, Erin and Tiffany since they were hosting a football linkup this week! DUH, I'm in! 

Venus Trapped

38 comments :

  1. Best letter ever. I hope they find those tickets for you. ;)

    29 days until kick offfffffff!

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  2. It feels so wrong to send a tweet in support of a Vols fan, but I suppose your school is one of the least disgusting in the SEC. Come Sept 21 (FL v. Tenn) I will be singing a different tune, my friend ;)

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  3. I'm off to tweet for you, I got your back girl!

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  4. Aw..they made fun of that cute little doggy?

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  5. Haha- I love it!! I love that you rock so much orange.. I'll pretend its for your secret love of the Bengals ;) JK- awesome post and if it works out, I may have you drafting up a letter for me!

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  6. Normally stuff like this is ridiculous, but you're just too adorable for me to not like it! I'll be tweeting them!!!

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  7. This obviously needs to happen... and how could it not after they read this letter?! Tweet sent. Boom. Done. Even though it involves the Vols... THAT'S how you know I love you!;)

    Thanks for linking up and good luck with the tickets... obviously this game needs to happen!

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  8. Sarah! You should have stayed with me!!!! I can't wait to meet up with you this weekend and see your pretty face!!! Loooooove all the Vol love in this post! I almost went with Rocky Top today too for my song!

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  9. I'm hoping my tweeting makes up for my crappy link up topic. I'm too mad at the Eagles to talk this week and I'm certainly too scared to talk Hokie football. I know it doesn't have to be sports related but... Whatever.

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  10. Awesome post. I am so glad that you are coming to visit me in Tennessee! Lots of Jack and jello shots will be consumed. As far as "The Real UT" goes: The University of Tennessee was a COllEGE before Texas was even a STATE. BOOM.

    Can't wait to finally see you in person!

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  11. Great letter!! I don't see how they could NOT give you free tickets!
    PS - I'm headed to Knoxville as I type this!

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  12. I am going to tweet the hell out this! They need to give you tickets!!

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  13. Whaaa? I had no idea you were a fellow alumni! From one Tennessee Vol to another, I will tweet religiously for you! And when that game-day comes, I would love to meet you!

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  14. Tweet sent! Hope they find tickets for you!

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  15. While I still feel you team love is misguided (although my unc was a professor there), I appreciate you team fervor. I admire dedicated fans and as long as you NEVER root for that place up north we can still be friends :)

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  16. I'm not sure how the Vols could not give you tickets after this. Maybe as a last resort, you can walk around the tailgate lots looking for a rich guy with an extra.

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  17. Hope you get those tickets!!!

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  18. I love this post! It almost makes me want to start college over and head to Tennessee...almost :) Also I hope you get the tickets!

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  19. Love this and will definitely tweet! Our hotels are all about making a buck off poor college fans too!

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  20. Did I realize you actually lived in Lexington? Oh, I bet that was loads of fun. Blue is obviously my favorite color, but I think I could tweet that out for you. Just the one time...

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  21. I love this post! Hopefully you get some free tickets!

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  22. kentucky fans are the worst. the end.

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  23. Good luck Sarah!! I hope this works for you!! (I'll be tweeting it for ya.)

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  24. GA girl right here. I love this letter though, so funny! Maybe you can get tickets.
    GO DAWGS! ;p

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  25. I must say I do enjoy Tennessee football. I mean, I'm a Big Ten Girl, but we went to Knoxville once for a March Madness game and got just a glimpse of the checkerboard endzones - would love to see a game there! I hope you get tickets!

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  26. I loved this!! I think Tennessee absolutely has to send some love your way in the form of tickets!!

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  27. Better late than never, I linked up. Bam!

    GO CATS!

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  28. I wish I could give you my student ticket!

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  29. Haha. This is too funny! I hope Tennessee takes you up on your offer.

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  30. Done and done!

    http://chelseypatti.blogspot.com

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  31. $300/ticket for college football?! Why!?

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  32. Hahaha I have to say this is one of the best blog posts I have ever read. And I'm so excited to find a sports link-up! You can bet I'll be joining up when college football starts. :)

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  33. This is amazing and I ABSOLUTELY think they should give you tickets! And then, of course, you should blog about the game!

    xx
    Kelly
    Sparkles and Shoes

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  34. From one UT alumni to another, goodluck! I've tweeted for you!
    xoxo-Kate Styled Pretty
    katestyledpretty.com

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