Have you ever craved something so bad you will stop at nothing until it is in your mouth, dancing around, playing hopscotch with your taste buds? Well that is how I felt on Saturday afternoon. After spending the entire day packing up my apartment for the move next weekend, I was starved.
I decided to lay on the couch and search for Hibachi restaurants in Dallas that served the white sauce, also known as heaven on earth. Why no one in Dallas serves this delicious concoction with their chicken, veggies and rice, I have no idea. So I found a place with a yelp review confirming they had the Yum Yum Sauce. It was 45 miles away. After seriously considering the drive, I realized I was psychotic for thinking about driving 45 miles one way for a sauce.
I found out there is a fast food Hibachi place only about 13 miles down the road, all highway. I figured it would be way cheaper, and since it was fast food hibachi, surely they had the white sauce. So I jumped in my little car, blasted some tunes and cruised on down the road to FireXbox.
I get there and they do not have my white sauce. I immediately get on Pinterest and look for a recipe. This is how badly I'm craving the mayonnaise-based goodness, because, if you recall, I don't cook. Like, at all, ever.
So I take my $3.99 hibachi chicken to-go and head to Tom Thumb for the following ingredients:
1 Teaspoon Tomato Paste
1 Tablespoon Butter
1/2 teaspoon Garlic Powder
1/4 teaspoon Paprika
1 1/4 cups Mayonnaise
1 teaspoon Sugar
1 pinch (wtf is a pinch??) Cayenne Pepper
1/4 cup water - already had this ingredient, score!
Did anyone know Paprika is $6.99??? What the heck. I also grabbed some vino while I was there, Wine Not? My grand total for this sauce now rose to somewhere around $30. For sauce. *sigh*
As I bring my groceries to the car, I remember, "You've been packing all day you moron, your measuring cups, measuring spoons, bowls, whisk, can opener... everything is packed up.
So I stop at a Kroger on the way home and buy a can opener for the tomato paste and measuring cups. I figured I would use spoons to measure the tiny portions, a fork instead of the whisk and I remembered I had one bowl in the dishwasher.
So I threw all the crap into the bowl, whisked my heart out with the fork and it was
fantastic not bat at all. Look at me, becoming a cook after all. And like the true redneck I am, I slathered alllllll that sauce all over the rice, veggies and chicken because just a sized dollop ramekin is for pussies.
Get outta here with this post and go each your lunch in the bathroom you loser.
In a much cooler realm, thanks to Helene's tutorial on Friday my post was published to Buzzfeed's community section!! Whoo Hoo!!! Go check it out here.
Linking up this waste of space blog post with Sami, sorry Sami.