Venus Trapped in Mars

19 June 2013

Will the Real Venus Please Stand Up

Hi peeps. I'm THE REAL VENUS.
Don't let my mom fool you, she always does that ish. HER NAME IS SARAH WEBB. My name is Venus. I'm not trapped in Mars either, I'm right here in Texas. Mom is soooo full of it. She doesn't even know how to Snapchat or use a Vino2go #loser.
My mom has been keeping me a secret for three moths now. I guess she doesn't love me as much as she loves my big bother, General. He is really the breadwinner of the family. I mean, General knows how to give high five and I still can't figure it out so I really do understand why he is the favorite. Props to Gee.
I am a bit totally crazy. I am an adopted Jack Russell / dachshund mix, but I'm pretty sure my dad, the dachshund was BS because I'm crazier than you could ever imagine in your wildest dreams. I get so excited I pee myself at times, just like Vicky from Real Housewives. 

When my mom leaves to go to work, my day usually consists of tormenting my big brother, Gee Neyland. I like to jump on his head, bit his ears, yank at his tail while he is trying to sleep. I also love stealing his bed and toys when he isn't looking. Basically, I act just like every girl that moves into a boys apartment. This space is mine now, biaaaa! 
This potty training thing is for sissy dogs. I'll pee outside when my mom takes me out in the morning and at night, but I still love to pee all day, every day, everywhere in the apartment. It is fun for me. I like to think of myself as that last little piggy on your toe, just wee wee wer all the way over my home. 
My mom and I are besties. I'm so happy to be part of the family and not living in that cage they had me in at the kennel. I did not like that AT ALL. Plus they took my iphone away from me when I checked in to the kennel. Not cool, bro. Not cool. I think I'll stay with this fam for a while. They are alright.


Is she staying forever with us, Mom? Because that is NOT cool.
You said I just needed to deal until Tuesday....

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So now that you have met the real Venus, I want to introduce you to one of the many gorgeous girls on my sidebar. This one just happens to be one of my best friends, college roommate and sorority sister! 
Magen has a fashion sense that is second to none. She is what I like to call bohemian chic. She always looks like a million bucks. In honor of college football sooo close on the horizon, I asked Magen to recommend some great Gameday outfits for a Southern Football tailgate! 

Southern Football


J.Crew cowgirl top / J.Crew striped top / J.Crew midi skirt / J.Crew distressed jeans / Old Gringo tall cowboy boots / Tory Burch bag / Kate Spade / Tory Burch studded wrap bracelet / Ray-Ban ray ban sunglasses

Go follow her blog Sweet Magnolia Lifestyle
Also, I recommend following her on Pinterest and Twitter too! 

Venus Trapped

35 comments :

  1. Those dogs are killing me. THey are so cute! I like how Venus judges you for not using Vino2go...

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  2. Awww Venus is so cute!! I love the General's face in that last photo. He is not amused!

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  3. She is adorable!!!!!!!! General doesn't look pleased! haha

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  4. omg, so freaking cute. dog date asap.

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  5. Your pups are BOTH so cute! General is not happy hahahha!

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  6. PUPPIESSSSSS

    so glad we've finally been introduced!

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  7. The confusion is killing me!!!! She's staying.. not staying.. I can't take the pressure!!!

    Also? She's freaking adorable.

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  8. Haha...General looks PISSED. I am glad I am not the only one with a dog who pees in the house. Mine is SEVEN and still pulls that crap, just to be an a-hole.

    Our dog also has an iPhone, so I am glad that Venus came to live with you. I hope you gave her her phone back and got her an unlimited data package.

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  9. HAhahahaha...how cute are those doggies. These outfits are making me nostalgic for my time in TN, although I'm firmly back in Buckeye country now.

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  10. Venus is adorable. I think you should keep her (if that's your intention)...

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  11. You have 2 dogs and I have none. Boo you whore

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  12. Omg what a cute little baby!! Don't make fun of him peeing everywhere!! Be nice and go make him a sammich!!

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  13. YES YES YES to new puppy additions! she is f'ing darling (except when she's peeing all over your place).

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  14. I love Venus...you need to keep him!

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  15. Love the puppies!! I grew up with a beagle/jack russell mix and a purebred jack russell. Those dogs are crazy!! But so fun and sweet. :)

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  16. you southern football girls and your dresses and skirts. i will never understand you guys ;) also, why have you been holding out on Venus, Sarah. NOT COOL!

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  17. how were you keeping this sweet baby venus a secret for so long!?! tsk tsk. she would get along with my dogs who are super into peeing on everything too. jerks. going to check out magen's bloggy!
    -- jackie @ jade and oak

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  18. Love your dogs . It must be fun to have them around , woof .

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  19. Venus needs her own reality show... on Bravo. I want it on my DVR list...now.

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  20. SOOOO happy to meet Venus. I think her & Lola could be best friends FOREVER. I can't believe you held out on me for 3 months. I love her and you. No more twitter panic attacks, it makes me nervous.

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  21. Aghhhh puppies!!!! I love puppies. Venus is adorable! Why was she a secret ;))) I think she'd be best friends with my puppy!

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  22. This montage of photos is priceless. I think I could look at them all day.

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  23. A secret dog... I'm in love! WHat a cutie! Hope you're keeping him

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  24. Yay dog lovers! I think Venus and my Piper would get along prettttyyy well!
    K

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  25. Thanks to you, I was snorting out loud at work. Then I blushed, so I was a red, snorting machine. I don't regret a single moment of it though!

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  26. Awwww hiiiii Venus! So cute! I love them both!

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  27. Gotta love it when your dog takes over your blog... Super cute!

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  28. whoa three months?! My friend, you are a master secret keeper!

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  29. Omg hiiiiiiii! So cute!!

    Melissa
    http://wildflwrchild.blogspot.com

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  30. It's ok Venus, I pee a lot too! Bladder control is overrated

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  31. Hi Sarah! This was the most adorable post! And guess what?! We have the same last name! I've only ever met one other person with my last name. This is so cool! hahaha

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