Hi. I'm the headband formerly known as Lebron's.
I'm really good friends with Venus's headband, so Venus was kind enough to let me come over to talk to you today and plead my case.
See! There we are together hanging out! xoxo love you BHFFL
Well, I'm here to talk about the land of the misfit accessories and toys and other stuff that couldn't do stuff good. The land of toys/people/headbands that get tossed aside never to be heard from again.
AOL instant messenger
The Houston Astros
The Dixie Chicks
Stick on earings
Trix Cereal Color Changing Spoons
Worthless beanie babies
Magic Eye Posters
Well Lebron I'm here to tell you that I will NOT become just another forgotten headband. I can do stuff good. I know that people were saying that I was holding you back in the first three quarters of game 6 of the NBA finals. They said I was causing you insecurities, keeping you from being a-g-g-r-e-s-s-i-v-e. Some even said that I was screwing with your mind worse than the sorting hat screws with Hufflepuffs, making them think they are going to be placed in Slytherin.
I would never put you in Slytherin, Lebron. Never.
Slytherin would eat you alive.
We talked about this when we watched The Chamber of Secrets together last Tuesday.
Don't you remember??
In the forth quarter, when we were separated from one another, I went to the lost children's booth in section D387 and waited for you, just like we talked about. But you never came. YOU NEVER CAME FOR ME, LEBRON.
"Cuhhghh Attention Heat Fans..."
"A large off-white sweaty headband has been turned in at the lost child center in section D387"
The lady called over the loudspeaker at American Airlines arena.
"Could the owner of this headband please bring two forms of I.D. and come to section D387 to claim your belonging. The headband is beginning to cry."
While she continuously paged you, I sat crying. I have never felt more alone, or unloved. But I never stopped believing in you. I closed my eyes and imagined being on that receding hairline of yours. I imagined slowly inching backwards, higher and higher on your gigantic head, like a King's crown. You wearing me so proudly.
In that moment, I felt something. I felt a connection I had never felt with you before. I realized that we didn't have to physically be together to have an effect on one another. I knew, in my
gut threads that you were ballin. Not only were you ballin, you were ballin HARD. Ball so hard mothertruckers wanna find you. It was cray.
So here I am, sitting patiently waiting to see if you pick me up for game 7 from the lost children's booth in section D387. Think of me like your bra. Yes, it is nice to take me off at night... rejuvenating even. But we all know you can't walk around bra-less for the rest of your life because your nips will show and you will have premature sagging. That just won't look right, Lebron.
See, we work so much better as a team.
The Headband formerly known as Lebron's is not here to bring you a giveaway, but I am, and so are some other awesome bloggers!
The stars have drunkenly aligned and these AMAZING bloggers have all come together in one place, at one time to present you with the best Boozy Bloggers Giveaway there ever was.
Alyssa // Cortney // Kate // Emily // Sarah // Carly // Candice // Stephanie
There will be 3 winners.