Venus Trapped in Mars

16 April 2015

Things I Would Give a High Five to

Today is National High Five Day! Here are some people and things I would like to give a big fat juicy open wide palm, redden your hand a little bit high five to!

1. General

I'm not saying this only because he is such a good boyyyyyy, but Gee gives the best high fives on the planet. You're like, "General High Five!" and he's all... BAM! HIGH FIVE BRAH! And I'm left feeling real good about that for the next 2-7 minutes. 





2. The Pizza Hut man that can figure out how to get up to my apartment without me having to come down to the street in my pajamas. Bless him or her. Bless his or her kind soul. I realize this should frighten me that someone is able to penetrate my building's security, but it does not. It makes me happy. Happy and full of cheesey goodness without having to show Deep Ellum my flannel pajamas. High five Pizza Hut guy or girl! 

 

3. This is when CB would pipe in and protest that he is the only one that goes to the street for the pizza man. And to this I say, sir, there were many street pizza pickups before you.... BUT there is no one else I'd rather have go to the street to meet the Pizza Hut man, and bring me pizza in bed more than you. You get a high five too. High Five CB! You're my favorite even though, coincidentally, you're listed third here. 


 
Ok moving on from pizza...

4. JK NEVER MOVING ON FROM PIZZA. THIS DOG GETS A HIGH FIVE! High five dog! 


5. TRex

Orrrr, perhaps not. 

6. Andy Cohen. Thank you, you wonderful wonderful human. Thank you. I love you so much. I can never repay you for all of the hours I've spent watching Real Housewives of whatever, even though I've seen it twelve times already. You get all the high fives from me, which I hope will make up for the fact that you will get precisely zero high fives from a single heterosexual male on the planet. High five Andy!



7. Bears, and all of their puns they bless us with. High five bear...

Ohhh, ok. I can wait! I'll be here with your high five when you're finished. 

8. I'm surprised there is a cat on my list, but this cat. High five cat! 



9. Saturday. People get all "FriYAY" excited for Friday and I just don't get it. Am I the only one that works on Friday? In fact, Friday might be one of my least favorite days. Friday goes by way slower than the last half hour of commercials on a Bravo show. I'll take Saturday. High five Saturday. 

10. Jenna Marbles' and her dogs. I love Jenna Marbles. Like, love her. I think she is so cool, that when she is around others, she sucks their cool from them and gets cooler. Just like in Space Jam, only replace basketball skills with Coolness. And Muggsy Bogues can be Marbles. High fives for Jenna and Cermet and Paesh and Marbles. 

  
11. Blogging. I love blogging. I love that I can write a post this stupid and you sweet, kind-hearted friends will leave me a note saying how much you agree with #2, or maybe #5. When you're really thinking, "How many glasses deep on wine was she while writing this? I think the cat meme was just because she found that cat meme on google images and wanted to include it. Cats don't high five, everyone knows that. And was that really the best meme she could get to describe Saturday? It's 2015, come on Sarah, you really can't find a better Saturday meme? I might unfollow on bloglovin. For sure on instagram." 



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15 comments :

  1. Piiiiiiiiiiizzaaaaaaaaaaa! And without Andy Cohen, how would I have spent the accumulated hours I've quoted the great Nene Leakes "Girl, bye".

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  2. haha that cat does get a high five, even if cats arent my favorite either. YOU GET A HIGH FIVE FROM ME

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  3. That dog with the pizza tho! And the Jupiter/weekend meme is on point!

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  4. the cate meme is hilarious. consider this a high five!

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  5. This post wins! High fives to Saturday for sure. Friday is work work work and then FLOP and usually go to bed way too early bc I'm to tired to do anything else, ha!

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  6. haha high five to you for this post. And Pizza. I want to high five pizza with my face!

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  7. Ok, you're the best, as usual. I love everything involved in #3. And a big fat yes to Jenna Marbles - I know that I'm in the minority as I am a real live grown adult and still watch her weekly, but homegirl lets all her goofy weird shit out and posts it on the internet and makes a living doing it. High five to her, for reals.

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  8. This is hilarious and I loved every bit of it. I will NOT be unfollowing ;)

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  9. Dogs who give high fives really ARE the best. And as the owner you can most definitely feel good about it because BHAM you trained them, so winning. Also the tiny t-Rex hands kill me every time

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  10. Hey! I happy to looooooooove Fridays! Because on Fridays I get to go home from work and not go back for TWO COMPLETE DAYS. On Saturdays, I only get one day + a couple of hours away from work. But on Friday? I have the whole weekend ahead of me!

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  11. Who doesn't love pizza? I will tell you who, strange people that's who

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  12. Seriously, one of my favorite posts! I can't stop laughing - high five to YOU! Xo, Stephanie

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