My issue with team trivia is deep seeded. I don't think I'm dumb. I mean, I do medium at Jeopardy when I watch and can easily figure out public transportation routes when in a new city, both of which to me scream, 20-something genius. So if I'm not dumb, why am I so terrible at team trivia? Oh, that's right, because it is completely targeted at men. Nerdy men. Men that may or may not have spent 1+ years in their parent's basement, playing battle galactic warcraft (or whatever it's called), and without a doubt have a mustard stain on their shirt right this very minute. Actually, scratch that last comment, I believe I have a mustard stain on the pants I'm wearing. You win some you lose some.
Bar trivia these days is tailored to men who watch way too many movies, play way too many video games, listen to way too much indy rock music and, for some insane reason that I can attribute to nothing other than they clearly made flashcards to practice for team bar trivia, can tell you every single president, by year, in order, as well as their gardner, in order by most daffodils planted.
With all that said, I'll be the first to suggest, "Hey! Let's go play team trivia tonight!" Maybe it's because I enjoy White House daffodils, maybe it's because I like beer. I'm not really sure. (Spoiler: It's beer.)
This last round of trivia was hands down the worst though. For example, here is, verbatim, the first question asked, "What 1972 cyborg novel did something by something else written by this guy?"
6 million dollar man
Me: "Yeahhhh, can I get another IPA?"
You get my point here? This trivia is impossible. So I would like to introduce my newest venture that, as of April 22nd, I'm accepting very wealthy investors to back my company. I'll accept opening bids of $10,000. Please leave your bid, account and routing numbers in the comments and I'll be in touch.
::: INTRODUCING :::
OMG That's Literally SO BASIC Team Trivia
OMG That's Literally SO BASIC Team Trivia will take place in bars across the country. By bars, I mean wine rooms, martini bars, craft cocktail speakeasies, champagne lounges and dance clubs where Taylor Swift dominates the DJ's playlist.
You may have as many ladies in your wolf pack team as you like. You must pick a team name. Team name examples include:
"We literally do not care"
"But first, trivia"
"We woke up like this"
"Monday is a basic bitch" (encouraged for trivia that meets on Mondays)
"Sorry Not Sorry for Winning"
"Dead. Death. Dying"
"Where do all the bobby pins go"
"Insert Heart Eyed Emoji Here As Our Team Name"
(Answers listed below. I would have listed them upside down like in Cosmo, but turning a magazine upside down is much easier than turning a laptop upside down)
Q1. Are you familiar with the exhcange policy at Forever 21
Q2. Which is quite literally the best phone like, ever.
jk lol lylas those were just warm up freebies...
Q4. What is Carrie Bradshaw's real name
Q5. Who does Carrie Bradshaw get proposed to, but eventually turn down
Q6 What is Taylor Swift's Instagram handle?
Q7. What are the two main colors featured on the seasonal cups at Starbs?
Q8. What does #MCM stand for?
Q9. In what city does this show take place?
Q10. On what day did Aaron Samuels ask Cady Heron what day it was?
Q11. What does ANTM stand for?
Q12. Who is this person?
Q13. Who was Gossip Girl?
Q14. Name this brand
Q16. Who is this man?
Q17. Finish this chorus, "Ladies leave your man at home. The club is full of ballas and they pockets full grown.... "
The following questions will all be scenes from movies. You must name the movie
GOOD LORD I WOULD DOMINATE AT THIS TRIVIA!!!
Don't forget, now accepting investors. $10,000 minimum buy in.
K thx. BYE.
...Answers...A1. Yes A2. iPhone6 A3. Blanket Scarf A4. SJP A5. Aidan Shaw A6. @taylorswift A7. Red and white A8. Man Crush Monday A9. Miami A10. October 3 A11. America's Next Top Model A12. Kim Richards A13. Dan Humphrey (we will also accept Lonely Boy) A14. Lululemon A15. Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) A16. Chris Harrison A17. And all you fellas leave yo girl With her friends Cause its 11:30 and the club is Jumpin, jumpin A18. 10 Things I Hate About You A19. Devil Wears Prada A20.