Venus Trapped in Mars

25 March 2014

What does being brave mean to you?

So many things terrify me. I want to say woe is me all the time. Woe is me, I'm in Dallas now and I live alone. Woe is me I've been here for a year and a half and I don't have a bustling, every-night-of-the-week social life. But you know why I don't? I'm a coward! I'm not BRAVE.








I'm just the strangest person because once I get somewhere, I'm the most outgoing person you will meet. Once I have a friend around, or someone to talk to, I'm a social butterfly with a smile on my face and endless topics to talk to people about. But good lord am I the most terrified, shy, hesitant, self-conscious person that ever lived all the way up to the second before I get in a more comfortable situation. Sometimes it makes me feel like Taylor Swift, "Wait, you guys really like me? This is just so unexpected..." of course they like you, you're freaking superstar Taylor Swift and you're amazing. Stop being surprised!!! 

Why can't I remember that people will like me? Why can't I just get there. Getting there.... that's the hard part.  

What does being brave mean to me?

Being brave to me is simply getting there. Getting there is so hard to do. Getting to that event you were invited to blog about, getting to that meetup.com get together you read about and thought looked fun, getting to that sorority alum wine night that you've known about for weeks that has been sitting in your email inbox, getting to dinner or having a cocktail at a bar by yourself knowing that you'll be able to meet people when you simply get there. 

GETTING THERE. That is what brave means to me. 

I was always so shy in high school, and while most high school traits fade away as you age, I still see myself as this shy, self-conscious, loser nobody. I see myself as someone I haven't been in ten years! How crazy is that?! Nuts, I know. Taylor Swift level nuts... DUDE we all like you, quit with the charade. 

So I've put this reminder on a poster on my bar cart. My bar cart sits right next to my television, something I obviously will see often. Maybe the next time I settle on having a drink and staying in, I'll see this poster and instead decide to BE BRAVE

One thing I know works for me is when I tell everyone that I'm trying to make a change. Take my weight loss journey for example, this post was the changing point in my lifestyle, and I haven't looked back!

So from here on out, I'm going to #bebrave. When I get the guts to get there, I'm going to snap a picture on Instagram and use the hashtag #VTIMbebrave... So you guys will know that this was something I was petrified to do, but I did it anyway. I hope that anyone that is going through a similar journey will follow along, use that hashtag and be brave. Because if there is one thing I've learned about blogging, it's that support system we provide each other is the most incredible, uplifting and encouraging system a girl could have. So what do y'all say? Want to #BeBrave?



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45 comments :

  1. I'm so proud of you-that you can even admit to something like that to yourself much less a bunch of strangers! You go girl-I'm proud of you for putting yourself out there! Can't wait to catch up on Friday!!! xoxoxo

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  2. Yes to being brave! Yes to realizing how awesome you are!

    Can't wait to see what being brave means to you. I'll be cheering you on!

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  3. This is great! I have the same issue and GETTING THERE is the first step (like my fear of going to pilates last night...but I kept driving without thinking or making any U-turns)!

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  4. I like this, I can't wait to see what you post. I could see myself doing this but being brave to me means talking to someone I've never talked to before and coming away without feeling like a total dumb-ass. If I go back and take their picture the not feeling like a dumb-ass moment will probably be ruined.

    If I do however find an opportunity I'll #BeBrave with you!

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  5. When I was in high school I didn't even want to walk into the gym by myself, even though I knew everyone who was in there (small town, small school)! When I went away to college this all quickly changed and moving abroad has forced me to be more brave than I would like at times. It has made for some funny stories though of the random events I end up at.

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  6. I def know how you feel.I am EXTREMELY shy and normally when it comes to meeting new people or trying new things I tense up and automatically start thinking about all the "what ifs" fear puts into my head..Ive been working my butt off to get over it.I think being brave def means doing the opposite of what fear is telling you to do no matter how crazy it may seem.

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  7. Can I just say (this has nothing to do with being brave) that I love how colourful that corner of your apartment is?! I used to hate randomly chatting people up, but being in a sorority completely broke me out of that and made me a small talk master! x

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  8. This is a great post. And good for you for taking that step to be brave, even if you're scared shitless. Good things will happen!

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  9. i 100% agree. sometimes i don't want to do the things that scare me, so i just dont do them. but when i do get out of my comfort zone I'm always better for it. I'm joining the movement for sure!

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  10. I love this! I can't wait to see what you get in to :)

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  11. Can't wait to see the pics, and where you go. Maybe I will run into at one of the places lol

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  12. I think it's pretty brave of you to put it out there today on the blog! I'm impressed! Let's all color outside the lines and #BeBrave!

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  13. I love this! I feel the same way most of the time: taking a leap of faith is the most terrifying part. Once I feel comfortable, I can be outgoing & social, but put me in any situation that I don't know anyone or am uncomfortable and my anxiety is through the roof.

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  14. I love this! Meeting new people is always something that seems so scary. I'm usually the girl who has RSVP'ed for the event and then backs out last minute. So I will be joining you in this!

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  15. Holy crap.. Did you write this post specifically for me? Because I totally wrote about being brave yesterday!!! I'd have more "Be Brave" pep talks with myself in the last 2 months than I've ever had! I love this so much and I'm so glad that so many other people I love and read daily are working on being brave with me! Ahhh, this makes me day!

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  16. I'm with you. It's hard to get yourself out there and I am the exact same way. I'm on board with you. Let's go make a million friends :) I'll make sure you send you a lovely giraffe picture that illustrates this new adventure... just give me a few hours to search.

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  17. I'm right there with ya! I'm still so shy around new people and feel so awkward, so getting there is definitely hard for me. I've been in San Antonio for about 2 years now and still don't have too many friends. Plus, working from home doesn't exactly help.

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  18. Ahhhhh thank you for this post, it was so needed right now! There are some possible upcoming changes in my life, and while I think they will be for the good I am absolutely terrified. I've also been wanting to write a book FOR YEARS and it never seems to happen, and the truth of the matter is I'm just scared it will be a great big failure. I'll definitely be using this hashtag!

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  19. I think bravery for me looks like a lot of different things--but usually it's taking the harder choice instead of the easier one. And I'm much more likely to actually do that when, like you, I make an intentional decision to do so!

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  20. Wow. I never would have guessed that you'd have some of the same anxieties I do about social situations. You seem so confident. It kind of makes me feel better to know I'm not alone.

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  21. You go girl!!!!!! Maybe I'll be able to attend that meetup group I joined like a million years ago. I definitely love your blog, it's like a reality check/slap in the face awesomeness, much needed. (Have you been talking to my mom???)

    Natalia
    PS I love your shaker!!

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  22. I'm the same way! The process is what gets to me. Hooray for putting ourselves out there!

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  23. I wish you lived in my neck of the woods - I can relate to so much of what you post and would step out of my isolation bubble and hang out with you!

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  24. Being brave is doing what scares the shit out of you but giving it you all once you start it..............I am not brave but I do try to do brave things.............

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  25. I can totally relate; I am such an introvert, and I often have to really make myself go to events that might make me nervous. I always thought of myself as a bit of a wimp. C recently described me to some one else as "courageous" and I was like, wait, what? He pointed out that I keep trying to overcome my fear of heights by going zip lining or on treacherous hiking trails. I only see the failure, like when I had to turn around on a trail or when the zip lining guide had to strap to me because I was shaking too hard. I guess that was all to say that often times we underestimate how brave we really are because we focus too much on failures, ya know?
    -Rachel @ With Love, Rachel

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  26. Eeek. I have the same problem.
    Even though having multiple toddlers is tough, I used them as a crutch or excuse, and hide behind them.
    I just registered back at school so I can get out there and do something that makes me ME!

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  27. This is so me too! Once there, I am Miss Social, but I dread going all day, afraid that I'll be awkward and stiff! Happy to hear that I'm not alone, here's to being brave!
    xx
    Here&Now

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  28. omg, i could have written this. i have the SAME EXACT PROBLEM - i'm super social once i get there, but i have the hardest time actually getting there! i can talk myself out of anything. i've lived here a little over a year and am definitely lacking in the social calendar.

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  29. You're totally right and you're so not alone. I am the exact same way. I am all outgoing and downright funny when I'm with a good friend or my sister out in public. When I'm alone, I'm still friendly but less inclined to strike up a conversation. I have no idea why.. and it's silly!!

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  30. I love this!! I can't wait to see all your instagrams with the hashtag!

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  31. Love love love this! I can't wait to see where your brave adventures take you!
    And, girl, I am SO with you on the high school traits thing. I totally carry that baggage with me like it was life support--that I'm the incredibly shy, awkward chick no one notices or should notice. It makes going out the door scary for me, too, but I've found that scariest things do offer some of the best rewards! GO YOU for taking that step!! Thanks for your honesty and our courage! WHOO-HOO!!!

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  32. I totally relate to this! I never regret getting there, but it seems so scary beforehand!

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  33. Wonderful post. I'm kicking you out of my head now though. Just what I needed to read today.

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  34. I loved this post so much because being brave can mean so many different things to different people, but what really matters is that we are just going beyond our comfort zone in pursuit of the life we want and deserve. I am also in love with this post because you referenced Taytay who is my spirit animal in all ways. Keep writing, living, and inspiring the people around you to be brave!

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  35. I'm guilty of this too :( I think I need a similar print to remind myself. Being shy will most certainly not get me very far in a new city and that's got to change!

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  36. Wow! I think you are brave to share your most personal and private thought and feelings about yourself with us. I can relate to most of what you are talking about (meaning feeling the same way).
    For me, I think I just don't want to be hurt anymore. Yes, I know if I don't try, I'm losing out on what could be very wonderful interactions with others...but I just can't deal with more hurt right now. Maybe one day I will be brave too. Thanks for the inspiration. Good Luck to you on your journey:)

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  37. I'm exactly the same as you, only comfortable with friends but in strange situations (which is most of the time), I find it hard to talk or even get up and go to it. Sometimes it's as easy at walking to the shops and back high heels but I've only managed that on a few occasions. One step at a time and you will be proud that you managed it when you look over at the week/month's achievements

    http://gingerchestnut.blogspot.co.uk/

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  38. This is a great post for so many reasons. We are so funny that we hold onto these crazy misconceptions about ourselves from adolescence. But it's true that the more we make an effort to be brave, the braver we will become.

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  39. Loved reading this! To me being brave is speaking up - be it for myself or somebody else.

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  40. This sounds so much like me, it's uncanny! As soon as I meet people and get talking, I'm the proverbial social butterfly. But that initial 'getting out there' is terrifying for me, even though I know that everything that follows is great and wonderful. I am, slowly, getting better. :) Good luck to you and getting out there. :D

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  41. Sorority alum events are the SHIZNIT and I GUARANTEE you will not regret attending a single one.

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  42. Aww, I think you're super brave! I use Meetup too and for the first year I was on it I felt that way. And then I went to a brunch, and it was ok. Sometimes it still feels superficial but t least it's something out from under the rock I like to stay by.

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  43. Quickie side note: your bar cart looks awesome! More importantly: good for you for putting yourself out there. I know I could definitely learn a thing or two about being brave, so I'll definitely be following along and hopefully you'll inspire me!

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  44. I love this. Making (real, true, heart-to-heart) friends as an adult is HARD. Even as a married person, it's difficult to make those types of friendships we yearn for, and miss from childhood, teenage years, or college. I don't have the answer or any real motivating thoughts, but I do admire you for posting this publicly and (when I get my smart phone back) I hope to use #VTMbebrave myself. :)

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