Venus Trapped in Mars

20 March 2014

They Told Me I Couldn't





When I saw this quote on Pinterest, I started to reach for the re-pin button to add it to Sarah Written All Over It, as I so often do on pretty quotes like this one. But I stopped, mid mouse drag, and stared at it a bit longer. 

I always pin the get it guuurrrlll type quotes, very much like this one. You know the quotes that go something like, "Dear Self, Be Awesome Today" or the quote that goes, "Remember the Person You Thought You Couldn't Live Without, Well Look at You, Livin and Shit!" or that quote like, "You Musn't Be Afraid to Dream a Little Bigger Darling..."you know, those quotes. 

So naturally, my first instinct was to eat this pin right up. But I didn't repin because I stopped and realized, no one has ever told me I couldn't do something. Since the day I was born I've been told there is nothing I can't do. In fact, many things weren't even a matter of can or can't in my household. Take college for instance, it wasn't an option, I was going to college.

I wanted to start Social&Chic and do freelance work for my old company in Tennessee when I moved to Texas. No one told me I couldn't. No one told me that was impossible. Heck, no one even told me you can't move to Texas! The more common response was, "Whoa that'll be awesome! I'd love to help and send business your way!"

I've made many, and I mean many, major changes in my life since college. Probably safe to say I've made more than the vast majority of 27 year olds in this country. At no point, and I mean none, did anyone tell me I'd fail. Or tell me I couldn't do that. Or tell me I was crazy. I've received nothing but love and support with all of my endeavors, no matter how crazy they were! I'd say the only person who ever holds me back, tells me I'm going to fail... is myself!

Sure I've been given constructive criticism. And it hurt to hear those things. But guess what was behind that criticism, love and support! Love and support and good intentions, intentions of helping me reach whatever goal it was I had set for myself.

Maybe the person who made this quote misunderstood someone's constructive criticism and needs a tougher skin? Or maybe the person who made this quote has toxic people in their life and really needs to re-evaluate the people they are associating with. I sure as heck know that if someone were to ever, and I mean ever, tell me I couldn't do something... well I would laugh so hard and say, "Don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya!"


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30 comments :

  1. I am totally in love with this post!

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  2. I am lucky to have been surrounded by nothing but supportive people as well. I don't know if I would have been able to make a move abroad if I didn't have them supporting me along the way.

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  3. "I'd say the only person who ever holds me back, tells me I'm going to fail... is myself." ...that hit home. I too have been encouraged my whole life (which is also why my love language is words of affirmation and a lot of why I have succeeded at a lot) but what I don't get is how is that when people are constantly encouraging us we would be the ones telling ourselves we can't?! Silly huh?
    Eva Marie Taylor

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  4. Totally agree with this post! love love love

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  5. Love this and with that I say.... "GET IT GUUUUUURL"!!!!

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  6. LOVE. so true. sometimes our inner critic really does get the best of us!

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  7. hell yes. i think we were raised really similarly. i 100% agree. man, i'm so glad you're in my life.

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  8. And this is a perfect example of why I love you!

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  9. love this. if you surround yourself with positive people, no negative bullshit should get in the way of doing great things!

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  10. Love this! There have been people in my life who've told me I can't, and Even after I went ahead and did it thy never changed their minds. But my loved ones always stand behind me and tell me I can do whatever I set my mind to.

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  11. That's a good thing that you've been surrounded by people in your life who haven't told you that your decisions would never work. I don't know if I've ever been told "You can't" in those words, but I've been told things along the lines of "I wouldn't do that if I were you..." Sometimes advice should be taken and sometimes it shouldn't...

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  12. I've never thought about it but I don't think I have been told that either! But definitely keeping this in mind now if someone ever tries to tell me that in the future! I'd probably use a few non-blog-appropriate words if someone did too!

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  13. You are a very lucky woman to be surrounded by such positivity. Seriously cherish that, because there are so many who have never had anyone ever believe in them to even complete the smallest things.

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  14. I love Pinterest for this very reason. I love how it can get your wheels turning in your head and you really hit the nail on the head. People who have surrounded themselves with negative people need to re-evaluate and also maybe those people are there to spur that person to move forward and that's what they needed to realize they can do something, or that motivated them to prove them wrong. I can't say that I've had many people say I can't do something, but I just always try to think positive and believe enough that if I want something I make sure I do what I can to make it happen.

    Can't wait to meet you again this weekend!

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  15. This is so true, I always wonder how everyone has so much faith in me and the things I can accomplish, and yet I always doubt myself. So true, so sad. I used to have a friend that said I could fly with my engine turned off if I just tried.

    BTW have you had any Starbucks? I've hit my snooze like a trillion times already :(

    Natalia

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  16. Hmmm. This got me thinking too... I can't pinpoint a time that I've been told I CAN'T do something either. I'm thankful for that! I wonder how many people are truly surrounded by this kind of negativity and discouragement.
    Way to get my gears a turnin' this morning!

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  17. It's kind of funny. No one has really told me I CAN'T do anything either. But I have had people tell me that I WON'T. The lame part is, they were right.

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  18. This post is me. K bye. My parents are annoyingly supportive of everything I do. I could tell them I want to be a dog groomer one day and they would be like DO IT!!!

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  19. That pinterest board is full of gold. Glitter and gold. Keep kicking face and taking names!

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  20. Love those quotes! Although this quote may not reflect your experiences, it does for many people. Like my mom, for instance. She poured herself into writing her memoir for several years, worked very hard, and was rejected from all the publishing companies with the excuse of "although your writing style is very captivating and your story is fascinating, your story is not universal enough and not enough women will relate." This discouraged her for a while but then she decided that she should be allowed to publish something worthy of being read so she self-published! And it has been quite successful so far!
    (after saying all of this, this is my mom's book, if you're interested: http://www.amazon.com/Trailing-Memoir-Kristin-Louise-Duncombe/dp/1470159791 )

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  21. That's so true! I feel like our moms really broke that glass ceiling, career-wise, but I have never felt any pressure to follow the same path that my mom did--great accounting job, stay at home mom, etc.

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  22. I can't think of a time when someone has straight up told me I couldn't do something, either. But I have felt very discouraged by people in my life. Luckily, I eventually learned to hold those people at arm's length. I need people who will support me nearby.

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  23. I love this post. I too have been very blessed with endless positive support from my family, but as a woman in Science, I definitely felt the, "oh honey, leave the hard stuff for the men folk" looks that some of the older faculty members shot me. Well la tea da, look at me now! Hahaha. I think being doubted/underestimated is a great driver, and would say that it is the one that often keeps me going. Cause I'm stubborn and like to prove people wrong!

    xx
    Here&Now

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  24. No one has ever directly told me I couldn't do something, but I think it's more of "the world" tells us we can't do certain things. At least that's more how I took the quote, but what do I know lol

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  25. I love this!!! I've had very supportive people around me my whole life, and it does push me even more to achieve, and I think the person who says "you can't" the most is myself, which also pushes to me try and contradict that little voice that says "no."

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  26. I've been told I couldn't do things before...like own/ride a motorcycle or own a house. But I LOVE to prove people wrong. So I really like that quote.

    -AJ
    OccasionallyAJ.com

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  27. I love your post too!
    But I have a different idea of why someone might have been told they can't. I have a disability (a heart condition, so nothing very obvious), and no one has ever expected much of me. As supportive as my parents are of my, my whole life I've been told I "can't" do things. Some things would put me in too much danger so I abide by them (like getting my ears pierced), but I remember being raised to go to college...only to graduate and have my mom (as well as a teacher) tell me she doesn't think college is the right place for me! I'm currently on a disability pension, my goal is to one day not need that money. To be able to provide for myself. Does anyone expect that I'll get there? No. Does that mean I won't? Absolutely not!

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