Venus Trapped in Mars

20 November 2015

A Fantasy Football Warning From Me To You

By now, it's possible that you might have heard of this crazy little game called Fantasy Football. Fantasy football comes in all shapes and sizes, and is played on a variety of websites like Yahoo, ESPN and Draft Kings. I've been playing Fantasy Football for about 10 years and I'm here to issue a warning if you're thinking about joining a league for the first time. 

Be sure that if you're planning on playing with people you know, like friends or family or boyfriends or husbands, that your relationship with those you are competing against is strong. I'm talking Arnold Schwarzenegger circa 1984 strong. 

If it isn't Arnold strong, you better be ok to kiss those relationships goodbye. 

Let me explain. 

CB and I really don't argue very often. I'm not saying arguing is a bad thing, I've been in relationships where we did nothing but argue, and relationships where an argument never once arose. My relationship with CB in particular though, we just don't argue very often and that works for us. In fact, the one topic that I consistently fly off the handle on is SO RIDICULOUSLY SILLY; What time we are going to eat dinner at night. 

I'm not joking. This is the single culprit for the majority of our arguments. He wants to eat at early bird pricing times, like 5:45pm. I want to eat at 7 or 8, like a normal human. There is a reason they give a discount to people who want to eat at 5:45, because NO ONE wants to eat at 5:45.

So true life, this is what we argue about. Yes I know, ridiculous first world problem.

Well, that was all we argued about, up until Fantasy Football started and I campaigned to join his all guys league. He was my biggest supporter and convinced his friends that I needed IN that league. Half of the friends were good with it -- probably thought I'd leave guys on bye week and keep someone like Jamaal Charles in at running back even though he's on IR -- the other half were simply overruled since CB was the commissioner. I liked his style on that one.

Flash forward to week 11, and I'm in 2nd place. CB's team isn't doing great. I'm not sure what the problem is, and I'll be nice about this because I really think his team is incredible. Oh and the other reason I'll be nice....

He's been super supportive, saying multiple times how badly he wants me to win the whole thing. I thought that was actually really sweet. 

THAT WAS UNTIL WEEK 11. Week 11, this week, Sarah vs. CB. I swear y'all it was like someone flipped a switch and this monster took over CB's body. 

The kindness and supportive cheers transformed into recruiting his friends to block my waiver wire picks so that I couldn't get the players I wanted. 

I'm not joking, this kid called up his BROS and formed an alliance, circa 2001 Survivor on CBS. 

The Bro tribe has spoken. 

When I learned that he did this, I flew off the handle and starting saying mean things about his now 2-8 team that he got highly offended at (not sure why, that's literally his record, I had already complimented his lineup) and we spent the rest of the car ride not speaking. 

I was hurt that he would enlist the bro tribe.

He was hurt because he felt like that was a low blow to bring up his record. He was probably right, it was. 


Fantasy Football brings out the worst in people, so beware of participating. Have you ever played the game Sorry! and a significant other intentionally targeted you over everyone else in the game? It's just like that, personal unfavorable targeting from those you love the most. 

This is your official warning, from me to you, sistah
It's fun, I recommend it, but just be careful who you play with. 

Please say a little prayer or wish up into that big blue sky today that CB and I make it through the weekend matchup against each other. I really like this kid and I'm hoping I come to you on Monday Tuesday with the same sentiment. 

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  1. Fantasy Football really does bring out the worst in people! My husband and I are in the same league this year, and we're in the same position as you and CB, I'm doing well and he's not. He's not really trash talking this year though, so it's kind of nice to not have to listen to that.

  2. I have played in the same league as my husband now for many years and this is the first year we have had major drama. We are all very competitive, but unfortunately one person in our league decided to go really far and personally attack everyone. This is the week I play my husband too. May we all be civil by Tuesday! :-)

  3. My husband and I have the opposite problem...our league nearly ended because everyone accused us of cheating because we made a trade. I gave hime DeAngelo Williams and got Langford as part of the trade. They all claimed Williams was so much better than Langford the trade wasn't fair. (My husband sits at #1, so they were all a little bitter anyway...I should also note, his only loss is to me!) I have Forte so having Langford made sense for me. They cried for a week, but have since shut their mouths now that Langford is killing it and Williams not so much... The only time my husband and I have fought over FF was that one time he convinced me to drop that guy Freeman because he wasn't going to be any good, it is a darn good thing I got him back on waivers...our marriage may have ended! (I no longer take FF advice from my husband)

    1. DROP FREEMAN!!! AAHHHH!! He has been a BEAST, but he was kind of right, he certainly wasn't projected to be like that. I'm SO SO SOOOO glad you got that guy back! Amazing. He is absurdly awesome.

    2. Yep...he makes up for drafting Lacey and Hill :/

  4. Michael is about the least interested male in football in the US of A but we do like to be right a lot. which brings out some BAD things...

  5. The pouting that insued when I was beating John week 5 and then he switched out his WR on the monday night game and then beat me by two points was EPIC. But then my team sucked and I'm like what 3 and something, so I let him have Ingram before I played John this past weekend and I benched a WR last minute, no one in his place, trying to give John the win, but he played Dalton and I still won. Secretly I was pleased.

  6. And I thought you were here to warn about all the trouble that one league is getting into with the government for "gambling" accusations. Oops.

  7. Last year Brian and I made a bet that whoever won had to do the other person's laundry. I won and he never did my laundry.. rude.

  8. Oh my goodness its so true. So I have two stories.
    1. Our friend who runs 2 of the 2 leagues I was in somehow managed to find a ways for my husband and I to play each other the weekend we got married.... Yes... Luckily we were so high on post wedding love that we both didn't pay attention to our teams that sunday..
    2. This year one of the smaller leagues I participated the past 2 years (run by the same friend as stated above) decided that my husband could play in it this year but I couldn't because they wanted it to be an all boys leagues. I was so pissed because he waited to the day of the draft to tell me and my husband, so my husband still played in it but I nicely (but upsetly) told him next time that he needs to pull the "if my wife can't play, I won't play" card cause thats a bunch of BS kicking your friends wife out of the team.

    but its true, FF ruins lives lol. I don't even want to touch the ones where you make money :P

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  10. The reason I can't wait for football season to end is because of Fantasy Football. My boyfriend has become a monster and even though I was the reason why he got Adrian Peterson on his league which has scored him massive points... I apparently know nothing. Make it stop please lol.

  11. My bf is in a league with all his bros since high school so all the gf's started our own league for this very reason haha

  12. I am dying to know.... did y'all survive the weekend?! I'm stalking you and I neeeeeeeeed to know!!! LOL


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