Venus Trapped in Mars

25 November 2015

My Heart Can't Take It

I would generally consider myself a very happy person. I love my life and I'm unbelievably grateful to have it..... I'm sure I've said that about a billion times on the blog by now. I sometimes get sad for no reason though. Yesterday was one of those days, I was so very sad for no reason. 

I messaged CB on chat and told him how sad I felt, and that I couldn't shake it. He responded by reminding me that we've got 4 days coming up filled with family and of course each other, and how could I be sad with all of that fun coming my way? I unfortunately didn't have an answer. I don't know. I do not know why I get as sad as I do sometimes. It's honestly quite frustrating, I'm happy overall..... yet sad.

Except, there was a reason this time. It was a subliminal reason that I didn't pick up on until around 4pm that day when someone shared a photography project on "How Dogs Get Older" and it clicked what I was sad about. All day long, without even realizing, my eyeballs had been saturated with stories of dogs, each one making me sadder and sadder.

For some reason, everyone and their brother was sharing dog stories on Facebook yesterday; happy dogs, old dogs, rescued dogs, cartoon dogs, dogs that need saving, dogs that didn't make it. I bet I'd been shown 50 different articles about dogs on Facebook in the span of 8 hours.  

Stories of dogs rarely leave me feeling happy. I can laugh at the articles that show images of pups that don't comprehend personal space, but I can't handle much else. I'm just not able to read about dogs without crying, even the unbelievably happy rescue stories make me feel horribly sad. 

Why is that?

Take that article on "How Dogs Get Older" for example, I saw the first picture and I burst into tears. All I could think about was losing Gee and Veenie and how heartbroken I'd be, and I cried heavily and had to remove myself from my cubicle to dry my eyes.

Then I just cried heavily again typing that out, thinking about it all over again. They are my whole world, and I of course know they will go one day, but nothing makes me sadder than thinking about that day. That whole article was supposed to be a happy article, but all it made me do was cry. 

I genuinely dislike crying, and no matter what story I read about a dog, I cry. In turn, I seem to be left saddened for the rest of the day. It's really awful, because I want to read stories of dogs that have been rescued and are surrounded by nothing but the most incredible love they've ever felt, but I can't. I fear the feeling I know I will get, that feeling of being engulfed in sadness.

Tears of joy are confusing to me, to my body. Growing up, like most kids, being unbelievably happy about something didn't make me cry it only made me smile and giggle. As a kid, aside from tears caused by physical pain, I would cry because something made me sad or upset.

Now that I'm older, my mind can't seem to understand that tears brought on by pure joy shouldn't leave you feeling sad.

I read something that makes me feel overjoyed...
I cry...
Then my mind thinks, "Oh, she's crying, something terrible must be going on. She must be sad"
Then I'm left sad.

I don't have a point to this post, and I certainly don't have a solution yet, but I did feel the need to write about it. If knowing you have a problem is half the battle, then I just identified my problem.

Does anyone else get like this over puppy videos?????

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  1. I'm in the same boat 100%.

  2. I'm a certified #crazydoglady so I can completely relate!

  3. Like Kait said, certified crazy dog lady here, so I totally agree!

  4. I have so much anxiety over something happening to my dogs too. I try to make it better by reminding myself that I am giving them the best life possible and I will give them joy and happiness for as long as I have them!

  5. I'm not a crier either, except when it comes to dogs. I seriously related to this. The story of the 9/11 rescue dog that they threw a party for, left me upset for two whole days. I have to stay away from certain stories just because it puts me in a funk.

  6. Oh it's the worst. Dog videos always make me cry.. I hate watching them with my boyfriend :/ but thankfully he gets the same way thinking about losing any of our animals (not that it's good, but I'm glad I'm not the only one). And I'm right there with you on the feeling sad randomly for no reason.. it really sucks.

  7. Not puppy videos but (okay don't judge me) the other day I was just thinking about the fact that my cat will eventually die. Keep in mind he's not even two yet! And I guess since moving to DC he's been the only stable thing I have, I just broke down like a crazy person. Then I pulled it together and remembered he has at least ten years. Also I made the decision to buy the most expensive, organic cat food I can find lol

  8. I want to rescue all the puppies! I want to own a sanctuary for all the unwanted and make them happy and love them all day. Cannot take the sad videos do not get me started on the SPCA commercials.

  9. there is this hallmark movie about sled dogs that get lost ina snow storm and the little runt has to save them and lead them home.i literally cry like the world is coming to an end watching it! I can watch sad movies all day but when it comes to dogs I am a mess!

  10. I literally can't look at dog posts on Facebook or anywhere because I have the same reactions that you do! I get so upset, even if they're happy posts at the end! And that article about dogs getting older, I would have totally lost it! I constantly tell my husband that Dart is living forever, because he totally is, I couldn't handle losing him.

  11. I completely understand and connect about being a generally happy person, but sometimes unable to help being sad. It's those little triggers and concepts that linger and no matter how hard you wish you could shake it off, it sticks until, well, it's ready to go into its corner until next time.

    I tear up every time I think about losing my dog, Ollie. Like you with your pups, he is my world and life without him doesn't exist. It's as simple as that. Hang in there and remember how much time you DO have with the doggies, and how important it is to cherish those moments. Maybe document happy dog photos/articles?

  12. hugs

  13. Aww, Sarah! I love how much you love your dogs. And trust me, losing a pet is devastating. I don't cry very often, and didn't think I would when I lost my cat, but I was so, so, so sad for days... I can't imagine doing it all over again.

  14. I love dog posts, but when some make me think about how old my dog is and that the dogs life on earth is much shorter than ours, I wanna cry. When I saw a video about the dog who ate all the hamburgers he could before he was put to sleep I bawled my eyes out for hours. I am so sorry that you are sad, it's normal to be sad. My dog Baloo is 11, he's old, lots of grey hairs, and he's got lumps. I know his time here is short, and I just hope that when that day comes I am strong enough to let him go in peace... It sucks. I have no words of wisdom.... sending you all the hugs♥

  15. Oh man. That's interesting. I can kinda understand that. And anyway I can relate. My golden retriever passed the day after thanksgiving and seeing dogs makes me sad right now. I got a tattoo for her though and that helped me a little.

  16. i really think we have a deeper connection with animals. they can't help themselves, WE have to help them. gah... i love dogs.


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