Venus Trapped in Mars

13 September 2013

Stop it Vogue. Stop it NFL. Just Stop it.

After seeing a billboard for a "fanicure" an NFL Manicure, then a post yesterday by one of my favorite sites, The Glitter Guide, about Game Day Glam... I became (more) fed up with the recommendations for game day attire. No heels! No weird nails. Why is this so difficult? Why do women always feel the need to overdress for occasions? It's football... beer + cheese dip = comfort with a lot of give for in-game expanding belly. 

Every website has the same crap posted over and over. The same boring tshirts, the same jerseys, the same bedazzled junk that I would never wear. Just because you made a tshirt that is cut for a woman and slapped the word ladies on it, doesn't mean I'm going to buy one in every color. 

In the Glitter Guide post, each girl they interviewed suggested that there is no need to wear your team's color head to toe, and with that I agree. But is it too much to ask to want to have a logo somewhere on my body? What if my Vols are playing Clemson? Not that they do play each other, but what if? I'd be wearing orange, they'd be wearing orange... you'd never know who I was rooting for.

Then I come to the issue of the NFL advertising campaigns that are over-dressing every woman pictured. Yes, I'm a girl, yes I love fashion, yes I love the NFL, yes I want to look cute on game day but since when does looking adorable and fashionable equal black tie optional? 

Check out some of these images advertising NFL apparel for women and the Vogue/NFL campaign. I took the liberty of addressing what I think is wrong in each one. 


























Why do Vogue and Football have to be together? Why can't Vogue be with Polo or Sailing? And Football can be with Shape or Cosmo. Why are we forcing the union of the fat kid wearing flannel his mom bought him, and the high maintenance glamazon, fresh off the runway in Milan? I just keep trying to come up with other ways to basically just say, "Stop trying to make fetch happen, NFL." 

Save the costume baubles, save the heels, save the mini skirts. Show me a girl wearing a killer cool vintage tshirt, skinny jeans and converse with her hair and makeup done, a giant smile slapped across her face and a beer in her hand. I want what she's wearing. I want to be her. I want to go tailgate right this second and scream my face off for my team. 

Who would you rather tailgate with?










Maybe if enough people comment and speak up, someone will let ME post a rebuttal on The Glitter Guide! (Or in Vogue???) .... One can dream....


Linking up with Erin, Erin and Tiffany for Football Friday. Linking up with Whitney for #backthatazzup. Oh, and did I mention I'm seeing my favorite human on the planet tonight? Oh, yeah, I'm seeing my favorite person on the planet. I hope she calls me on stage and makes me her bff and we go ice skating in times square and eat cookie dough right out of the bowl... or maybe just calls me on stage.
Mama's Broken Heart by Miranda Lambert on Grooveshark
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68 comments :

  1. THIS. STUFF. I'm not even an NFL fan, but can we apply it to college as well? You don't need a bedazzled jersey. You don't need a pink jersey. Wear your team colors and STOP WITH THESE THINGS!!

    Oh and great song ;)

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  2. I saw one ridiculous ad for whatever brand was doing it and they had a woman in GIANT Palazzo pants. WTF.
    I can stand a little sparkle to make it more girly if you really want to, but most that I've seen go OVERBOARD.

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  3. Ugh. A-freaking-men. Nothing drives me crazier than seeing a girl all glammed up for a night that will ultimately end in beer spilled on your gitzy skirt and nachos in your 3 foot long feather earrings. Just no.

    Whenever I go to a Caps game, there is always a girl in high-heeled, up to the knee boots and they are trying to get to the very last row in the arena. Um hi, I hope you fall.

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  4. Hahaha, not gonna lie, I do think those outfits are pretty ridiculous (and I'm not that fashionable, but they don't even look that cute. I mean, if you're going to go for it, at least make it an amazing outfit. Big pimp hats and coats? Umm.)

    Yeah, people wearing this would look SO out of place! I mean, you're right -- part of fashion is knowing the occasion you are at -- and it's a CASUAL environment. Add some glitter, cool, add some of your own thing, sweet, but um, maybe not a blazer? A BLAZER?

    Anyway, very entertaining! :)

    --Erika
    http://www.chimerikal.com

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  5. That ad you described would be perfect. I'd be all about a rebuttal in Vogue. Or in any major media, because I saw a feature on CBS Sunday Morning about women and football. All they showed was pink jerseys and bedazzled shirts.

    Someone needs to do a campaign about real women football fans and what we really want!

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  6. VOGUE! STOP TRYING TO MAKE HEELS HAPPEN IN THE NFL. JUST STOP IT.

    I'm exactly like you: give me a jersey, some flip flops, some beer and some good old fashion tailgating and I'm happy. There's no need for heels, blazers, sparkles OR PINK JERSEYS.

    Ugh. Why has it come to this?! Good luck this weekend, Vols! We USC Trojans need all the help we can get!

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  7. i'm no sports buff but when you're all decked out in heels and glitter at a game, you might as well be wearing a shirt that says "I DON'T BELONG HERE".

    -kathy
    Vodka and Soda

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  8. I totally agree with you! Wearing a team shirt with heals and fringe skirt...just looks silly. If you are really tailgating, you wouldn't be caught dead in that. I mean, come on...you can't do a keg stand in that shit. So why wear it?!?

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  9. I saw those ads in Vogue and totally agree with you, but going to LSU games down here (and sometimes Saints) usually means we're in a dress/FLATS (always flats never heels) or a skirt/shirt combination. Not gonna lie, I'm ready to graduate (this year!) and be able to wear jeans and a t shirt to a friends to watch the game.

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  10. Obviously you look like more fun to party with and I'm pretty sure it's because you don't look like a Hollywood housewife. I bet their tailgate would have things like Goat Cheese and Brie and matching plates and napkins that coordinate with the silverware and whoopsie! Little Bennie just spilled something so let's get him into his second outfit!

    Seriously, tailgating is a sport in itself. A relaxing, non-stressing sport.

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  11. hold on please while I go grab my fur coat and fringe skirt for a damn football game. PREACH

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  12. I cannot stop laughing at this... As a TCU alum I know what it looks like for girls to overdress for a game... I just thank goodness I never did in college since I was the twirler and I refuse to do so now as an alumna. Seriously you should see some of the women cozied up in their box suites... Its a football game people!

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  13. I couldn't agree with you more. Jeans, Jersey, Hair & makeup done. Perfect gameday for a girl. Seriously, what's wrong with that? Strappy heels? Like is this a joke? I honestly can't. And I agree that wearing the color is not enough. Brand me up. Also, glitter guide needs to stick with what they know, which is not football. Rant over.

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  14. New to your link up---this is awesome!! I completely agree with you about these pictures above--HORRIBLE! These girls are totally not football fans. You can't sit in the bleachers and yell at the refs and drink a beer in a frilly skirt. No sir!

    ~Tiffany
    http://tiffanyd22.blogspot.com

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  15. Okay- I can't help it, I kinda weirdly love that fringe skirt hahahha! BUT- I'd me much more comfy in my jersey and sweats ANY DAY! Btw- did you end up getting anything from VS's stuff this year?

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  16. I'm all for dressing up on game day, in fact I do it more than I should, but all of those outfits are just a big fat NO. Who wears heels on game day? That makes absolutely ZERO sense to me.

    And for the record, I'd rather tailgate with you!

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  17. I don't understand this at all. If I go to a game, I'm wearing jeans (or shorts if it's hot enough) and a team tshirt. It's a football game for goodness sake! Which I've never understood the dressing up that is done at college games either. (You know the cute dresses in team colors.) Maybe this is also due to the fact that I prefer comfort over fashion, but that's just me.

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  18. I've said it before, but I'll say it again. No skirts or dresses. Because you can't do keg stands in skirts or dresses. (well I guess you could, but you'd be a ho.) Clearly I have my priorities in order.

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  19. Heels are neverrrrrr going to happen at a football game. I'm looking at you OLE MISS. BUT, I did go to LSU, so I do get cute-ified for a game. I think it's the Gator hater in me, but I just can't rock a jersey. Just can't. (But SERIOUSLY NFL, a freaking t-shirt with a fringe skirt and heels? NO NO NO)

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  20. Miranda is THE. BEST. CONCERT. I've ever experienced. #jelly

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  21. Oh I couldn't agree with this more!! Jersey, jeans or leggings, boots, and a face tattoo. That's all you need.

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  22. A fringe skirt with an NFL jersey?? No. Just... no.

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  23. Okay, part of me says yes and part of me says no. Being in SEC country, I've gotten used to puttin on the ritz for gameday. You won't see a girl in a jersey for forty miles. However, the Big XIIer in my rocks a jersey to BWW, so who knows. All I'm sayin' is that I've actually gotten used to paying dress up for the stadium, only because I'm talented enough to party in heels. It's how I roll.

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  24. So lame. I saw a commercial for this crap last night while watching my recording of The League and almost threw up. Two years ago when I went to see my team at the Cotton Bowl (KState) I remember noting that the KState girls dressed like fans of the game of football while the Arkansas girls dressed like they are fans of the players and not so much the game. Cocktail dresses!?!?!?! Really? Of course they did kick our ass so I will give them that. Maybe I am so adverse to it all because I went to college in a town where it was snowing during the games and I also was usually coming from my own practice so I was wearing sweats and looked like a hobo. But mostly I think I am adverse to it because it really is just stupid to wear cocktail dresses and heels to a game. Tying to hard, much?

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  25. You know I back you up 100% on this. Now, as an Alabama girl, I dress up for games. Cute team color dress, jeans and sweaters and wool coats, things like that. But hello, you are at a football game. You are going to get sweaty, spilled on, an perhaps worse. Dress for function, then jazz it up afterwards if you need to!
    I will say that I went to a UA v. TN game about 5 years ago and hung out with some friends. One of their friends wrote a blog post about what we were wearing, totally dogging the fact that we had on jeans, boots, wool coats, and gloves. I still don't get it, I mean, we were casual!!!

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  26. I don't know what you're talking about. Nothing says "let's tailgate" quite like pleather leggings and a chunky statement necklace.

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  27. i hate all of it. i hate the nails. i hate the heels. i hate the sex appeal aspect. and i especially hate women's cut tees. gimmie some yoga pants and a boy's tee please.

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  28. I would LOVE to tailgate with you!

    I'm all for a team t-shirt or jersey (even if it were women cut - NOT pink, EVER!) with jeans! Even though you're referring to the NFL I'm just going to blame it on Sean Avery (former NHL player who interned at Vogue). He said he loved a good purse!

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  29. I would LOVE to tailgate with you!

    I'm all for a team t-shirt or jersey (even if it were women cut - NOT pink, EVER!) with jeans! Even though you're referring to the NFL I'm just going to blame it on Sean Avery (former NHL player who interned at Vogue). He said he loved a good purse!

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  30. I would LOVE to tailgate with you!

    I'm all for a team t-shirt or jersey (even if it were women cut - NOT pink, EVER!) with jeans! Even though you're referring to the NFL I'm just going to blame it on Sean Avery (former NHL player who interned at Vogue). He said he loved a good purse!

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  31. You look like you have so much more fun then those other ladies. The fanciest I get for games is maybe a comfy flat instead of sneakers.

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  32. THANK YOU and AMEN! Before I get into my rant, I will say the reason all those chicks in the NFL ads are dressed like train wrecks I think is because they wanted to show case their profession with NFL stuff... seriously if I saw a chick even if she was a DANCING WITH THE STARS girl, at a game in a fringe cha-cha skirt and heels I'd probably trip her.

    Being a Vols fan I know you get it... there is a clear difference between chicks that LIKE football and games and tailgating and chicks that LIVE and UNDERSTAND Football, tailgating and football games. I'm a LIVE and UNDERSTAND kind of girl... Jeans, tshirt, sneakers or flops and always TEAM COLORS and logos is how I roll. Give me a jersey any day, and NOT one with freaking rhinestones!!!! WTF!

    Why do things for women always have to be PINK or Bedazzled... it's awful.

    I'm a Tide Fan, so clearly I get the whole houndstooth thing, and i get the dressing up for game day that all the cute girls do on campus, but I gotta be honest, It's overkill. I was happy I saw just as many people sporting Tshirts and Jeans as i did heels and dresses.

    SEC is king and the south is King of DRESSED UP FOOTBALL - As a former East Coast girl born and raised on NFL football, it's just not my thing. I can appreciate it, I mean it probably takes those girls forever to find the right shade of red, blue, or orange for their game day gear... but still...

    PS What about the chicks that show up at the game in dress clothing that doesn't even reflect team colors... WTF can we hang them from the goal posts????

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  33. I TOTALLY agree. I have NEVER understood the heels, pearls and dresses to football games. I'm
    exhausted walking everywhere in my tennis shoes, much less heels. Oh and combine drinking with heels? No thanks. Pearls I get. But with a t shirt and jeans. Glad I'm not the only one who feels this way!

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  34. this. is. awesome. i completely agree - these girls are starting to look ridiculous!!!

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  35. I like wearing my boots to games sometimes, but I definitely draw the line at heels. That's crazy! And I wear dresses too when it's hot, but I do not get partied up to go to a game. I'm just gonna get nasty and cuss like a boy anyhow.

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  36. Anything remotely girly pair with anything football is just wrong. No skirts, no heels, just jeans and tennis shoes in my book and maybe a matching hair band if I'm wearing my hair up.

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  37. I totally agree with you. I just look the other way when I see tight skirts and crop tops these days, they are seeming to be all the hit with college girls... Give me jeans a top and maybe a fun accessory like a chunky neckalce or scarf?!

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  38. Oh dumb. Just read the Glitter Guide article. I guess it can be a regional thing (like girls who go to southern schools), but in general, I think doing something cutesy like those Glitter Guide girls just makes you look silly. Part of being stylish to me is recognizing time and place and sometimes you just need to put on a team jersey or t-shirt and a pair of jeans and call it a day.

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  39. Never has the saying "No. Just ... No." been more appropriate. I can't even comment further.

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  40. A-to-the-freakin'-men! Why do women have to always womanize things?!

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  41. BAH! So ridiculous. Why try forcing something that should never be? It's like with hockey.. we watch games and there are always, always girls with their hair all pretty, nails done, SUNGLASSES on (sometimes) and stupid pink jerseys... in the crowd- totally oblivious to the fact that they have AMAZING seats, texting to their equally nasty girlfriends about how bored they are to be there. AAAACK!

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  42. P.S.
    YOU- I choose you!! I wanna tailgate with you.. "I wanna party with you!!"

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  43. Love this! I think someone needs to tell those faux-fans in the first photo to shop in the adult section because those look like 4T shirts they are busting out of.

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  44. I don't know about these chicks in vogue, but when I watch a game I pretty much get a work out from all of the times I jump to my feet, throw my arms in the air, and point like crazy when there is a turn over (so the refs can see me through the tv, of course). Would you wear a blazer and heels to the gym? No. So if you can't get some exercise in what you're wearing while watching a game, you're doing it wrong.

    BTW, last night I worked out on my elliptical while watching the Jets game, and shouting obscenities from the elliptical is maybe the most cathartic thing ever. Shouting obscenities is just part of the drill when watching a Jets game, but it's not often that you get to do it while working out and have it be totally okay. So thanks Gino Smith.

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  45. HAHA too funny! While I do like a cute NFL teamed shirt every now and then as opposed to a mans shirt I think the clothes in the pics you posted above are hideous!

    My inner bitch comes out at the stadium whenever I see girls in 4 inch heels walking to the upper level. Literally tons and tons of steps and they're in 4 inch heels and a half shirt - I've had 4 beers ( ok lets be honest 4 + a misc amount added but we will say 4 in the name of class haha) and my mind goes right to "please fall, please fall, please fall"

    Haha - I know it's horrible! But if common sense doesn't help these ladies I'm hoping gravity at least can teach them a lesson!

    PS - If this offends anyone reading - I apologize - really if you wanna trot up into space in your heels go for it - just know I'm really hoping you fall. I don't want you to hurt yourself or break anything - just ya know - learn an embarrassing lesson :)

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  46. Amen! While my sorority sisters at Mizzou were cutting XXL T-shirts into "game day dresses" (I mean - they do SELL black and gold dresses if a dress is really necessary), I was sporting Tiger Norts ... or jeans for the later-season night games. It's all about comfort!! And an expandable waistline. ;)

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  47. hahha! I'm with you girl, function with fashion. I love looking cute when it's appropriate, but it definitely makes no sense when you're at a sporting event.

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  48. Bahahaha!!! That just totally made my day! Thanks for sharing!

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  49. This is amazing!! We both LOVE our southern teams but love to be comfy. Just got home from the Arizona State/Wisconsin game and I wore track shorts and t-shirt. it was 97 degrees at kickoff. I'm going to be comfy.

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  50. I am WITH YOU. First I suck wearing heels anyways, so the thought of wearing high heels to a sporting even puts fear in my life. I would probably fall down the concrete stadium steps. THEN there is the idea of wearing a dress...or a short skirt. I'd be worried that I was showing my underwear instead of who had the ball. no thanks. jeans, a tshirt or jersey, ballet flats or boots, and I'm happy.

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  51. The only thing worse than these ads is actually seeing girls like this in real life at games. They may be color coordinated but they have no idea what's going on and take far too many selfies. Ew.

    Much rather be tailgating with you!

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  52. I love this,heels & jerseys don't mix. Plus I know the "Don't hide her, she looks like she is probably dressed perfectly!!" girl in real life.

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  53. I see so many girls overdressed like this at games, and within two minutes, they're completely bored and playing on their smartphones because gosh-darn-it, the game is distracting all the guys they think are going to want to come talk to them because, like, they're showing team spirit!

    I love me some of the women's fit NFL t-shirts, though, but those go just fine with jeans.

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  54. Omg these are terrible!!!! What in the world? I really despise women wearing heels and dresses/skirts at sporting events. Hello, did your man tell you your were going to a FOOTBALL game or a steak dinner? Geez. Also, I hate the pink crap. I know a lot of women like it, but if you are going to support your team just do it. Don't try to be all girly about it, I think its lame! I had a few shirts made with my bf's name and number on them for his arena football games and the print was sparkly. That was about as "girly" as I go!

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  55. As a cheesehead, I can only saw that there's no way that flapper skirt would fly up here in the frozen tundra. Well, unless you wanted perma frost bite on your stems.

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  56. I definitely got a good chuckle out of this! I like the t-shirts they are wearing, especially the look of the Packers one in the first picture (obviously it would need to be changed to the Seahawks!). I would never wear heels to a football game.. Your lucky if I a) leave my house and b) be in something other than sweats on game day! I'm all about the comfort, and the food, the beer rocks too :D

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  57. Lol I'm late to comment on this one, but like I said on twitter; on days when game day and church service coincide, you will find me wearing heels and some very dressy combination of scarlet and grey. I'm obsessed with nail polish, so I've done a game day mani before. I've never gone tailgating in my life, but I do consider myself a hard core Buckeye. And a kick ass pair of heeled boots don't mean I don't bleed scarlet and grey ;) I get your perspective, and agree to an extent, but fashion is if nothing else, subjective. *muah* Oh...but never skirts. No. Football is in fall and winter and this fashionista lives in OHIO.

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  58. this post made me very happy! I love my NFL but can't stand the "ladies" apparel commercials. I can't stand pink and pastel jerseys, bedazzeled crap. I only have a son now but my parents and mother in law know that if I have a daughter and they buy her a pink Packers jersey...that crap is going straight into the garbage.

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  59. This has been the most difficult thing to adjust to since moving south. I'm a team t-shirt and jean shorts kind of girl for football games, but when I show up I feel like I forgot my black and gold prom dress.

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  60. hahahaha totally agree! I love heels and skirts but absolutely NOT with a jersey or any other game day gear!

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  61. Are they seriously wearing team shirts with blazers and slacks? I just can't.

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  62. Ahhh but I like the 'fanicures' lol.. you're gonna unfollow me on Instagram when I post one aren't you? lmao

    I do agree about everything else!!! Pink jerseys have no place in football, your heels should be left in the closet and so help so should your make up bag. I read an article in our local Philly paper the other day (from an Eagle's players wife who has apparently coined herself a beauty blogger) with a list a of "Must Have Game Day Makeup" that also went on to promote high end products for everyone to see in your stylish clear bag....vomit. and I couldn't stop screaming at it "What the efffff do you need an eyelash curler for at a football game?" -- Even as a beauty blogger, it's ridiculous to me!!

    Those pics above? I can't...

    Don't judge me when I put my little football stickers on my nails ;)

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  63. You NEED to post a rebuttal somewhere. I would spread that all over the interwebz. Ok, that sounds bad. But really, it's for a good cause. The crap they expect us to wear for gameday is ridiculous. You will NEVER see me at ANY sporting event in any type of heel. Wedges are still on the fence but 99% of the time it's flip flops, riding boots, sneakers.

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  64. I agree that the "glamming" up of the NFL to make it appealing for the fashionista is ridiculous. I'm a season ticket holder and go to many games, most female fans wear the team jersey and skinny jeans with boots, if it's hot out then a team tank with either capris, jeans, or lulu's - but puhlease - leave the slut wear at home - not required - not needed.

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