Venus Trapped in Mars

11 September 2013

Boys Are Cooties

With my macaroni Picasso proudly in hand to present to Mom, and my Little Mermaid backpack pulled up high on my back I bolted to the school bus the second 4pm ticked on the clock. It was Friday and I knew that meant Pizza night. 

I looked for an open seat. The fifth graders got to board first. Lucky, I thought, “I wanna board first. I wanna be old like the fifth graders. I bet they are like 7!”

Age is a weird thing when you are a kid. As a kindergartner I assumed my parents were very old, 17 even? Nan, my grandma, had to be in her late twenties? Gosh, I can’t imagine how people live to be that old. The trials and tribulations they must have faced in the 80s. That big hair, those parachute pants,  no Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, how did they make it through?

I finally spotted one open seat next to Tom. He was the boy that lived across the street. We were in the same grade and he was at my bus stop. He picked me to play four square at recess earlier, so I assumed he was a worthy contender to be my seat buddy for the duration of the ride home.

Jenn, a fifth grader at my bus stop, sat behind me. She peeks up, banging her finger on my shoulder, “Pssssssssssssssst.”

Naturally I look back.

“I dare you to kiss Tom!”

“SICK no way! Boys have coodies. Leave me alone or I’ll tell the bus driver on you.” I said.

“I double dog dare you.”  Jenn says.

Oh no she didn’t threaten me with that. Bitch.

“Well, for how long?”

“5 seconds!”

“FINE.” One…. Two…. Three… Four…Five…

All the fifth graders start giggling.

That wasn’t so bad, I thought to myself. I knew boys had coodies but I never knew what they tasted like. I imagine a coodie tasted something like a booger. Somewhat salty, but with out a doubt they were green. And everyone knows that green colored things always taste bad.

I didn’t taste anything salty, nor did I see the color green. So thank heavens I didn’t catch his coodie. Mom could thank me later for avoiding that hospital bill.

Third stop, I was home! Almost pizza time. I get out of the seat and skip my way to the front of the bus. I hop off and gallop toward my house.

I quickly glance back to see if Tom has any nausea / side effects from the kiss, and I see his mom talking to the bus driver with Jenn.

“OOOHHHHHH youuurrrrreeeeee in trouuubblllleeeeee!” I shout at him.

Then the bus driver calls me back.

I walk back and Tom's mom asks me if it was true? Did I kiss Tom on the school bus?

“I----uhhhh--- yes Mrs. Smith, I did, but only because Jenn double dog dared me. What was I supposed to do with that?” I said. I hang my head in a dramatic shame. 

“Welll miss Sarah,  I will pass this along to your mother. She will be very disappointed to hear this.” Tom's mom said. 

I was not allowed any pizza that night and my macaroni Picasso never made the fridge.

Boys do have coodies and I caught Tom's. They don’t taste like salt, they certainly don’t taste like pizza and they ruin Friday night plans and over shadow personal growth and creativity.

Life Lesson Learned: Boys don’t have coodies. Boys ARE coodies.


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Now I want you to meet one of my ESPN sponsors, Jayne from Elegant Steps 
She was kind enough to answer a few questions for me about her business... let's get started! 
Don't forget to check out Elegant Steps on Facebook // Twitter // Pinterest // Instagram


1. What is your most popular selling shoe. What is your all time favorite shoe you have ever stocked?
Vintage is the most popular trend at the moment, so this is currently the most popular selling style of shoe.  From dainty 50’s styles to the on trend 20’s Gatsby flapper style shoes; we stock several brands of vintage shoes.  My favourite of this great trend is the Marilyn from Rachel Simpson.  It’s a stunning pointy toe suede court shoe with a satin bow detail on the front….and (ahem)…I own these shoes in every colour she has made of them so far!! Black, Mink, Ivory and red.  (I actually have 2 pairs in red...I do have to wear red with everything…and you can never have too many red shoes (or bags for that matter!!!)….I’m urging her to make them in Blue too….oooh blue suede shoes …..



2. Please give me a brief introduction about yourself / family
I’m Jayne.  I love all things shoes (obviously).  I have rather large feet…Size 10 (pretty big for a girlie!) but I’m fairly tall too, so I’m sure I’d look a silly with smaller feet (either that or blow over in the wind!).  My ambition in life is to find a pair of Jimmy Choos and Christian Louboutins in a size 10!   I’m still searching…..

I started Elegant Steps when the search for my own perfect wedding shoes failed, when lack of styles and sizes meant I had to search far and wide….giving me the idea to start Elegant Steps.  We are just about to embark on our 10th year of business and have evolved from the working in the back room of my humble home, to our first shop in a small local village…then 8 years later massively expanding into a huge warehouse with a beautiful big shop attached.  It was the best thing we ever did.  Our new shop is 3 times the size, so our customers can come and see an try the styles they like, and our warehouse is ideal for posting our shoes out to all our lovely customers all over the UK and the world…win:win J

I’m married to my husband John, we celebrated our 10th Wedding anniversary in May.  We are business partners and work well together as a team.  He also now knows everything there is to know about ladies shoes!  We have a handsome young 4 year old son called Simon, he too loves shoes and gives me my fashion advice for the day ….”wear these shoes mummy, I love those shoes”.    I love spending time with my family, cocktails, having fun with my friends and dancing, (that is when I’m not tapping on my laptop!)  My philosophy in life is to have fun and always laugh and smile as much as possible.

3. What is the price range your boutique?
I have shoes for every price range, shoes from £20 right up to couture prices. We stock shoes to suit everyone’s budget and everyone’s taste…with over 900 styles of shoes to choose from at Elegant Steps there really is something for everyone.  The biggest secret about shoes from my boutique is… they are all padded and cushioned and designed for all day comfort.  You have to be comfortable wearing your high heels ladies!   This type of comfort is just not available with High Street Shoes.

4. For aspiring boutique owners, would you give some advice on how you got to this point?
Know your market and specialize, create yourself a niche and don’t try to put your fingers in too many pies.  The one piece of advice that was given to me when I stated my business, your really do have to speculate to accumulate.  I am a risk taker, so take the risk and jump in feet first (pardon the pun).  If you fail, dust yourself down and try again, learn from every mistake you make…I’ve made loads of mistakes…but learned from every single one of them.  “In order to succeed you must fail in order to know what NOT to do next time!”

5. Who is your typical Customer? What does she do in her free time? What events is she attending?
We are suitable for every female customer! For brides, bridesmaids, mothers of the brides, race goers, party goers, prom girlies and girlies who just love shoes!  We cater for every taste, every budget. Typically, my customer is a fashion focused, budget conscious bride, who wants to shop in one place for all her wedding shoe needs.  She wants her shoes to be perfect as she understands she will be on her feet all day.  She wants her shoes to be a focal point and thinks of the fab photo opportunities her photographer can have with them.  She wants as little fuss as possible for her bridesmaids shoes and wants them to have wonderful shoes all dyed to match their dresses…..and she wants her mum to also shine by having perfect shoes and handbag to match her amazing outfit….dyed to match, of course.  We met her at a local wedding exhibition, where she visited to find out all she needed to know about planning her perfect wedding Day.

Venus Trapped

18 comments :

  1. YOU MISSED OUT ON PIZZA?!?! Stupid boys and their stupid boy cooties!

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  2. haha that poor macaroni picasso, that could have been famous.

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  3. Childhood innocence captured in one solid post. I love this. I still think boys have cooties and I'm 29.

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  4. HE MADE YOU MISS PIZZA?!

    and that pic of you in your pink dress is adorable :)

    -kathy
    Vodka and Soda

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  5. Haha so not fair!! Darn coodies!!!

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  6. haha love this!! TOO funny & cute! :)

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  7. if a boy comes between you and your food, that's a deal breaker! seeya never, tom.

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  8. I fully believe they have cooties..sometimes, I even use that line on the hubs. Works every time.

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  9. So funny! So entertaining! I soooo remember being a kid on the bus. I once, and this is beyond AWFUL.. but there was a girl on the bus that really annoyed me. She used to wear her mom's lingerie' over her clothes. (WTF was wrong with her mom!) I didn't like her and i feel bad about it now. She probably had a really hard home life. BUT I was a kid and I wanted to look cool so when I walked by her on the bus I SPIT on her. WOW- I know. I was such a goody two shoes..! It was so not like me to do it. But, lesson learned because I was nominated THAT day for the Christian Leadership Award at school. I was called in after class to be told and then they phoned my mom to tell her about my nomination. Needless to say- I OBVIOUSLY didn't get it because word quickly spread that I SPIT on someone. Not very Christian...
    I might write a post about this.. because it's good material!

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  10. I can't believe you got in trouble for kissing a boy even if they do have coodies!!!

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  11. This cracked me up this afternoon, didn't help my pounding headache though

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  12. hahah! boys ARE cooties! So true.

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  13. Traumatizing. I'm surprised you've ever been able to move past it.

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