Venus Trapped in Mars

24 February 2016

On Nearly Making a Massive Mistake


Did you know that two years ago I almost made the biggest mistake of my life? 

Let's talk about my main squeeze, CB today. I without a doubt feel like I've found the perfect person for me. Not only did I get so lucky to find the guy that enjoys everything I enjoy (minus Real Housewives), I am confident when I say that I too, am perfect for him. We have a mutual respect for one another, and a completely equal love. 

I think I feel luckiest for that last fact. 

Everything is equal. I couldn't say I love him more, or he loves me more... it is the exact same feeling from both parties involved. 

When I first joined Match.com (how we met, read this post for more details) I thought about what exactly I wanted from a relationship. The only conclusion I continued to draw was that I wanted a partner in crime. 

At the time, what I believe I meant by that was that I wanted someone to grab my hand and take me skipping through the streets of Deep Ellum, popping in and out of watering holes until 2am. If we are being completely honest here, I clearly wasn't looking for a relationship, but rather a bestie to party with. 

What I found on match.com though was an equal, perfectly suited for every single aspect of my life.... that I nearly passed on. 

The crazy thing about CB was that he was not what I thought I wanted. I've always dated guys that are well over 6 feet tall, and for some reason I was obsessed with finding a guy that was at least that tall. 

CB is about 5'10, I'm 5'8. I remember reading his profile and thinking, "Man he owns his own business, seems like he has a lot of fun with friends, big into being with family, loves sports... but he's only 5'10. Ugh.

Will someone please go back in time and smack me right in the face?!?!! 

I would've passed on the easiest, most romantic, funnest, carefree, deepest love I have ever felt, or could even have dreamt of feeling, because I thought I wanted, no - needed, someone 5 inches taller. Dear lord, looking back on it that is insane. 

On our second date while CB was driving me home, sitting in standstill Dallas traffic, we had what turned out to be a very important conversation. He talked about the way someone's looks, and your physical attraction to a person can change dramatically as you get to know them. Neither of us remember why this came up, but man is it the truth. Every day, every second I spend with CB, he gets sexier and more attractive to me. I can't look at that man and find a single thing I want to change now, because I'm in love with him. 

Proof that first impressions, like someone's height or their looks, just don't matter in the grand scheme of things, only personality and how that person makes you feel. 


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26 comments :

  1. OMG that's too funny. I met my husband on MySpace (random I know... and way to date myself) and I almost didn't respond to him because in some pictures he had short hair and in others he had this gross long hair that I hated. I asked him which pictures were more recent and he said the short hair - honestly if he said long I probably would not have kept talking to him! Crazy to think how that would have affected my life.

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  2. wow great post girl. although i didn't meet my husband on Match or anything, my girlfriends have similar stores like yours! Thanks for sharing and super cute blog by the way! Hope you'll stop by mine as well :D

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  3. This is so true! I've always dated guys over 6 feet tall (mind you, I'm 5'1", so girl needs a reality check) and I couldn't imagine dating anyone under 5'10". Finally after my last boyfriend (6'4") still not being a great guy, I decided that maybe height should be a little lower on my list and not dating an asshole should be a little higher. ;) So happy for you that you're happy!

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  4. Such a great story!!! Feel good love stories are my favorite and ones that teach a life lesson - even better xo

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  5. Sarah I love this for so many reasons. We let one small detail change our mind. when really, we need to just SEE. we never really know. two inches and your life changed :)

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  6. I love this! I think it's awesome how you two met! There is something to be said about finding a connection on a mental, and emotional level vs. just looks alone at first. I am all about first impressions and physical attraction but in the end... as time goes on... you have to have SO MUCH MORE to have a successful union! My husband and I met on Myspace.com - randomly... I was bored one night doing a search just for the heck of it... I think I put in an age group of men or woman - you know half the fun back then was reading people's profiles and looking through photos of strangers... his caught my eye IMMEDIATELY... SUPER attractive profile pic, and his screenname was AC/DC. SOLD, let's dig deeper into this profile. He seemed very cool, his friends left great comments on his page, so many sweet notes about him being cool, and a gentleman, seeing jokes between him and friends, he just seemed like himself... not the BEST VERSION, just "This is who I am... with a little flare take it or leave it" Well I had to leave it... he wasn't single and neither was I... so instead... I simply sent a friendly note, about his music taste and that it was cool... and a small joke. He then replied back and added me... we spoke as pals for about 7 months - meanwhile crap with my ex was crumbling... 3-4 months past and our relationship was heading south very fast... and I knew in my heart... it was over. I was thinking more about a dude I never met in person... than a guy I had dated for 6 years... (long distance and together in the same location, it didn't work for us)... we broke up... and I guess it was about 2 months or more later... I finally met my hubby in person. Fireworks, great times, I had found my match... The night I met him, I had said to my friend... "I'm going to marry him one day." I NEVER said that - my bestie even commented about this in her maid of honor speech at our wedding. I was fully in love with him mind, body and soul from the first few months I Just didn't realize it. He was so different from most guys I dated too - he had the looks, but I guess my lack of self confidence had me thinking he'd never want me... it was TOO good... something had to go wrong... well it's over 10 years later... we got married 4 years ago (5 this October) and I've never been happier... it's funny what you find when you're only looking for a companion to have fun with... you always find SO much more, if you play your cards right and keep a level head! I am so happy for you and CB, I love this!!! ox

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  7. Love this post!! I had to over look the husband's disinterest in Real Housewives too ;) Isn't it amazing what we feel is right for us, is the exact opposite of what ends up being the best thing?

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  8. I feel you. I'm 5'8" as well and my boyfriend is 5'10" on a good day. But the benefits are a guy who's super confident and doesn't care that I'm taller than him in heels, and kissing is easy - nice and level :)

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  9. such an awesome post. I meet my husband online as well.

    http://www.amysfashionblog.com/blog-home/

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  10. Funny, I have been looking for a tall guy for the last few years and I always feel bad about discounting the shorter ones. It really is stupid lol. The two greatest loves of my life were about an inch or two taller than me and I'm 5'-7". And it's so true that someone just gets more attractive to you the more you love them!

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  12. Isn't it funny how we could so easily dismiss someone amazing because of something so silly and unimportant? I'm glad you gave CB a chance!

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  13. What a lovely, mushy post! One of my good friends had a very similar situation, where the guy she married is actually and inch shorter than her (she's 5'11, not hard to be) and she had a hard time with it until she realized he was literally everything she wanted in a man and she wasn't going let something as silly as height proven there from a lifetime of love. Good choice!

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  14. This is so true! You're right-first impressions don't matter. :)

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  15. What a great story, and reminds me so much of mine! When I first met my boyfriend, it was him who was first interested in me. I had seen him around, but never considered him to be very much my "type" or even gave it much thought until we had the opportunity to talk face to face, when he offered to give me a lift home one night. I'm so glad he did this, because we figured out we had SO much in common, and connected almost immediately. By the time he dropped me off at my home and I got out of the car, I couldn't stop thinking about him! Nothing's changed today, that was almost 2 years ago now. I'm SO glad I didn't write him off immediately before having the chance to connect on a deeper level!
    thanks for sharing!
    xo
    Alex
    www.sincerely-alex.com

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  16. Isn't it amazing how much preconceived notions of what you want play into your dating decisions? Before you even talk to the guy?! I know the feeling here, and looking back on it all it's just so silly.

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  17. truer words could not be found, love that you have found your soul mate.

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  18. What matters most is that you found each other

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  19. I really enjoyed this post!

    Just reading every word that you wrote about your s/o just gave me chills. You have seriously found your soul mate and it's radiating through your blog!

    xo, N
    www.natashasolae.com

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  20. I completely relate to this! I ended up with the opposite type of guy that I sought out! Love is a crazy thing!
    xo
    Amanda
    www.denimanddaydreamsblog.com

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  21. This is SO cute! I know I definitely used to spend time worrying about height and age as well. My ex is shorter and younger (10 months, no big deal) than me and I would have NEVER thought in a million years we would have worked out for those simple reasons.... But here we are, still best friends.

    Girls always have these dumb checklists we need to follow and forget to live in the moment, with what is in front of us.

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  22. This is great! My husband is not much taller than me either! :)

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  23. I met my now husband at work 8 years ago. He was NOTHING like any guy I've ever dated and I turned him down so many times. Finally I agreed and went on a date with him to see Indiana jones (what?!) and had the most fun day. Now I couldn't imagine my life without him. It's so crazy how the perfect match can walk right in even if we try to push it away. Love this!

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  24. I totally know what you mean!! I almost passed on great relationships for tiny stupid reasons!!

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