Venus Trapped in Mars

04 June 2015

Warriors vs Cavaliers // The Girl's Guide to the 2015 NBA Finals

Ruh rho, a sports post and it isn't Fan Friday. Hide yo kids, hide yo wife. 

I have to do it though, because the NBA Finals begin tonight! CB and I rarely missed watching a Mavs game all season, and even got the opportunity to attend two playoff games. When the Mavs fell out of contention, I found myself watching and enjoying the playoffs this year. I quickly formed a hatred for the Rockets and Cavs, and a deep love of Golden State. 

So today I thought I'd do a rundown of the 5 Things You Need to Know Before You Go --- NBA FINALS EDITION.  I'm going to go ahead and warn you, there may or may not be some personal bias splashed in here and there. 

Who is Golden State's best player? Steph Curry

image via 
Plain and simple, the NBA's 2015 MVP is fun to watch. Rather than pump you with statistics (go ahead and assume they are insanely impressive, because they are) I figured I'd show you what he can do with the ball. 

He can shoot good. 

And pass good

And has learned to do other stuff good too.

You guys all already know who this is...

 image via

Plus Mr. James is no stranger to Venus Trapped in Mars, nor is his headband. Yeah, he's good, averaging 30 points, 11 rebounds and 9 assists in the Eastern Conference Finals vs. Atlanta. Yada yada yada..... If you like that kind of thing. 

Can you spot the bias yet???? 

I really don't like this guy. His name is Kendrick Perkins and he plays for the Cavs. 

 image via
I should warn you, knowing who Kendrick Perkins is really isn't going to help you be more knowledgable in the game. He doesn't start and only averages about 9 minutes and 2 points a game.  
BUT.... Knowing who he is will keep you entertained. Kendrick Perkins scares the piss out of me. Literally, they show his face, and a little pee comes out I get so frightened. This site even agrees with me.  
So I have a drinking game for you... anytime they show Kendrick Perkins, either on the court or on the bench, and you feel mildly frightened, you have to drink. You'll be hammered in no time.... and need a nightlight. 
The Cavs are injury riddled. While yes, LeBron is healthy, they can't say as much for their two other best players. Kevin Love is out for the rest of the season with a dislocated left shoulder. Kyrie Irving, the Cavs point guard, has been battling tendinitis in his left knee.
Kyrie, and everyone in wine and gold, say he's just fine. 
We'll see. 
Watch out for the refs. 
Technicals have run rampant so far in these NBA finals. In my honest opinion, the vast majority of the technicals called, were the right call. These guys are rough, and easily angered (see exhibit 3 on this list). The refs have been calling tight games, with many many breaks in play for free throws. 
Who stands to benefit from nit picky refs? Golden State! They are excellent defenders, and keep it relatively clean. The Cavs are very physical, too physical at times. Constantly sending Steph Curry to the free throw line could cost them if they're not careful.  
So now you guys are ready! Who do you have to win the whole thing this year? 
Game 1 of the NBA Finals starts tonight in Oakland at 9pm EST on ABC. 



  1. Ever since my guy's Grizzlies were knocked out (by the Warriors!), we've been pulling for Golden State. My fiance actually shared a freshman dorm with Steph Curry at Davidson, so he's been on the bandwagon for a long time. He's so much fun to watch (as is his daughter). I'm also not a fan of the Cavs, despite being from Ohio. Cleveland just feels like an entirely different state. For your viewing enjoyment, you should check out Zach Randolph telling Kendrick Perkins, "Hey Perk! I'll beat yo' ass!" then promptly getting ejected from the game.

  2. is today friday?? dangit, it's not. but it almost is. hahaaahaha a little pee comes out? that wins today.

  3. I'm from CLE and have met Lebron soooooo I'm biased too. But it's going to be a hell of a series!

  4. I haven't watch basketball in years

  5. I was all about some Steph Curry until he started doing press conferences with his daughter. Maybe it's just me, but I find it totally annoying and unprofessional. It was kind of cute the first time, but now he's doing it just to get attention--and he doesn't need attention. His performance is enough. Besides all of that, I'm cheering for LeBron and the Cavs. I want Cleveland to have something to be happy about! They've waited a long time for this!

  6. I LOVE Riley Curry. So badly, I want her to be the time-out show ;) I am totally torn on who to root for tonight!

  7. Blah. I gave up on the NBA a long time ago, but I was interested this season until the Clippers eliminated themselves.

  8. Some of us remember watching the Warriors win the championship 40 years ago. Some of us remember the days of the drug heads and the idiots.

    I am rejoicing in this season.

  9. I'm originally from Cleveland, so I guess we're just mortal enemies this week. Go Cavs!!

  10. David Lee, who is in one of those video clips you posted (the other stuff one), is my husband's cousin. So obviously we are rooting for Golden State over here! I just wished they played more around these parts so we could go see a game!


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