Venus Trapped in Mars

11 June 2014

Blogger Perks

I would by lying if I said that there weren't some pretty sweet perks involved in blogging. I've rambled on and on, countless times about the friendships blogging has given me access to, but today's post is about those product perks we get! 

As a lifestyle blogger, we don't generally get offered the free shoes, clothes, bags and sunglasses that the fashion bloggers get. Hello, I live for clothes, why not me?! Granted, I'm a cheapskate. TJs and H&M own my heart, but that is neither here nor there. Well, I guess it is because I've now come full circle in this paragraph and answered my own question as to why no one wants to send me that c/o Kate Spade bag... because I'll find it on my own for half price, with a red line tag to take an additional 25% off then use my card to take another 15% off followed by a $10 of $50 purchase coupon. 

Aside from my obvious yearning for boxes of Tory bags, Vince Camuto boots and Anthro fit and flare, full skirted, brightly printed sundresses to magically appear at my door with a perfectly penmanshipped, handwritten note that says, "These will look fab on you Miss Sarah! All of us at Anthropologie can't wait to see them styled and photographed on Venus Trapped in Mars!" I do dream about a few other perks as well....

Of all the blogger perks we enjoy, these would be unreal...




1. House Cleaning Service 
Things I hate more than cleaning.... Jessica Simpson, chunky tomato sauce, public speaking. That concludes the list of things I hate more than cleaning. I, Sarah Webb, would like to cordially invite you into my apartment to clean my 1100 square feet of space. I will give an honest, and more importantly fantastic review of your company. Because, if I know anything, it's that there is no such thing as a bad cleaning job if you're not the one doing it. Prepare for a sparkling (literally) blog review when you pick me. 




2. Pet Boarding
Let's talk about the struggles of being a single, two dog mom that travels semi-regularly for work. Although I don't go on trips every month, I go on trips, every few months, that last 10+ days. The cheapest place I've found in Dallas is $25/night PER DOG. Do that math, carry the one, add the five... that brings our grand total to $500 for a 10 night work trip. The pups' vacations costs almost as much as mine! And guess what? My work does not pay for my dog's boarding. I, Sarah Webb, would love to review your kennel services for my two pups Gee and Vee. They are good little pups (*cough* sorta *cough*) who will behave themselves and be good daycare attendees. They won't steal any other pup's lunch money, nor will they push the little guys into the lockers. So pick me, Gee and Vee! 




3. Gasoline
Would you like for me to review your regular unleaded gasoline? I stopped at a place in Uptown this weekend, that did not have a sign displaying their prices. I didn't think much of that until I started pumping and saw that the price was $4.59 a GALLON. What in the holy toledo scam are you running? So there is nowhere to go but up from that experience. I, Sarah Webb would love to review your regular unleaded gasoline. I'm sure yours would taste like a gourmet espresso in a world full of instant store brand decaf to my little ride.  



4. Pet Hair Vacuum
This is where we get challenging. I've never found a vacuum that works to pick up my pet hair. Actually, let me rephrase that a bit, I've never found a vacuum that works for more than two months. I have a white dog, and a black dog. No surface is safe. So do you produce (*cough* dyson *cough*) a vacuum that is up to the challenge? Prove it. Put your money where your mouth is. I, Sarah Webb, want to review your pet hair vacuum. (Unless blogger perk #1 listed above pans out, of course)











5. Keratin Treatment 
And I'm not talking any of this bullcrap nonsense you've got in the salons now. I want the Keratin circa 2 years ago. The kind with the toxic fumes that required you to wear a gas mask during application. Let's do a before and after. Keratin treatments are supposed to last 3 months. Well I've had one in the last three months and it was a load of dog poo. So slap that gas mask on and prepare to tame my mane, because I, Sarah Webb, want to review your REAL Keratin Treatment. 





6. Tickets
But I've been begging for this since before Johnny Football was finally drafted. I, Sarah Webb, want to review all of your tickets. Any tickets, to any sporting event. It can be your child's tee ball game, ticketz a make her dance



But let's be real here, I peaked at the Kentucky Derby.


What blog perk do you really want?
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62 comments :

  1. I'd take "wine" as well, is that an option?

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    Replies
    1. You seem to be a huge fan of football ^^. So am I!
      ---------------------
      Also check my blog http://bestcarvac.com/

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  2. There a website called dogvacay http://dogvacay.com/how-it-works. Not sure if you could find cheaper boarding on there. I can't thing of any blogger perks I would want.

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  3. Yup.. if they could throw in free butler service would be great

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  4. Cleaning service, for sure! I HATE cleaning. And moving service would be nice, too, what with my moving pretty much every 1-2 years. I should be the poster child for U-Haul.

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  5. Can I review expensive champagnes? Or maybe have someone come redecorate my bedroom? I promise I'll put up a genuine review on my blog. It'll be a hit!

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  6. you know i agree 100% with this! tickets being the tippity top of my list! also how about vacations? can i get one of those?

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  7. I love the idea of a gas review! That would be fantastic!

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  8. Festivals, Hotels and beer, wine and anything else alcoholic.oh yeah and awesome patio furniture.

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  9. Ohh yes, house cleaning would be great... and can we add car cleaning to that as well? Vacations would be awesome... and if someone wants me to just hang onto their cash for them and spend at my leisure, I could surely come up with a creative blog post for that!

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  10. I like what Linda said.. festivals... like music festivals!
    xx

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  11. Yes to all of these things. I'd also like to review things like cars, bikes, boats, etc. Even for a few weeks.

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  12. Oh the dog hair. Someone please invent something to make it stop. I am in the same boat, Floyd likes to dominate every surface with his black AND white hair.

    Ps Im still laughing about the pigeon...we need more details on that story.

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  13. I'll review concerts, flights, hotels, excursions. Basically can I be a paid vacation blogger? KTHANKS.

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  14. I will definitely second the house cleaning review!!

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  15. Oh the pet boarding expenses! And you've got TWO! just kill me every time I come back from a vacation and have to hand over my card

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  16. I want country music concert tickets!

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  17. OK, true story, I have a vacuum that totally picks up pet hair and it does not even break the bank (*cough* dyson *cough*). It's a Shark Navigator and it was almost embarrassingly cheap.

    Oh, and the blogger perk that I want? Art supplies, please. Do you know how expensive paintbrushes are?!

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  18. If i lived in Dallas i would dog sit for you! I know how expensive it is, its the same price around here and extra if you want them to go for a walk or be let out of their teeny tiny inside-outside crate for an hour or two of play time. It makes me sick. More sick than the volume of dog hair I have to vaccume every dame week. the things we do for puppy love!

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  19. Preach, sister! Why don't we go ahead and add cars, private jets, and travel packages to that list? I don't think I'd say no to those.

    -Lindsay from Dearest Darling

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  20. I love this!! I would want to be able to review restaurants. I love eating out and would love to do it for free. Obvi

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  21. I am jealous of food (and even lifestyle) bloggers who get invited to do restaurant reviews. Also, I don't know about your area, but I often see Groupons and Living Social deals for housecleaning services. We have maids come once a week (in fact I am sort of anxiously awaiting them to show up today because I am trying to get my puppy used to them) and it is so worth every penny.
    -Rachel @ With Love, Rachel

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  22. I've gotten (and I like when I get) things around Chicago. Like I got to take Tara on a tour of a brewery (read: we drank a lot of free beer) for her birthday because Vimbly let me check out their system :) A cleaning service would be awesome.

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  23. LMAO!! I really enjoy reading your blog :) As a fellow lifestyle blogger, I completely understand this. I think I would love to get to drive a new car coming out or maybe even get one of those fancy planners everyone else seems to be getting haha

    http://neatly-packaged.blogspot.com/

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  24. Restaurant reviews - comp me an entree and a drink and I'd be a happy camper. I would also be more than happy to review wines. And count me in on the cleaning.

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  25. First of all, I second dog vacay for the person who said that. You can find awesome people and awesome prices. Second, blog perks I want include: concert tickets, trips to exotic places, and restaurant reviews. Who wouldn't want to get paid to eat at someone's restaurant.....:)

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  26. I cleaned houses all through college. I don't mind. We usually clean a little bit every night. It's teh 15 min rule. Each day is something different. It works for us, er me b/c we are in baseball season and we all the hubs doesn't do anything at the house. (He'll admit that.) Also try Care.com for doggy services. We found some ppl that will come by the house and let him out for $10/hour. And they come with a background check too. Might check them out.

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  27. Have you ever tried having someone just walk the dogs or stay in your house, one of my friends has a sister in college (sorry in Florida, so it's useless) that does that, and like Jessa said try Care.com, just tell them you are a very popular blogger with nanny cams around the house, so they better treat your babies like royalty :P

    Natalia

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  28. Man YES I would enjoy ALL of this and then write the best reviews the blog world has ever seen! Keep the shoes and handbags give me a 24hr dog walker or a free blow-out and im sold! lol

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  29. Yes! Yes to every single one! Me too please?!?

    Also, I have not found a vacuum that works well for pet hair but I have found a vacuum attachment that is seriously a miracle worker on my couches and bed. Seriously, if I could marry this thing I would, it is that good. (I feel like there is a really good "that's what she said" joke in there somewhere!) I'll find the name of it when I get home and send it to you.

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  30. Love the way you think. I would give any cleaning service a GREAT review to come clean my house. I have really wanted some free clothes or maekup

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  31. Besides all of the clothes, shoes, and arm parties, what I really really want to review are transcontinental flights to beach and/or european destinations. AKA fly me somewhere cool every week of my life. Please and thanks.

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  32. Someone to do my grocery shopping and cooking would be awesome!

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  33. HAHA YES! How about a new diet pill? An anti-deployment device? Time travel?

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  34. I love ALL OF THESE!

    But I think if I got to pick my perk, I'm pretty sure they really, REALLY need me to write a review of the Georges V Hotel in Paris.

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  35. I'd gladly accept camera gear, free travels, a chef to do my meal prep once a week for awhile, or a free gym membership (or workout clothes/equipment) in exchange for blog reviews! So far I've netted a greeting card and an ebook.

    Someday, someday ...

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  36. Pet boarding is SO expensive (WHYYY). We usually find a close by friend or someone who's willing to housesit.

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  37. Let's see, I would like the fashion gods to grace me with their presence and give me a new wardrobe. That would be nice.

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  38. I know what you mean about pet boarding... totally adds mega hundreds to each vacation. I've had the REAL keratin treatment a few years ago. It really worked... no frizzies, but it made my hair extremely flat. No volume whatsoever. Lame.

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  39. hahah this is too funny! Having two dogs as well, I definitely respect the need for a house cleaner (we already have a dyson and they are FAB!) and the pet boarding. The boarding is one of the reasons we don't travel so much anymore, although it is cheaper now that we have 2 dogs instead of 3.

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  40. Dear Dyson, Please send Sarah Webb a Dyson. She needs it! She will blog about it! We bought our Dyson last summer and it changed our lives.

    <3 Jackie
    http://ournashvillelife.com

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  41. YES to tickets! And I've been wanting to try Keratin... but now I think I'll save my hard earned $$.

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  42. Id be all over that cleaning service!!

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  43. Love this post! Your dog is so cute hehe =] xx.

    www.beautyandlouise.com

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  44. Great post!)))))

    xx

    http://fashionpeekaboo.com

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  45. Tickets and vacations would be the dream come true review! Awesome post!

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  46. The cleaning the house thing would be pretty amazing..! Oh and being sent on FREE trips to review and blog about the amazing place I was just sent to.. that would be stupidly great too.

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  47. A cleaning service should seriously give you a chance to review them! Not that you're super messy, but that would be super awesome. I would love trips. I think I could be an excellent travel blogger, given the resources.

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  48. I was super jealous of your Derby ticket score!

    I would love a beach umbrella that doesn't blow away when the wind picks up.

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  49. I never even knew pet boarding was a thing until I saw it on a blog. I've been catsitting a bit, I assume people dogsit as well, but I understand being reluctant to let someone into your home like that. It's a good alternative if you don't want to pay for it, though.

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    Replies
    1. To clarify - I know a lot of petsitters charge, but many people do it in exchange for accommodation.

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  50. Anyone looking for a review of their luxury car rental service? I'd be okay with driving around a Mercedes SLS for you. Convertible is always nice.

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  51. I would definitely love a house cleaning perk. Or a personal trainer perk. Still, the few blog perks I do get here and there - still awesome!!!

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  52. A house cleaning service or laundry service would be right up my alley.

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