Venus Trapped in Mars

10 June 2014

Sitcom Fast Ones

You know what really grinds my gears besides when gas stations try and trick you into getting premium gas by putting unleaded in the middle? Sitcom fast ones. You know when you are watching your favorite sitcom, and all of a sudden some random dude walks in the family's living room and we are supposed to pretend that is the father we've been watching for the past 8 seasons and not, in fact, some random dude? 

If you can't properly negotiate a contract with an actor, or an actor has become too big for your little show, take a page from CSI's book and kill them off! Make a step dad. Make a live-in boyfriend. Send the dad off to find the Wizard, the wonderful wonderful Wizard--- I don't care. Just don't throw a new dude in the mix, slap a mustache on him, call him pops then call it a day. 

Also, while I'm at it, don't send someone upstairs to never come back downstairs, ever again. Where the hell did Judy Winslow go? Again, take a page from CSI and have her get shot during a routine bank robbery investigation. Come on people, come on. 

Here are some times I've stopped watching sitcoms out of pure disgust. (Total lie, I continued to watch) 

1. Aunt Viv (Queen(s) of Bel Air) 




2. Miiiinkus - Boy Meets World 
Everyone's class had a "Minkus" in it, so don't even try and pull the unrelatable character card. My 2nd grade class had this kid, his name was Stewart and he had a rat tail. So where did Minkus go??


3..... 4 and 5 and 6: Saved By The Bell

3. Where did Kelly go in season four? 



4. Ok but, then where did Jessie go in season 4? 



5. Alright, so Tori replaces Jessie and Kelly who are playing hooky for weeks (months?!) from school. Was it Screech's spaghetti sauce? Did they get sick from his spaghetti sauce? So Kelly and Jessie return from their presumed battle with food poising, but we don't talk about it? And then where does Tori go when Kelly and Jessie return? I thought she and Zack were in love?! Because Zack so rarely fell in love........





6. And where did Mylo go?! Was he busted with a small possession of marijuana in his car? Look, I related Saved by the Bell to Breaking Bad, surely I deserve an award for such a comparison?




Ok so maybe I just watch too much television. With that said, how bout season 2 of Orange is the New Black, people?!?! Lets discuss how strongly I feel that Piper's brother should be a more developed character. Like, really though.

Let's discuss...




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40 comments :

  1. Now I'm totally pissed off at those shows. How did I never realize we lost Judy Winslow? The Aunt Viv thing was ridiculous! Did they really think they could just sub in another black woman and make that work?

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  2. I never knew Kelly and Jessie disappeared while Tori was on the show! They got me!

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  3. ok seriously... i would get so mad. did you ever watch new girl? and all of a sudden "coach' is gone? and now he's back and it's suddenly ok? I actually did stop watching that show bc it wasn't funny anymore (oops). that whole kelly being gone was really really hard on me.

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  4. Minkus had to grow up so he could be Mouth on One Tree Hill! and if you check his IMDB bio, he IS going to be in Girl Meets World :)

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  5. I actually know the answer to the Saved by the Bell one! This is lame but I got bored one day at work and looked it up on Wiki. Kelly and Jesse quit the show. The had already filmed the last high school season, the one without Tori when they graduate. So in the Tori season we’re supposed to pretend that Kelly and Jesse are still at Bayside but they just have different classes than the rest of the group. =/

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  6. When I read that last bit all I saw/heard in my brain was "Orange Is the New Black People" and I was like all wait... whaaaat???

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    1. Lmao! I did that, too!!!! Even with the comma being there... fail!

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  7. Love this! I also didn't realize there were two Fresh Prince moms until I was older. I heard it was because the first one literally went crazy!

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  8. I loved when Minkus came back for HS graduation! Also a BMW, when Morgan goes missing for like a season and then randomly shows up and is all "wow, I was in my room for a realllyyy long time!"

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  9. Til this day the Aunt Vivs pisses me off! They look nothing like each other! And Saved By The Bell was a little smoother with theirs I actually didnt notice until I got older and watched it again lol

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  10. hahah I always wondered the same thing about Saved by the Bell. Where did they go?! And where did Tori come go?!

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  11. Tori and Zach were the worst match ever. I hated Saved by the Bell for that combination, but I guess you had to improvise when the two main characters disappear

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  12. Hey Sarah!! Omg all SO true lol!! Especially the mother in the Fresh prince.. its like where did she come from? lol! XO

    Lisa,xo

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  13. The Fresh Prince switch was the worst! I don't think they can get away with this stuff anymore.

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  14. Good morning miss bliss (the beginning of Saved by the Bell) actually took place in another state entirely! So my question is, how did this entire school building, principal, Zack, Lisa, and Screech all relocate to the same place at the same time?! I guess Mylo and Miss Bliss just stayed put.

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  15. My world just shattered--I had no idea that Aunt Viv changed. But now I see so clearly. These people are pulling the wool over our eyes!!!! Now SBTB is a totally different story...they pulled the ole film flam on us all the time. But that's okay, we still loved them.

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  16. Family Matters did the switcharoo with the mother, Harriet, as well.
    I don't even mind that the characters changed so much as with whom they choose to replace them. Like, there were absolutely NO other actresses available that looked even a little bit like Aunt Viv or Harriet???

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  17. Didn't Kelly leave for a "modeling job"? As for the others... no explaining at all. Although at the end of BMW, Minkus does show up & say he was at the "other side of the school"... which is complete bullshit. But for real, just kill someone off. Don't replace them. We're not that stupid.

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  18. Game of Thrones! (I'm surprised I'm the first to mention it) They just did this twice. The Mountain I understand, because if you need a 7' actor, you take what you can get. But Daario? They did not even try. (Picture if you're curious)

    I've seen Fresh Prince before but didn't realize how bad the Aunt Viv swap was. Not even close!

    Jenn | Business, Life & Design

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  19. Hahahaha you so just cracked me up!!!
    Yeah I like Pipe's brother I mean I dont know how far you're into OITNB so I wont say anything but hes pretty freakin awesome!

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  20. At first I want liking the OITNB. The more I watch the more I'm starting to like this season.

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  21. Aunt Viv always got to me. They didnt even remotely look alike.

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  22. I remember on Roseanne when the daughter Becky changes actresses, they at least made jokes about it. In the episode they were all sitting around watching Bewitched and everyone but the new Becky made comments about the fast one they were pulling with the new Darrin. I appreciated that they at least subtly acknowledged it for the audience.
    -Rachel @ With Love, Rachel

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  23. This drives me nuts, too!! The Aunt Vivs always made me mad....and I never knew the SBTB stuff because I watched it in repeats which was never in any proper order...guess I never noticed Jessie and Kelly were missing when Tori was around! The one recent one that drives me mad is Last Man Standing - they swapped out actresses for the oldest daughter and they look/act nothing alike.

    And this isn't really the same thing but along the same lines - the "new" Mike & Molly just gave Melissa McCarthy's character a total 180 in personality to capitalize on the success of her physical comedy (Bridesmaids, the Heat) - and it's like a totally different show!

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  24. YES PLEASE PIPER'S BROTHER THO!! He definitely needs more face-time.. I'm on ep 7 now. Cannot wait to get home and watch more!! (love the rest of the post, too..just when I read that final tag line I got all excited )

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  25. Exactly. Kind of like when Valerie Harper didn't want to do her show Valerie anymore, so they kept it on the air but killed her off and brought in the dad's sister to help raise the kids and changed the name to The Hogan Family. (I only remember that show because Jason Bateman was on it.)

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  26. Apparently there's a rumor going around that the new series Girl Meets World will explain what happened to Mr. Turner on BMW ?! But don't get me started on how many times siblings in sitcoms look different and we're just supposed to accept it (*cough* morgan on BMW *cough*).

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  27. I hate when they just think no one will notice. It makes me feel cheated. Also, I hated Tori but I had no reason to dislike her. Kind of makes me an asshole.

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  28. What about the older blonde sister on Roseanne..What the heck was up with that?!

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  29. Aunt Viv. I loved the one on the left WAY more than the other one.

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  30. I remember when I use to watch "The Bill" and they would just replace people willy nilly no reason why they disappeared they just vanished, it would really piss me off

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  31. Boy Neets World - Morgan, the sister, totally disappears for a season or something. Comes back from upstairs and says, "That was the longest time out I've ever had." TOTALLY different actress. They aged her up a little bit. I think they decided the cute thing wasn't working anymore. But yea, I feel you. My mom rocked my world with the Aunt Viv thing a few years ago. I was like, WAIT WHAT?! And it's been mentioned in the comments but Daario on Game of Thrones. Last season's Daario was WAY hotter. This season's... Eh, he's hot, just not nearly AS hot. Come on, Casting Agents!

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  32. Aunt Viv!!!! I was totally watching Fresh Prince today in our Volunteer Lounge and the first Aunt Viv was on there. NOBODY KNEW THEY CHANGED AUNT VIV!

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  33. This really isn't the same thing, but how about all of the good sitcoms from the 90s had stairs in the living room and the kitchen. Full House, Boy Meets World, Step by Step, Family Matters. Yet none nowadays do. OH and how about in Saved by the Bell, whether or not Zack's parents were married seemed to change a lot. Some times they were, some times they weren't.

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  34. oh my gosh this is funny. i hated the aunt viv switch! so rude. i just found your blog bc of shannon's tweet about us doing the staples fitness challenge. glad i found you!! :)

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  35. What about the Beckys on Roseanne!? I thought for sure you would have used that one as a PRIME example of this madness. Enough is enough people!

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  36. Saved by the bell was the best! I hated that they switched out Kelly and Jessie for Tori! Thankfully it was short lived!
    And I totally stopped watching Fresh Prince when they changed Aunt Viv! lol!

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  37. Do you watch Game of Thrones? How about Dario Naharis or whatever his name is???? Who in their right mind will leave GOT??? unless you are pregnant and left to have a baby. In all honesty I can't stop watching GOT out of disgust, but I totally dislike this new dude.... why do they have to change actors... why???

    Natalia

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  38. I'm a little sad (or very old) that nobody in the comments mentioned Colleen on Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman! She went from being blonde and average teenager in appearance to a modelesque redhead a few years older that they could write love stories for.

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