Venus Trapped in Mars

02 April 2014

Once Upon a Time There Lived a Dallas Blogger

Once upon a time, there lived a very positive, happy-go-lucky, fly-by-the-seat-of-her-sundress kinda girl who moved to Dallas Carrollton, Texas. With her computer and blog in hand, she left, not knowing a soul. 

"Oh, making friends is so easy," the girl told her smurfettes as she peaced out of Knox-land. "They'll just come to my window, ask me to let my hair down and we will head out on the town every night of the week!"


Weeks turned to months, and the girl had yet to have anyone throw stones at her balcony window requesting her presence for a glammed out night on the town. 

"Ok, but where is everyone?" the girl typed into her all-knowing twitter feed. 

Her twitter Fairy Yoda appeared out of thin air and typed in a private direct message to the girl, "Move to Deep Ellum, you must!"


"Deep Ellum? Is that where all of my friends will be?" the girl asked Fairy Yoda..

Twitter Fairy Yoda replied to the girl, "Click Here Click Here Click Here to claim your 12 billion dollars you just won! You only have 47 seconds to claim your prize." 

But the girl was too excited about Deep Ellum to click that poisonous link. Little did she know she had just avoided imminent death of her macbook.  Instead, she closed twitter and redirected her browser to the mirror mirror on the internet.

"Mirror mirror on the internet, what is the fairest Deep Ellum apartment complex of them all?" 

The mirror, better known in this mystical, magical internet land as Google, replied to the girl, "Would you like to perform a more advanced search?" 

"Yes, mirror. Please filter by 1 bedroom, 1 bath apartments with hard wood floors. I have two crazy little shedding Elves who live with me, and sometimes pee themselves" the girl told the mirror. "Oh, and a view would be nice.... because mirror, let's just say that based on my track record, I could be waiting for an eternity. I need something nice to look at while trapped in this 4th floor castle room, waiting for the Dallasites to ask me to let my hair down. "



The mirror led her directly to her new palace, just in time for another year to attach itself to the girl's age, making it far less likely for her to ever be I.D'd at the club again. 

Upset, frustrated and confused why the local Dallasites weren't flocking to her like Jessica Simpson flocks to cheese dip... she decided to take action. 

First, she cut all of her hair off, so she couldn't rely on someone else to ask her to let her hair down anymore. Next, she wrote a blog post, telling her imaginary friends in blog land that she was officially declaring war, and would be delivering a blitzkrieg on the local Dallasites in the near future. The girl was not totally sure she had used the word blitzkrieg right, but she was fairly certain she did according to Lord Wikipedia. 

With her only weapon against the Dallasites in hand, her hashtag #vtimbebrave, the one girl wolfpack is headed into battle this weekend. The girl isn't yet sure where that first hashtag will be fired.... it could be here, or here, or here, or here, or here.... but it will be fired and the Dallasites should beware.



To be continued (on Instagram).... 

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29 comments :

  1. And I cant wait to see where the hashtag lands you!!!! And umm you def could turn this into a childrens book lol

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  2. haha! i wish i could be there this weekend to make that wolfpack a two-fer. you will have so much fun this weekend!! I am sure of it. BE BRAVE!! :)

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  3. Ohhhh how I understand this post. I moved to Connecticut bright eyed and bushy tailed thinking of all the friends I'd make. Yeah, that didn't happen. One of my best friends from home told me that I should just pick a bar, go to it, and buy a drink. She said I'd be bound to meet people that way. I never did it, but in case your hashtag causes you to follow her advice, GOOD LUCK. You've got the whole funny thing going on, so I'm sure it'll work out for you!

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    1. Your best friend from home is a wise one. Maybe she is your yoda! Are you still in Connecticut?

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  4. I love this post! And as I mentioned before, you and I are pretty much in the same boat. But there's something to be said for trying new things! :D

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  5. I'm about to do the same thing to Raleigh/Durham! Making friends was easy when I was 7 so it should be at 26 right?

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  6. God speed, my pretty headed friend.

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  7. Beer fest and basketball, oh fair lady. #thismeanswar

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  8. Thank you for posting these events! I live in Fort Worth and even though it is a measly 45 minutes away I hardly venture into Dallas. However for a beer fest...well that is a different story.

    http://kindestregardsmccg.blogspot.com/

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    1. YOU TOTALLY need to come to Dallas this weekend. EVERYTHING is happening. And like you said, BEER is happening! :)

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  9. First, this post is so clever. Second, I have cray cray plans to move somewhere fun but have yet to do anything about it in fear no one will come knocking for me. Be brave!

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  10. Love love love this, even though I'm not a per se dallas fan.... ill be there saturday!

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  11. I haven't moved (at least, not since I moved FROM Carrollton when I was 10), and I still have trouble making friends. This married but no kids in-between phase is a little more difficult than I'd anticipated. Anyway, I'm excited to see your IGs!

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  12. I loved how you wrote this post! XO

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  13. Yay, can't wait to see where this hashtag takes you! If I lived closer, I'd totally join your wolfpack!

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  14. Great Post. I move a lot. So I can totally relate to this.

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  15. I so fully and completely know where you are coming from. Making friends is so damn hard. Good luck being brave! Also, if you haven't already, read MWF Seeking BFF. It totally changed my approach on making female friends.

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  16. aw hope you have an awesome weekend! brave you be! (Is that a good yoda-ism?) and I promise to stop annoying you with 1 million annoying emails!

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  17. I love this post. And those are some great events to choose from, but you already know which ones I would pick to attend. I mean, who knows when the next time the Final Four will be in Dallas?! Even though I know they're like archenemies, I'm sure there will be lots of SEC pride in Dallas. Should make it easy to meet people. I know you'll have a great weekend! And I can't wait to stalk you having fun!

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  18. I completely understand how you feel! I moved from Wisconsin to Dallas after graduating high school and didn't know a soul! I will totally join your one girl wolf pack ;)
    Megan Star | Beauty Brawler

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  19. Story of my life. I'm pretty much a one man wolf pack ( besides my hubs but who wants to count him?) loved this post!

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  20. I love this! I remember feeling much the same way when I moved to Utah. And again when I moved back to California a couple of years later.

    Good luck! I can't wait to see where your bravery takes you!

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  21. I'll definitely be putting on my be brave costume when I get to Dallas. I can't wait to see and hear all about your adventures! But seriously, why is meeting people so damn tough?

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  22. Ooo Ooo Ooo can't wait for updates!

    Moving to Germany, I did not have friends for my first two months here. The first person I heard speaking English on the public tram, I burst out asking where he was from. That strategy won't work SO well in Dallas, but I can recommend meetup.com and couchsurfing.com groups, as silly as they may sound. Also, does Dallas have those kickball/softball teams? A lot of my friends in Houston met some great people joining those sicne they have bar things after.

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  23. Hello! I'm not quite sure how I stumbled upon your blog, but I love it! I live in Dallas - I grew up here and I STILL find it hard to meet new people. I don't know if it is Dallas or everywhere (once you get out of school...), but man, people are cliquey! I think you're so brave and cool to be living in Deep Ellum - and I think it'll be way easier than Carollton to make friends! Plus, there is so much cool stuff going on around town if you watch out for it!

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  24. Okay but once they start flocking to you....no better city to have fun in than Dallas <3 Best of luck girl!

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  25. Sending you Zebra love from the north east.

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