April Fool's Day.
If the Devil had a birthday, it would be today. I don't like pranks, I don't like pranking, I don't like being pranked, I don't like people telling me they are pregnant when they are not, in fact, pregnant. It is just a ploy for attention. I bet April Fool's Day may have been a little more bearable before social media came along, but I can't remember that long ago.
Everyone's Facebook status should be ignored. I'm such a grouch, so this is the worst day in the world for me to be near a computer. Or near people.
Hardy Har Har, you posted on Facebook that you are quitting your job because you're pregnant with triplets. "April Fools!" Hardy Har Har.
There are very, very few things I hate more than April Fool's Day. Let's discuss.
1. Scary Movies. Particularly those involving ghosts, mirrors, night vision goggles, people with bloody thinning hair, babies that have scary eyes, babies in general, etc. and so on.
2. When someone I don't know asks me to take their picture.
Girl: "Um, will you like, totally be a doll face and take our picture?"
Girl and her friends: Adjusts hair, repositions themselves about 12 times, puts hand up and points at me to hold on, adjusts hair again, switches places with her taller friend.
Me: ............... Finally takes picture
Girl: "Oh, I didn't like it, would you mind to take it again?"
3. Ikea on Saturday at 1pm
4. Forever 21 on Saturday at 3pm
5. Mall Parking at Christmas Time
6. Not being able to Open a Jar
7. The other team's fans
8. "Uploaded by User" Pins
9. Bathing Suit Shopping
10. The fact that there isn't a "quote retweet" button for twitter, when you're on your computer.
11. When my brilliance isn't acknowledged properly
13. When those aren't the droids I'm looking for. (Just kidding, I have no earthly idea what that even means)
14. That 1 minute clip about 40 minutes into Bravo shows after I've just watched 10 minutes worth of commercials, to simply have to go back to watching more commercials.
16. When people invite me to play their candy farm saga on Facebook.
17. When someone invites me to join "birthdays" on Facebook, when it is in fact, the day of their birth.
18. Comic Sans
19. People who don't like Family Guy (or don't know that 94.3% of the things that come out of my mouth are Family Guys quotes)
20. Same Side Sitters. (If you don't know what this is, you are probably one)
21. One Uppers
22. Getting beat at Sorry!
24. iPhone cases that cost more than $19 - you aren't fooling me and your 1000% profit
25. When I accidentally say "You Too!" Enjoy your movie...
26. Accidentally liking something on social media from 73 weeks ago. Posted by an ex('s new girlfriend) Hah. I've never done this. I would die. Dead, I would be dead.
27. Showering at the gym vom.it.all.over.everything.
28. Dog abuse commercials make them stop. I'll give you all of the money, just stop showing these commercials.
29. When a 4 year old has more expensive electronic devices than I do
30. When this happens
31. When someone says, "You look tired" Well you look like crap too, thanks.
32. See Also: String Cheese
What do you hate more than April 1st?