Something I constantly struggle with is self-perception. I watched a show many years ago that I will never forget. It was about a girl with an eating disorder who struggled with the way she perceived herself vs. what she actually looked like. She had a beautiful figure, but she envisioned herself to be much, much heavier.
The doctor helping her setup an exercise for her to better see how she really was shaped. The doctor covered a mirror in brown paper and asked the girl to outline what she thought her figure looked like. The girl started outlining the vision she had of her body, and I my jaw dropped. She was drawing a woman's figure that was easily 40-50 pounds heavier than this girl was.
The doctor then cut out the outline the girl had drawn. They then compared the girl's hand drawn image of herself with her actual reflection in the mirror. The girls reaction was utter shock, and I think a bit of relief.
Since I got to Miami a week ago (holy moly, I've already been here a week ugh) I have felt like a giant. The girl's here are all thin. They are all wearing skimpy skirts, booty shorts and crop tops. They are so thin, and it makes me feel like some sort of gigantic gigantor.
I think many factors cause women to have a skewed perception of their body. These super bombshell women flaunting their sex sex sex all over Miami has stripped me of any confidence I've gained since starting this weight loss journey. I feel like my arm fat is just flapping all over our exhibit booth, I find myself layering on tunic after tunic after long tunic just to cover myself up so I blend in. It is 83 degrees and I'm running around in a long sleeve cardigan because I'm just so self-conscious and feel like a wildebeest compared to these glamazons.
And it of course doesn't help all the men, including all my co-workers oggling (I'm making that word up) after the girls, asking to take pictures with them, even pointing them out to me, like I'm one of the boys that wants to see some girl's gigantic rack and 38ft long legs.
I want to take this challenge right now. I want to see the figure I would draw if I had to outline myself right now. I hope I would feel that same sense of relief I saw in the girl's face from the television show.
Do you suffer from a distorted self-perception?