Venus Trapped in Mars

22 November 2013

The Girl's Guide to Casinos!

One of my favorite places to go is the casino. Here in Dallas, I have Winstar World Casino just a little over an hour away from me! They have everything you could ever need, it is the second largest casino in the world after all! From amazing concerts to a flashy night club, to phenomenal food, to a pool and luxurious spa, you may forget there are actually games to win money on! So when you get up the courage to sit down at your first slot machine, here are some tips from me to you....


1. Bring the amount of cash you are willing to LOSE
Before you head to the casino, run by your bank and withdraw a set amount of cash. Whatever you do, do not go to a casino with $300 in hand and $500 worth of bills you need to pay. If the number you pick is $300, just go ahead and mentally write that $300 off. If you come home with money, that will be delicious icing on the cake. If you lose it all (which you very well might) that is ok too since it was money you already spent. 

2. Join the Players Club
Every casino has a player's club. You wouldn't fly an airline without joining their frequent flyer program, you wouldn't stay at a hotel without being part of the loyalty club, you wouldn't go to Kroger without scanning your Kroger card.... so join the player's club. You'd be surprised the kind of perks you receive after just a few visits, like free meals, free hotel stays and free money to play with!  


3. Take care of your bartender, then return to the same bartender each time
In most casinos, you DO NOT GET FREE BOOZE. I repeat: YOU DO NOT GET FREE BOOZE. Don't head to the casino thinking you are going to play the penny slots the entire time while a server hands you free vodka sodas. 

There are two ways to get drinks at a casino, from a server or from the bartender. The casinos I have gone to rarely have a line for the bar. Stick to one bartender, tip big (30%+), and they'll take care of you the rest of the day/night. 

4. Find a game that takes a long time to play
There are many kinds of slot machines. There are the games that sparkle and shine and make lots of loud noises, there are the bright games with flashing lights, there are elaborate games with about 148 different ways to win and there are simple quiet games.

I like to find the games that take a long time to play. For example, at Winstar, there is a Family Guy game. Yes, Family Guy is my favorite show ever, and the reason why I initially sat down, but this game takes forever to play. Each time you spin you have the chance to get bonus games and bonus points. The game often shows long video clips as well. The longer you're sitting there, the longer you get to hold on to your money.

5. Find a game with only one payout line
I like the games with just one line to win on. These games are simple to understand, but more importantly, these games control your urge to bet more credits. The more paylines you have, the more money you have to spend each pull. 




6. The second you sit down at a machine and put your money in, think of the number you are willing to lose until you get up from that machine.
Let's say I sit down at a slot machine and insert $50. I tell myself, I'm only going to let this machine take $10 of my money before I get up and try a different machine. 

You gotta feel the machine! If you aren't feeling it, find a better spot before a dull machine takes all your cashola! 

7. Check the credits played by the person before you
For goodness sake, check the number of credits played before you sat down. One time, I sat down at a 25 cent machine. I put my money in, hit the spin button, and all of a sudden I was down $15. One pull, lost me $15. High rollers, NBD. Low rollers, like me though, $15 made me want to cry. The person before me was playing max credits on a machine with a billion pay lines. Whomp whomp whomp. 

8. Don't play anything other than slot machines unless you know what you're doing
I don't go anywhere near the table games. Heck, there are some slot machines I don't go anywhere near because I have no idea how to play. Just because you're in a casino and now have a player's club card, doesn't mean you're James Bond. 






9. Wear stretchy pants.
 Hands down the most important tip. 

 That's all I've got folks! Linking up with Whitney
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50 comments :

  1. Man, now I feel even more like a loser because I still have NEVER been to a dang casino yet. It seems like so much fun plus the free drinks?!?! This must be remedied asap!!

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  2. i'm not a casino person at all....until i discovered the Super Jackpot Party slot machine. i swear, that isn't even a casino game but it's more like a video game that's just so much fun!! i poured so much money into that thing but didn't care becasue it was so much fun!

    -kathy
    Vodka and Soda

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  3. haha yes all these tips are seriously awesome. now i want to go play with you. no really tho. let's go. i honestly did not think about counting the number of plays before you. or taking care of the bartender. you're a smart one, you are.

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  4. HOLD ON ONE HOT MINUTE YOUR SONG TODAY?!?!?!?!?!?! I AM SO PROUD

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  5. The most I'll go into a casino with is $100. I have that same mentality: don't expect to walk out with the money you walked in with. I've actually had luck on the billion lines slot machines. You know, for a spin or two. Then that third spin comes along and I've LOST IT ALL! I'll try the one line machines next time!

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  6. I love Winstar! I worked for one of their sister casinos for several years, and I always enjoyed getting to make a trip to see the ever-changing facade of the 'star. My favorite game is the one with the goldfish... no clue of the actual name. Great tips, i really wish everyone had that outlook/mindset and could play smart!

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  7. just don't become one of those PSA adds about the mom that gambles too much !

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  8. I love casinos :) Mostly I love them because my dad gives me money to play with. Which I pocket half of immediately 'Look I WON!'

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  9. I love slots!! We have a casino boat here Tyson is dying to try.

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  10. You are a girl after my own heart!! I love gambling!

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  11. The old women at casinos scare me. A) because they look like they'll cut a betch for getting in their way and B) I'm afraid I am going to be them in 50 years.

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  12. Great tips! I'm heading to Dallas in a few weeks and I may have to check this place out:)
    FabulouslyFaint.blogspot.com

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  13. I love going to the casino! We have the Indian casinos here in Alabama so they only have slot machines or computer games, no tables. But when I go to a real casino I LOVE playing Roulette... easy to understand and so much fun to play.

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  14. I am headed to Vegas in 2 days. Lawd help us all. This guide will definitely help me navigate the casino scene!

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  15. All so true, especially only bring what you are willing to lose. Last year in Vegas I discovered my love for the sports book. I;m telling ya, the men love a girl who bets on sports.

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  16. I have never been to a casino, well not to play slots any ways. I've gone for girl's night and listened to a live band! I don't think it would be a good idea for me to gamble.. I have a bad "this time, no this time, okay this time, I'll win this time" mentality.

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  17. Girl, I am PINNING this - I totally needed this one :)

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  18. Great advice- I've only been to a casino once and I lost like $15 (not very much, but I was devastated) Hi, I"m in college and have no money! lol

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  19. I used to live in Oklahoma, and every Monday night the casino near our campus would do ladies night, and they would give you $10 on a players' card. It was great, and we went all the time — $10 lasts a long time on penny slots! Then for some reason they switched to handing out $10 bills, and I think they lost money on that because people would just get their free $10 and leave, party poopers. I don't think they give away free money at all anymore, on cards or otherwise.

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  20. Look at you winning $1000!!! I hate losing my hard earned money so I very rarely go but I will play the slots. The booze was free at mine but I tip the server big. Half of those slots though I never know how to play! Good tip on checking the credit from the last player, I would have been so sad!

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  21. Oh I loooove me some penny slots, but I take the opposite approach and do as many lines as possible in a pull, but not doubling it or anything. It usually comes out to 25 or 30 cents a pull, and I love the surprise of having no idea what's on my screen until the lines light up haha!

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  22. Bartenders are definitely the way to go at the casino, I'm with on you there sister! I don't know how to play anything. I'm serious. I can't even play Uno or Go Fish. I usually stick to the slots because they require the least amount of brain power and I don't like using my brain on a night out.

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  23. bahahahaha the last tip....ROFL!!! that is hilarious!

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  24. I haven't been to a casino in ages, but now I kind of want to spend the whole weekend in Vegas...

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  25. Yes to all of these, especially #9..specifically if you eat the buffet. Do they have crab legs there, btw? And it's funny how I literally just heard of Winstar last week and started researching it (Chris was instantly sold on Dallas over Austin when I found this out, he may or may not have a poker problem). I'm glad to hear it's not some sketchy raunchy place like some of them can be!

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  26. HA! The stretchy pants are a must. I must admit that I don't play many machines, but I have had some good luck in Portland. They have the Oregon state lottery machines in a lot of bars and strip clubs. They also have the most strip clubs per capita. My friend's theory is that the strip clubs' machines pay out the best, especially if you tip the dancers well. It definitely worked!
    Other than that, in Vegas I like playing craps, even though I don't understand all of the rules. I usually have a friend walk me through where to place my chips and what to try to roll. It's a lot of fun!

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  27. So the free drinks are a no go? I've been doing it wrong this whole time! I stay away from slot machines and play blackjack. I guess it's really time for me to post the tutorial I filmed on how a lady plays blackjack, but I'm torn on whether it would be appropriate or not (I was kind of tipsy).

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  28. Great tips! I rarely play games when I go to the casino. I like to watch everyone else play or go to the clubs! haha... but I do like roulette cause it's pretty straight forward. My dad lovess craps though, I just don't understand it!

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  29. I've never really even thought about going to the casino, but what's hilarious is that as I'm reading this post - I'm sitting on the ground at the Las Vegas airport SURROUNDED by slot machines haha! I'd be super tempted to go try a hand (I have stretchy pants on now after all), but will most likely miss my flight hahaha

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  30. I like this casino how-to..! I am definitely intimidated by the casino. The first time I went to one, the person checking my i.d. when I walked in, asked me how old I was.. and I stumbled. (For the record I was 21) and I said.. I'm 20.. NO wait, I'm 21..! LOL
    I always act REALLY guilty even when I'm not doing anything wrong. Another example of this was when I got my tattoo.. I was filling out the consent form and it asked if I was under the influence of drugs or alcohol and I chose YES. They looked at me with eyebrows up and asked me again if I was.. and I was like, "OMG- NO! I think I'm just nervous...! LOL" Good thing I'm not usually guilty, I'd be my worst enemy.
    Back to you- Next time I'm in a casino- I will try to keep your tips in mind.

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  31. Whenever I set foot into a casino I start to embody one of the Rat Pack legends...my husband will tell you about the time I played craps for 4 straight hours because I was on a heater and couldn't be bothered to eat....meanwhile he got all kinds of hot mess from the free booze they were trying to ply me with. AIN'T NO ONE GOT TIME FOR THAT WITH HOT DICE! I liked your tips because I'm not a slots player (mainly because they hate me for no apparent reason), because they just don't make much sense to me. My husband on the other hand is lord of the slots and wins HUGE every single time, I always come away poorer and looking for the nearest table to join. I'm glad you a casino lover that champions stretchy pants, because it really is the ONLY way to go.

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  32. Love this! I work in the casino industry and see many people who don't follow these great tips on the daily....and then they want to yell at my team. not cool. We can't help it if you lose your money, it's a casino. It sucks, but it's a casino. We can't change the pay table on a slot machine. Going into it with this realization that you will lose the money you came with is smart and then YELL loud when you walk out with some of it...that's a win folks! =) Just don't pull out more money when you lose what you came with. That makes me sad. Thanks for putting this together - definitely will share this post at work. =)

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  33. This is awesome! Now I want to go to a casino and spend my imaginary money!

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  34. My only previous gambling experience was Vegas. Think about the look on my face when I ordered whiskey on the rocks at a casino at the coast and the server asked if I wanted to open a tab. Sigh. Great advice!

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  35. Ah nooo - well, you do make me want to try slots again but only if you play craps next time you go to the casino. It is hands down the most fun game. You'd love it because everyone is around the table cheering together against the house. It's a blast and your money can sit on the table a long time!

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  37. Haha, I love this. I live in Nevada, so there are casinos at every corner. Ok not that many, but they are everywhere. I can not gamble with my jobs as I am a casino regulator, but it is always fun to see and read about other people's gambling adventures.

    Danielle
    http://sparklesandlattles.blogspot.com

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  38. Stretchy pants. ALWAYS. We play blackjack sometimes but we always make sure to go to the dealer that has the best personality, it doesn't matter if there's five people or nobody, as long as that dealer is fun, we have fun too!

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