Venus Trapped in Mars

13 November 2013

About Face

I bet you've never been to the KFC museum in Corbin, Ky. (Consider yourself lucky)
I've said this relentless times on the blog, but for anyone who wasn't reading and just looking at the pictures is new, I started Venus Trapped in Mars back in 2010. I wrote sporadically for a few months, then became pretty unmotivated and sick of just writing about sports so I started another blog where I wrote about whatever the heck I wanted to write about. No one was reading it, and I kinda liked that. It was my little sliver of the internet that I could treat as my diary. 

In February, I decided to come back to VTIM with the intention of combining my love for lifestyle and sports blogging. 

It just feels like every post I set out to write has to be so grand. Like each post, everyday, needs to be some labor of love that I spend hours working on. Some clever idea, or creative topic that is original and unique, or else I've failed at blogging for that day.

I envy the bloggers that lead such dramatic lives. Those bloggers that talk about themselves and their daily adventures, or their relationships with friends, boyfriends, husbands, family. Those bloggers that aren't afraid to put everything out there, no matter how controversial, without fear of judgement from their peers. 

I'd love to share more about my world, about me, about the love I've shared, the moves I've made, the decisions I've had to make, the exciting times, or the great, life-changing sorrow I've endured, on more than one occasion. I'd love to share more about me, but that scares me. 

Why is it that we all keep our Facebook profile on lock down, pictures private, status updates limited to friends only. Yet we keep our Twitter accounts unlocked, Instagram profiles open for anyone to follow and so many bloggers are willing to put their whole life, their most intimate details on their blogs for everyone to see.

So here is my question...

Which would you rather read? A blog without a face, so to speak, or a blog all about the face?

Sorry for all the words............ I know everyone hates that.

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68 comments :

  1. I love this. I'm very open on my blog I think and in the beginning it scared the shizz out of me, but the thing about sharing personal stories is that SO MANY PEOPLE come out of the woodwork to tell you that they relate or tell you something about themselves and that is what has always encouraged me to keep sharing. I say go for it sista friend!

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  2. I'm pretty open on my blog. I share a lot of my life, except the extremely personal things or things that are about other people in my life. I like when people are open, because it shows they are real and relatable. I don't expect them to share every little detail, because some things are meant to stay private... you know? I like reading about people and the lives they live, whether they are similar or different to me. Knowing people can relate is pretty encouraging and a great feeling. Instead of feeling alone, you know some people that has went through the same thing or similar things or know someone that has.

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  3. Definitely a blog about your life! I'm so open on my bog and I don't regret it one bit, because it builds relationships with people which is honestly SO rewarding!

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  4. I think a blog with a face. I think people in general just want to know they are not alone and sometime the littlest thing you share tends to bring the most heartfelt responses.

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  5. I love your blog and the topics you cover but I think it would be awesome if you shared a bit of personal info too! You could have a nice balance between what you do now and more personal stuff. Deciding what to share is pretty much trial and error at first but I've found that I never really regret sharing personal things.

    And I love that you mentioned the fact that everyone keeps Facebook on lockdown but lets everything else be open. I never really thought of that but it's SO true. I just feel like Facebook is super private and I have no idea why! Haha.

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  6. Depends on the blog and the blog content. I don't necessarily expect fashion bloggers or interior design bloggers to post all about their lives - it's irrelevant to their content. If you were to post just about sports and nothing more, posts about your own life would seem out of place. But since you attach a face to your blog, talk about your personal love of sports and your favorite teams, it makes sense to post a little about you like where you're from, where you went to school, where you cheer for your teams on the weekends, what about your life led you to what you post about now. Personally, I prefer real life blogs, but only to an extent - I can rattle of 10 blogs that share WAY too much information, to the point it's uncomfortable.

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  7. this is such a good question. in my head I think i put a lot of it out there but in truth i don't. I can't. and i think it's good to hold onto some of that for yourself. to keep it private and just for you.
    this is so true " Like each post, everyday, needs to be some labor of love that I spend hours working on." as well. Every day doesn't have to be fantastic. because you know what, that's not what reality is.

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  8. Hey girl! great honest blog today. I think that you should do what makes you happy. If you like to blog about all the things that happen in your life then do that. If you love teaching me how to make pretty glitter for my blog then do that. I think each person's blog is so unique and specific to them. Just as in life there are people who over share, under share, and then those who find a good balance of privacy and openness.

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  9. I came to a point with my blog where it was hard to remain "anon". I wanted to share REAL things that were happening and keep it real. But it's scary, not gonna lie. Throughout my breakup I was terrified sometimes to have real talk about what I was going through. Scared to be judged, or just who exactly would read it who actually knew me. But the support made it ALL worth it. Amazing. I wouldn't be where I am without the help of my blog friends. That's NO lie. It's incredible! It's almost like a TV show where each week we learn more about the characters and fall in love with their stories - their complete stories. I enjoy blogs that expose the bad days too, because that's real life.

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  10. I like a little of both - and this balance is what I am trying to achieve with my own blog. I think the face brings the reader in and allows them to connect but it can't always be face and that's where all the other good stuff comes in!

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  11. I like a little of both because there is a really thin line between getting personal and waayyy too personal..Ive learned in the past few months to just write about what makes me happy and what Im comfortable with talking about..you're blog is def one of my fav reads.I say keep doing what ya doing!

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  12. I think a little bit of both is good, but I definitely prefer reading about people's lives more. It's what lets you relate to them. A funny numbered list is fantastic from time to time, but it doesn't make me connect with you like reading about your relationship struggles/embarrassing anecdote/fun weekend trip/etc.

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  13. I like to read blogs that people like writing (if that makes sense). It is really frustrating to read blogs where you can tell it is a chore to post. People that only do linkups, mindless about me posts, etc. I would take a blog that posts once/week and is thoughtful, even if it is about what's going on in your life, over one that is "So What, Wednesday" every week. But, that's just me.

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  14. Even though my blog is public, I'm such an incredibly private person. I try to keep my posts about travel and antiques and in the off moments when I do Q & A's or things start to get too personal I freak out and think about all the potential employers, enemies, or future friends that could be reading. Makes me cringe.

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  15. That's a great question. I personally write a beauty blog and have come to find that I really LOVE reading lifestyle blogs. It's just something about reading the things that happen to other people in real life that draws me in. However, when I try to incorporate my life (or a little bit of lifestyle) into my blog, I feel like it's all wrong. Like I can't get past this block that I have that prevents me from just letting it all out. My answer to that question would be to try and balance a little bit of both. Even though, no matter what, getting a little personal on the blog will always help readers relate better. :)

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  16. I totally relate to this. I don't have an answer... but I think you're amazing.

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  17. A mix of both things is great . It all depends how much personal insight you want to give . It really doesn't matter if you share tid bits only . I love to read blogs with a good mixture , getting TOO personal just doesn't play it well .
    PS : I never knew somebody could case on just a blog name. What.a.head.case

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  18. I have to say that I think I want to read more about you as a person and your personal life. I love sports -- ok...I like sports enough to be able to relate, but there is something so great about learning about someone on a deeper level.

    I have always been pretty open on my blog and shared whatever was in my heart at the time. I definitely don't spend hours getting posts ready...but I know what you mean.

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  19. I'm very open on my blog, but I also have about 8 people that read it currently, so I don't have much to be afraid of, I suppose. I love blogs that really "let people in" and I think that connecting with someone through their blog really takes that kind of vulnerability. I don't spend hours getting posts ready and sometimes, I do feel like I'm whiny, but... it's a blog about my life, so of course it's going to be about me. As long as there is content mixed in with the "about me" stuff, I feel like I'm doing okay.

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  20. I wish I could say, go girl, put it all out there for the blogosphere to see!! But I totally feel the same way you do! I can see why people might share a life-changing story, or a severe health condition or something, because yeah, people relate, it brings people together. But I'm pretty reserved myself with what I put on my blog, because I've never had anything earth-shattering happen to me (knock on wood), and I don't want to just tell people about private stuff just for the heck of it. I personally feel kind of uncomfortable when people divulge their marriage woes, for example, on their blog. I'm like, uhhh I don't think this is my business?? I think everyone has a balance about what information is shared and what's not, and that balance is different for everyone =)

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  21. I'm pretty open on my blog - and I feel like the posts that I'm the most vulnerable in are the most rewarding to write and also are the ones readers can most relate to. I say go hard or go home. Put yourself out there, you never know what you'll receive in return.

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  22. I love all the words!! Don't apologize for it. I get where you are coming from. Part of me really wants to share more (and would if the husband would let me) but part of me really likes that all if those little details are just for me. I love your blog for what it currently is. I don't need to know all of your secrets to know that I enjoy this little window. I like a little bit of mystery. I've noticed that my favorite blogs are all exactly like that. Not a lot of personal life, just a little, and a whole lot of amazing content. Your posts always put a smile on my face and I wouldn't want you to change that. Keep doing what you do best.

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  23. I think I walk a pretty good line between laying it all out there and keeping things private. I don't use Boomer's real name. I talk about my mom, but out of respect for her wishes don't post pictures of her. I talked about my divorce, but never the specific reasons behind it. I talk about my job, but don't name the company. I've talked about money, but not dollar amounts. (Although I'm thinking about talking about my student loans as I attempt to pay them down.) I love your blog and I've been reading for awhile, and sometimes I do find myself wishing I knew a bit more about you, but again its your choice as the author here. I think it all comes down to how you share, who you're protecting, and what you want out there in the world.

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  24. i would like to hear and see more about your face. but also the funny sports topics too. CAN'T I HAVE MY VENUS CAKE AND EAT IT TOO?!

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  25. Sometimes I swear my life isn't dramatic enough for daily blog posts lol

    www.thecrackedlensblog.wordpress.com

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  26. There's nothing wrong with a post that is all words. I used to follow the "every post must have a picture" rule until I realized, it's the words that keep people coming back. Some of my most viewed posts are those post that don't have pictures and they're the ones where I hesitate a little before hitting publish, because I'm putting a little part of myself out there, raw and exposed for everyone to see. But that's the best part about blogging... this community is so supportive and understanding, and there will always be someone with a similar story or experience to share with you. Whatever you decide to do, we will support you and still love you!

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  27. I enjoy posts with or without a face. I love variety.

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  28. I struggle with this everyday but my gut instinct is to always put it all out there and say what I am really thinking, feeling, experiencing in the moment. People will judge you and talk about you either way you do it... they just will. What's your gut feeling? Do you want to share more about Sarah? I am guessing the answer is yes or you would not have asked the question;) I for one say get on my level and overshare on the daily!!!!

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  29. i think you should write WHATEVER you want to write. seriously, try HARD not to care what people do or don't want to read. my favorite part about blogging is that i write what i want to write each day, whether people will read it or won't, will comment or won't. if it's what i want to say, i just say it :)

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  30. I think what you're doing now - a little bit about you, but mostly other topics - is brilliant. I LOVE the sports stuff, I LOVE the tech stuff, I LOVE the personal stuff & pictures. I have to say though, I am turned off by blogs with absolutely no face. I don't think you should feel the need to share with us unless you want to. Don't be discouraged, you're an amazing blogger!

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  31. My favorite blogs are the ones where I feel as if the person is talking to me directly. Say what you want, be brilliant, be boring, just be you and I'll be here as long as you'll let me be!

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  32. I think there are certain things that should NOT be shared - like an unresolved issue with your s/o, family member, or good friend. It will only make your life harder if you post about those. But ultimately, write about what makes you comfortable. If you won't feel comfortable writing about it for at least 5 years, then wait. It's important to keep your real life and relationships in tact, otherwise there wouldn't be anything to write about.

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  33. I like a mix of everything! Not helpful, I know, but I want to hear about the high's, the low's, see the pretty pictures, but get just a "boring" play-by-play of everyday life sometimes too!

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  34. There are a lot of new things I'm learning from reading blogs for newbies and blog books. My short answer would be, just do you. Be your authentic self and write whatever you feel like writing. I already had the feeling you did just that, with a humorous note which I love about your blog!

    The longer answer would be, the previous and: I think a bit of common sense and cautiousness come in handy too. Also please don't spill all your beans, leave a bit of mystery. If you think you will help others with your story go ahead otherwise or if you're not ready for other people's responses, just don''t. Keep on the good work and Blog Hug Nina Joy

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  35. I'm actually reconsidering how much I put out there since my ex just found my blog and is using it to cyber stalk me. Ugh, some people!

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  36. I like blogs when the writer is real. Sharing humor, intimate details, sorrows, all of it. It seems that when you do that people open themselves up more because they feel they can relate easily.

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  37. I love it when people get real on their blogs, and share personal parts of their lives. Mostly, because it lets me see that I'm not alone, that none of us is. I can get pretty personal on my blog, but there are some things I don't share, given that I know my sister and sometimes my mom read my blog. What I don't like is when a blogger is vague about something- like referring to a heartbreak in the vaguest of terms and offering no details. It's almost like when a friend says something in passing hoping that you'll fish for the juicy details. I say, come as you are.

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  38. I started working on a post with a similar theme last night. Putting it all out there is hard, but personally, that's what I want to read. I don't want the glossed over summary; I would rather a more personal look at one thing a person does or feels or something in every post. It's kind of cliche, but I think it's the easiest to write the kind of blog you want to read - do you want to be informed every day, or just get a glimpse of another life?

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  39. I'm definitely one of those bloggers who has the max. privacy on my Facebook page but I spill my guts on my blog..to an extent. I think there's a very fine line in the blogging world that we all walk with what we share online. However, I want to hear everything! All the things. The good thing about us bloggers is that we stick together, especially around people that we love! We'll be here no matter what you write about or how you write. You're amazing :)

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  40. First of all; I love to see all of those words. Not all of your posts have to please or entertain everyone. I write A LOT.. when I write a post. It probably bores half of my readers and maybe, I lose some readers because of it. But that's just me.... I write. I also try to throw in topics that people will find interesting and put pictures throughout that entertain.
    Anyways-- I agree that it is funny how I keep people away from my Facebook stuff.. yet I write everything out on my blog. I don't write everything though.. I have to keep some opinions to myself. Like how my mother in law drives me insane because she's so intrusive.. or how my husband's expectations of me make me mental!! But, I enjoy being able to say (for the most part) what I want or how I'm feeling.. It's a total release.. and I like that. If people want to read .. it's a bonus. If not, then.. go on and look at blog posts that talk about fashion and Miley Cyrus. (Not that I don't enjoy reading about M.C and her crazy life....)
    Personally, I really enjoy your blog. But if you want to share MORE.. do it!! Do what you want to do.. and if a blog post is mediocre, whatever.. You'll have another chance the next day to WOW your readers. Trust me, they'll be there.. waiting for you.

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  41. I think it depends on you. And your blog. Girl you have such a successful blog, so if not sharing personal stuff works for you, and you're afraid of getting personal...then dont! I mean its nice once and a while for us to get a closer glimpse into your life, but if not sharing every detail of your personal life has gotten you this crazy awesome blog, then why change your content, you know? My blog is personal, its all about my life, and I don't think I could change that. I love letting people see what my life is all about, but I think all blogs should have a balance

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  42. If I could pick and choose who was reading it, i would write whatever I want! I am definitely myself on my blog but there is much more going on in my life than what I share and what's the weirdest thing is that I WANT to share everything for my blog world but don't for fear of what the people in my physical day to day life will think if they were to read it! Talk about a paradox! i think blogs are like art, we can pick and choose what we want them to be and as long as they are genuine, people will like them because that's what stands out the most!

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  43. I think every blogger can relate to the “EVERYTHING HAS TO BE AWESOME!@!!” mindset. To answer your question, I like a little face! So to speak. I think to each their own as far as just how personal you get on your blog. While I enjoy reading about some good drama, I just can’t write about that stuff. But that’s mostly because a lot of people in my “real life” read my blog. That’s neither here nor there.
    I say show us a little face! (I feel like that sounds creepy.)

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  44. That's a tough one, I honestly can't decide! I would like to think (/hope) that there's a happy medium somewhere in there!

    Kristin
    crumbsandcurls.blogspot.com

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  45. When I first started blogging, a couple of years ago, I didn't really want anyone to read it. I just wanted to have an outlet. But I got bored with it and stopped blogging. Then I realized I loved reading other people's blogs and wanted to start a new one, and so I did. I am still trying to figure it all out, but now I want more people to read my blog. I want to share experiences. I want a happy medium as I don't want to put too much out there, but I want to document my life (wedding, trying to get pregnant, recipes, travel, etc.). So I am hoping it takes off more, but really scared at the same time.

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  46. I put a lot out there and not much all at the same time. You will never see a post with my daughter's pictures in it, and I rarely do anything so exciting I feel like I should share and recap.

    I try to generate content that makes you laugh or think but I still worry that people wonder where my kid is and why I don't talk about my family and personal life more.

    I think as bloggers we make conscious decisions on what we are comfortable sharing and what we are not. I love your blog and so do tons of others, you don't have to share anything you don't feel comfortable with we come and read anyway.

    Just know that as a group I've found that bloggers are super supportive people when it comes to those who put their more personal stories on the web for all to see. So if you ever do decide to share we will come here and read then leave you thoughtful heartwarming comments. :)

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  47. I struggle with the same thing all the time. I have gotten to the point where I just blog what I want and take stuff as it comes. Sometimes I feel brave and post about personal stuff and then other times I chicken out and delete the post!

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  48. I so crave putting it all out there on the net, but more than protecting myself, I feel that I am protecting the people in the stories, too (although really a lot of times they don't deserve it).

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  49. I'd have to say that it depends. Sometimes the stuff I see people put out there makes me cringe from second hand embarrassment, and not in the fun way. Other times, I feel like I can really connect with a blogger through her vulnerability. I suppose it's all on how it's packaged. The bloggers that are all about drama drama drama feel sorry for me lose me as a reader very quickly. Those who allow occasional vulnerability are endearing. I don't think you're the type to fall into the first group.

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  50. I like reading about other people's lives, and you know I write about my life as run of mill as it is but it is mine and I am happy with it. My life is an open book and I have shared the good, the not so good, and the down right embarrassing

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  51. I've been contemplating the same question in my head these days too! Mainly because I see some bloggers share everything on their blogs, and it makes me wonder if I'm being closed off or worse unwelcoming. I try to keep my private life some what private and share things on my blog about myself, but only certain things I'll go into detail. I do always try and keep a rule that I'll share what's comfortable about myself to share, and I'll try to leave my fiance or family out of it for the most part, because some people are more private. More importantly I keep my blog in the spirit of my personality. All my blog posts are written with "Jessness" !!

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  52. I like personal blogs best- either I can relate to them or I can't. And that's what makes it so interesting to me!

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  53. I feel the same way. There's so many things I want to talk about and have yet to post on my blog. Another thing that bothers me is that I find myself censoring myself too often on the blog. As much as I want to just let it all out there and tell it how it is, I have this god awful fear that a future employer/coworker will come across something and it will later bite me in the azz. See.. the censoring. There it is ha. But anyway.. I don't know why I have such a huge fear of the "wrong" person coming across my blog but I just do. I also feel like as much as I think this thing is a secret, everybody I know and their mother is probably reading. I sure hope not. It's not that the whole judging thing bothers me, because it doesn't. That won't bother me one bit! I just don't want it to hurt my professional life.

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  54. Totally agree; for awhile I censored what I wrote and then I guess I stopped caring and just wrote whatever I damn well felt like. I think I still sometimes censor myself (never know when Grandma is reading) but for the most part, I lay it all out there.

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  55. I am all about the face, open and honest and lots of pictures. I believe we are all way more interesting then we think, just putting yourself out there makes one an interesting person

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  56. I like to see the face and see the personality behind the blogs. I would rather see that then one perfectly put together, but I have nothing in common with. I just told my family about my blog (after 6 months) and was extremely nervous about it. I am glad I did It though.

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  57. girl you've got some good comments on this post! I totally feel you on the pressure to write something amazing. I think all bloggers feel that at some point, so we are in this together! I think you should throw the rules out the window and write about what you want, when you want to, and how you want to. People will read based on their preferences no matter what you write! You've gained quite the following doing what you do, so go on wit yo bad self and do what you want!!! :)

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  58. Oh guuuurl... I've been to the KFC museum!!! Hahaha... I'm gonna have to dig for the pics now so I can show you! I don't have as sexy of a pic with me and the Colonol... looks like maybe you got him to spill his secret recipe! ;P I have a facebook and instagram that I keep separate from my blog. Obviously as I grow more and get to know people better, I will choose to share it with certain people... I just don't feel comfortable putting it ALL out there. The reason for that is because I'm not the only one who is on my facebook and instagram... meaning I have pictures of my nieces and nephew and I don't think my sister would like those photos public. She actually has blogged for years and used to have a public blog, but made it private because there were people going around stealing pictures from blogs of children, and it made her VERY uncomfortable which I totally understand. That's the main reason. If it weren't for that, I probably wouldn't care. Sooooo... I guess I'm trying to respect everyone else's privacy. Does that make sense??

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  59. If you have something to get off your chest, do it! If you have something silly to share, do that too! I've loved being a follower and I feel that vulnerability is such a powerful feeling - and to be able to share what is really on your mind (words only!) can be pretty therapeutic too! Do you, Sarah!

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  60. I like it all... The sports, the tech and the personal!!! I'd love to read more personal posts with a face so to speak ;) Those are ones I LOVE to read, which is funny because it's so not how my blog is.

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  61. I think I prefer a blog with a face, that way I can get to know the blogger better. When I first started back up blogging I wanted to keep it more private with few details I feel less personal. I am horrible at actually keeping it that way, and more than likely I would let something slip before too long. It was too hard for me to be that private and to not share. I think, essentially, it is up to the blogger and how comfortable they feel.

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  62. I think it's a combination of both. While I don't need to know every last detail of your life, my favorite posts are normally the ones that really show who a person is. I tend to lose interest if I begin to feel like I don't really know the blogger that I'm reading every single day.

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  63. I totally agree. It's hard for me to talk about personal stuff or be vulnerable on my blog. I think it's more because I don't know who's reading it that makes me uneasy about putting it all out there. Even though I'm so over it, my facebook is on complete lock down. But I'm also private on twitter and instagram. I've been seriously considering becoming unprivate on twitter because I think it would be more beneficial, but I also feel like you lose control over who exactly can see what you're posting. Right now I feel in control and know who's seeing what I say, ya know!!! Social media and the internet is weird and scary! ahhhhh life. haha

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  64. I personally like reading about the person, and get to know them, but you should write about what YOU want! That's what blogging is all about!

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  65. I think I would read your blog either way! Its fun to learn more about the bloggers we follow because we can't always meet in person, but you should only share what you feel comfortable sharing. You are fabulous either way :-)

    -AJ
    FitTravelerAJ.com

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  66. With me you get the way that I am 24/7 regardless if it's on social networking, blog, or in person. I never had a problem letting people add me on facebook. As long as they aren't government officials or my boss. Feel free to enter the crazy https://www.facebook.com/quietriotooooh

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  67. I think I'm very in the middle. My Twitter and Instagram accounts are wide open for public consumption. Facebook is not. Certain things go certain places. My blog is somewhat public. I feel like people know a lot about me, but I don't get too personal. I personally don't like a faceless blog. Am I too nosy? I don't know. You have to be really entertaining to not have any personal stuff out there. Even though you don't get deep, I still get a good sense of who you are, what you like and what you don't like. Your blog is one of my must reads. Does this help? Should I shut up now? HA!

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  68. W00t look at me all late to the party. But I'd love to see more of whatever you feel like to posting.

    And I ended up posting about your post. So. Yeah...
    http://ehmkay.blogspot.com/2013/11/pic-only-tangentially-related.html

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