Venus Trapped in Mars

02 July 2013

Checklist for a Killer 4th of July!

I live in Texas, I'm allowed to do a post like this. 


Otherwise, people may not believe you are American (and an idiot.)
Here are your choices this year:
And post them all to instagram so that we can all see the gigantic cloud of smoke with a hint of firework. Thank goodness you took these and posted them, none of us have ever seen fireworks before.
Let's face it, no one is playing Lil Wayne and 2 Chainz on July 4th. They are playing all of your parent's, "Good Ole Boy" music. 

Maybe even practice a dance in the mirror with lots of snapping on July 3rd. 

Here are some songs you may hear, if you want to prepare yourself...
Or do some finger snapping and bobbing back and forth...
p.s. this is actually not a bad playlist, I personally enjoy snapping. 



Happy almost July 4th from TEXAS Y'ALL!!

Venus Trapped

50 comments :

  1. So many lols. I will also make sure to record the whole fire work show instead of enjoying it since I'll probably watch the video over and over again throughout the year!! :P

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  2. I'll take a picture of me dressed in my 'murica flag get up just for you... a whole selfie photo shoot with the firework clouds in the background! ;)

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  3. this is exactly what I'll be doing, except on July 6, for our annual "America, Fuck Yea!" party.

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  4. HAHA at the terrible fireworks photos! My phone is filled with them. And it's all Bud heavy all day for this girl on the 4th :)

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  5. ahah you are a funny little thing! Thank you for that will ferrel pic too, i think my eyes are sunburned now.

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  6. Love this post. HAPPY 4th.

    I'm dreading everybody's fireworks pics. Ugh.

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  7. That picture of you dressed in flag stuff is by far the best composite I've ever seen. You. Are. Talented. I salute you and your Americanness.

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  8. HAHA this is exactly what I'm planning on doing! Except the beer of course- not quite of age. I think we all need to get sunburned like Will Ferrell.

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  9. I love when someone shares a spectacular fireworks photo, and by someone I mean one of my friends that is a photographer. The other 2983492387492374934 photos of blurry lights against a dark back drop on my IG feed? No.

    I need to get me some 'Merican flag beer. Or tie a bandana around the Blue Moon in the fridge.

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  10. The firework clouds on Instagram are already coming out. I cringe a little every time!

    I however usually have my one Budweiser a year on the 4th of July, just so I can drink out of the 'Murican can. Hanging my head in shame now..

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  11. My best friend took 379422 pictures of fireworks with her phone and they all sucked. I wanted to strangle her for posting all of them on fb and Instagram.

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  12. I need one of those flasks.... Also, is it sad that I know all the songs on that playlist?

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  13. Fabulous post as always....I will be drinking margaritas in an american koozie....go AMURRRRICA!!!!

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  14. I've got my 'Merica mani all done...I've only had a sunburn once in my life....and I'm lame I actually know those songs....oh and I don't really drink beer....if I put vodka in an American flag coozie thing will that cover it?

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  15. haha PERFECT. your playlist almost matches mine :)

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  16. pahahahaha <3 <3 will be attempting all of this possible in germany

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  17. This whole post made me laugh. I love it!

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  18. All of these things are so accurate, my favorite is drinking out of beer with an american flag label on it, YEAH 'MURICA!

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  19. This year's fireworks mix in TN included Kid Rock's Born Free. It's the new anthem in case you hadn't heard.

    LOL LMAO *snort*

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  20. PS - I love that when I leave a comment Chipper Jones' hot face is right there next to the box.

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  21. You're hilarious!!! I love it. And totally agree with Misty ... love me some Chipper Jones!

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  22. Happy 4th!!!Love the Texas edition but I hope everyone rocks out in all American gear!

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  23. Don't mind me, I'll just be creeping on your 4th of July playlist instead of making my own. Thank you thank you. That sunburn picture makes me hurt just looking at it.

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  24. Classic! I plan on being shitfaced in Nashville, hahaha!

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  25. so all those flasks in your last picture you should attach hooks to, fill with booze, and then hang them from that outfit. then you're prepared. which is 100% AMERICAN (kind of?).

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  26. Loved! Just came across your blog, loving it! Happy 4th : )

    Sydney

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  27. Yes, Yes, Yes, and Yes!! 'Merica!

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  28. The only day of the year I drink Bud heavy is on the 4th of July, which is probably contributory to the reason the 5th of July is one of my worst hangover days. I hope you're ready to see many blurry, smoked firework pictures from me.

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  29. I do believe its mandatory to wear red white and blue as much as possible this weekend! Get it!

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  30. Oh my goodness. I will make sure to do all of these things! I don't want anyone to questions my patriotism!

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  31. Living in Texas pretty much excuses us from any form of criticism of our partying ways. just saying

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  32. Hahaha, this is awesome! You crack me up like no other, Sarah.

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  33. I just make a playlist for my work Independence Day Lunch tomorrow, titled it 'Merica, and included almost all the America songs you did. And now I want to go add Sweet Caroline, because why not?

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  34. Um can I just say I love this post? Too funny!

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  35. But what if I don't do any of these things on 4th of July? I'm the worst American because I actually don't even like this holiday... I know I know. But fireworks usually involve being outdoors a lot and then I'm hot and sweaty and get bug bites. You will probably find me at a pool and then enjoying a hot dog. Yes, you forgot the most American thing to do on 4th of July.. EAT A HOTDOG!

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  36. So funny! Sounds exactly like my 4th of July holidays. American Flag cutoffs are a mandatory item of clothing and should be worn all day long (except when taken off to showcase the American Flag bikini at the lake).

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  37. Yay!!!! Now I know what to pack for Florida! Silly sunscreen! I don't need it!

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  38. I may or may not snap way more than is socially acceptable...

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  39. not enough flags on that last picture. i can't even consider you amurican right now because of it.

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  40. So is it sad that I actually know all of those songs and the words to 90% of them? Ha ha! I grew up with the oldies and still love em :D

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  41. Basically this is the best Fourth of July celebration I've ever seen. I'll get right on those hot American shoes, but I do have to draw the line on the flag beer.

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  42. You know what I have been thinking lately that I would like to drink eat Americian food on the 4th July and Canadian food on the 1st July I did have Canadian bacon on the first that counts doesn't it...........I don't know if the British have a national day they do have the Queen's Bithday but us Aussies also celebrate the Queen's birthday as she is our queen too......

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  43. haha! The sunburns are definitely coming--but I don't think I'll be participating in being sunburned this year--sorry, it's too hard to get over!

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  44. Oh man, I'm so not ready for the awesome sunburn I'm going to get. Yay for vampire white legs!

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  45. Perfect! My husband bought 4 cases of American beer last night so we are READY! AND! We are spending the weekend with 8 of our buddies from Dallas so I think we've got this one in the bag!

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  46. You nailed it and some! I'm ready to get my beer and rock n roll on like the true 'Murican I am!

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  47. I am guilty of the instagram/fireworks photo...but then I realize how terrible they look regardless of the filter you use. I may or may not have an american flag tank top from Old Navy too.

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  48. I just washed my festive shirt for the 4th and the colors bled! I'm soooo mad. I thought about wearing it anyways, but still want to take it back for the principle. We shall see!

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