Venus Trapped in Mars

18 October 2016

The Dark Side of Dallas


You know in the cartoons when the character gets so mad that their head turns blood red and then just pops off and explodes like a balloon, or steam streams out of their ears? As of late, maybe the last year or so, that has been me. Every little thing makes me so angry and I'm not sure where all of this is coming from. I'm either just a total grouch or a total bitch, and these feelings will blindside me like a ton of bricks.

It is odd, I've never had any kind of anger management problems before. People don't make me mad, I don't usually care about most things that anger most people. Lately though, lately I've just been losing my cool. 

Recently, I had a revelation as to where all of this has stemmed from. 

As boring as this is talking about traffic patterns, I'm going to do it anyway.......

There is this lane in our neighborhood that is more than wide enough for a car to drive down, but technically it is not a through turning lane. EVERYONE attempting to get on the highway though, uses it as a turning lane during rush hour. 

In fact, it is so widely used as a turning lane that if I DID NOT use it, I would probably get hit trying to merge over last minute. So down that lane I go this morning and this mini cooper darts halfway in my lane and stops. I slam on my breaks. Thinking they didn't see me, I simply pause to let them get on over. 

Mini cooper then gets back in her lane. 

Umm... ok. I attempt to go down the lane to the highway again. 

Mini cooper does it again, blocking me and everyone behind from traveling down the lane. It then occurs to me, this girl is doing this for sport. She is keeping me from traveling down this lane because she has nothing better to do with her time. 

Cars behind me start laying on the horn because NOW I AM THE BAD GUY blocking traffic. Much to CB's dismay (we carpool, thank god), I take the tiny sliver of lane left and squeeze by her. 

I look over and she is giving me the middle finger. Now, everyone has a line that they'll draw, something that they'll never do, a cuss word they'll never say. Mine is giving someone the middle finger. I would never do that, mostly because I am fond of not getting shot by another driver. 

Well she made me so mad that I gave her the middle finger back and it was that very moment I realized where my new found anger problems are coming from. 

This mini cooper.  This mini cooper metaphor for Dallas traffic. 

Dallas traffic changes a person, it hardens them. It gives you turrets. It puts you in such a horrific mood that you're unable to shake it for the rest of the day.

What causes someone to be so angry and aggressive that you need to block people going down a turning lane that has absolutely NOTHING to do with the direction you're going? 

If you think I'm making a big joke with this post, I'm not. I'm honestly worried that this anger that I build up every morning after facing both aggressive and non-aggressive drivers alike, is changing me for the worse. 

Similar to allergies, I never had road rage before arriving in Dallas. I'm sure October is too early to make New Year's Resolutions, but let this be the day that I admit I have an anger problem and I'm going to change. 

Maybe I leave for work earlier. Maybe I start listening to soothing jazz rather than Ludacris Move Bitch Get Out the Way. Maybe I keep a paper bag in the car and breathe slowly in and out of it whenever a Mini Cooper blocks a lane that has nothing to do with her.

I'm not sure yet, but I'll have you know that I sure as heck am going to be working on this. If you have any tips (again, I'm really not joking here) on working through anger management, I'm all ears! 
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