Venus Trapped in Mars

22 July 2016

The 5 Things You Need to Know Before You Go

It's a dark, dark morning for the blog world because HASHTAGS HAVEN'T BEEN WORKING FOR THE PAST 24 HOURS OMFGSDFSDFSDFDDFDDFDSDG!!!!  

DID YOU HEAR ME? NO HASHTAGS!!!!!!

To directly quote someone that I don't know at all, "This is an absolute nightmare."

Y'all we gotta laugh at ourselves, how ridiculous do we sound? It's not that big of a deal. I read posts about people asking if they should take their photo down because they felt like it was such a waste of a great picture. I'm not judging, I get it, obviously I use hashtags. Just have a giggle from time to time about it, when you do you'll make your life a lot easier!

On to bigger and better things.... like these 5 Things You Need to Know Before You GO!









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Ray Rice went on the record saying if he could get back on an NFL roster, then he would be willing to donate his entire 2016 salary to domestic violence programs. Now you guys know my feelings on Ray Rice, but wait a second here. Should a team sign him, I would imagine he would still command a somewhat decent salary, certainly 6 figures, maybe even 7? 


Would that be the worst thing in the world? First, and less importantly, we have disgusting douche nozzles like Greg A-Hole Hardy playing in the league. Ray Rice seems to show genuine remorse and even has gone so far as to be a public advocate against domestic violence. 

Second, and most important, think about what that kind of money would do for these organizations that help victims of domestic violence. Think what 7 figures could do for these women and children. I'm surprised I'm saying this, but I think Ray Rice deserves a second chance and that these women and children deserve his 2016 salary. 

What do you think?



Rio Olympics have already SET A RECORD, but it might not be a record you will guess. A record setting number of CONDOMS have been sent to RIO's Olympic Village. For those who don't know, the Olympics have a reputation for just being a sex free for all. In London, there was a report that Grindr actually crashed from overuse. Tinder is apparently out of control and chocked full of thousands of athletes trying to hook up with each other.

Here is a direct ESPN walk of shame quote from American Target Shooter Josh Lakatos, "Swear to god, the entire women's 4x100 relay team of some Scandinavian-looking country walks out of the house, followed by boys from our side. And I'm just going, 'Holy crap, we'd watched these girls run the night before.'"

Curious. Most curious.

Here are the numbers:
350,000 male condoms
100,000 female condoms
175,000 packets of lube

I'm giggling over here, for the record.



Check out Cam's Volleyball skillzzzzzz...
Or, maybe not.


Two time Masters Winner Bubba Watson has life figured out.... well, or just golf figured out. As much as I enjoy the wind blowing through my hair while in the passenger seat of a golf cart, I'd much prefer a ride in a jet pack! 


What do you think? Will golf jet packing be the next big thing??





Ok I'm a bit late on this last story, but I still want to share it. If you watched the ESPYs last week, you woke up the next morning with red puffballs for eyes from crying so much. Seriously, I've never cried so hard at so many different stories. Happy, sad, inspiring, brilliant, heroic.... the ESPYs pulled at every heart string possible. 

Arguably the best part of the show? Craig Sager's ESPY speech after being honored with the Jimmy V award. If you want to feel like you can do absolutely anything you set your mind to, then watch this video. You'll want to take on the world.

It's a lengthy video, but worth watching every second of it. 




OK folks, that's it for me.

I'm off to Colorado bright dark and early--- as in before the sun even comes up I'll be in the sky. Follow the adventure on insta and snap

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