Venus Trapped in Mars

08 July 2016

Falcon Heights | Baton Rouge | Dallas


Like most of you, I'm having a really hard time over here right now. I was leaving the Jim Gaffigan show when I first heard about the shootings. We were in Fair Park for the show, which is just about a mile from downtown. My friends and I got in the car and turned on the radio which was of course broadcasting the latest on the shooting. 

Everyone knows the details, so I won't go into that. 

Earlier this week there was an outpouring of prayers and furious anger for the terrible, horrific loss of life in Louisiana and Minnesota. I cried with shock, anger and complete sadness watching Alton Sterling's son break down during that press conference, and called my mom, as I always do. 

Everyone knows those details, so I won't go into that. 

I saw someone post a picture of the Dallas Skyline and a caption that said #PrayForDallas. Someone commented back disagreeing with them for posting it... as if it somehow was meant to draw a line in the sand. Dallas needs prayers right now. The United States of America needs prayers right now. Philando Castile's family needs prayers right now. Alton Sterling's family needs prayers right now. Why on earth would offering or requesting prayers EVER be condemned???? I do not understand. 

I'm not the most religious person ever, but prayers to me mean so much more than the physical act of getting down on your knees and praying to the lord. It means thinking about something or someone. It means lending your thoughts. It means giving a damn. It means taking action, should taking action help the cause. It means supporting one another in a time of need. 

I was raised by the golden rule, treat others how you would like to be treated. Why isn't it really just that simple? Treat others the way you would like to be treated. 

I would like to be treated with respect. I would like to be treated with equality. So I will treat others with respect and as my equal. I will offer prayers, and I will ask for prayers. 

Most importantly to me, I will respect the opinion of others, and the best I can do is hope that my opinion is respected, in return. 

Today I am sad, angry and honestly scared for our country. I am not brave. I am a coward. I get scared when CB goes hunting and I'm home alone. I could never do the courageous job of an officer, put my life on the line every single day. I respect our officers and I have immense gratitude that they keep us, me, you, safe. 

I will not disagree that there is clearly a police brutality problem. I do not have a solution. 

There is the terrible vibe I'm getting on social media where I feel hesitant to post my support of our Dallas Police Department. Like somehow, that means I'm taking a side. As if I'm helping draw the line in the sand and I'm stepping to one side. That is not fair.

I support equality. I support every human being.  I am an emotional, thoughtful, caring person. I'm sensitive, and I cry often, over everyone and everything. I'm so very sad today, all week. All month. All of last month.

I'm praying for what is now my home, Dallas. I'm praying for our incredibly brave officers. I'm praying for black men and black women. I'm praying for muslim men and muslim women. I'm praying for hispanic men and hispanic women. I'm praying for white men and white women. I'm praying for LGBT men, women and particularly youth that feel confused and alone and unaccepted. I'm praying for equality. I'm praying for America. I'm praying for everyone.

I'm praying for the golden rule, I wish everything could just be that simple today.

I never want to upset or offend anyone, ever. Ever. I don't claim to know it all, I actually don't claim to know much of anything (other than every member of the Tennessee Vols current backfield) so, please, don't hesitate to reach out to me. I was nervous to post this, so please be patient with me if you feel differently than I do. I'm all ears.



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