My luck has run out. While standing at a Starbucks -- wait, let me back up -- let me clairfy by telling you that I made a completely unnecessary stop at the ole Starbs. I didn't really need coffee, I wasn't tired, I just had a craving for it. I was running late on top of it, so I honestly had no business being there. I pull up and the drive through line is out of control busy. I knew I couldn't wait in that line, so I backed into a parking spot and walked in. This may sound mesmerizingly lazy to you guys, but I rarely actually GO IN a Starbucks. That takes too much effort.
But this time I went in. I went in even though I was running late and honestly didn't even need any coffee. I was that desperate (in my eyes, parking and walking in somewhere that has a drive through is considered desperation and completely unnecessary) for something I didn't even need. I ordered a venti iced coffee, used the free voucher I had available on my card, and walked over to the waiting area for them to call my order.
While standing in said designated coffee waiting location, I transferred my keys from one hand to the other. Doing so, I lost control of my phone and watched it fall in slow motion to the ground. I tried to catch it out of the air about 3 separate times, all with no luck. I bent down to pick up the phone and it had shattered. To those looking on around me, I tried to act like it had been shattered for years and years and years. "Oh, whew! No further damage. Just these gigantic cracks that were already there. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH," I casually joked to the lady standing next to me.
Inside I was dying. As I proceeded to scroll instagram while waiting for my coffee, shards of glass impaled my thumb. I acted totally calm, cool and collected. Inside my heart felt like the screen of my phone, shattered into a million pieces.
I understand and completely realize this is a major first world problem I'm complaining about, dropping my iPhone waiting for iced freaking coffee from Starbucks. Next I'm going to tell you my Ferrari got a flat tire while I was driving to pickup my new, custom Rolex they told me would be ready that day but wasn't and I wasted an entire 45 minutes roundtrip.
Hold on, did I even follow up on last Friday's post about my broken iPhone? Oh right, I haven't even had time to follow up about that LAST broken iPhone! Sorry about that, how rude of me. Well, last Friday the apple store took one look at my phone and was like, "Yikes!" They simply handed me a new one, free of charge and I went skipping out of the store with glee.
Then I dropped it at a completely unnecessary stop at Starbucks less than a week later. Hooray! I now have washi tape covering the worst parts so that shards of glass won't embed themselves while I scroll the gram.
In my 29 years on this planet I've never worn protection. So I guess I'll spend some time today looking for a more protective iPhone case. If you have any suggestions for protective cases that don't feel like I'm holding a large cement block in my hand, please let me know.
So naturally this weekend I'm taking my total and complete lack of luck with me to the casinos in Shreveport, Louisiana. I mean, makes total sense right? Where's the very best place for me to go throw wads of money away when I've just destroyed two iPhones in one week? DUH, A CASINO! Nice!
In the exact words of my friend who was born and raised in New Orleans, "Shreveport!?!? Why are you going to that shithole?" Super. Should be fun.
Follow us in the shithole of Shreveport, LA this weekend via Snapchat: @iamsarahwebb! You can find me at one of the slots that has an obnoxious Wheel of Fortune bonus game attached to it, hopefully drinking for free.