Chalupa Batman here. As you know, Sarah is out of town for a work trip in Toronto so she asked me if I felt up to filling in for a day. I of course told her I would, in an effort to make the trip easier on her, but then started racking my brain as to what the heck I would talk about. Then it hit me... my woes as an Instagram/blogger/Snapchatter/tweeter boyfriend!
I have one story in particular that she actually posted an abbreviated version of on snapchat a week or so back. You see, on weekends, Sarah is a late sleeper. I tend to wake up no later than 8:30-9, often times earlier. I've been working a Mon-Fri job since I was 17 years old, and it is just part of me at this point. Gone are my college days of being able to sleep until noon on weekends.
On a recent Saturday morning, I woke and did my best to get Sarah to stir, but per the usual, she was't anywhere near ready to get up. I told her I was going to get breakfast, and had a craving for donuts. Sarah doesn't really ever care for, or at least crave donuts, so she gave me the "meh." I told her I would get her a kolache or something like that and that was immediately followed by a "meh." She felt bad that she was shooting me down, so she said that she would be OK with donuts if I would get her a pretty one. As a blogger/Instagram boyfriend, I knew what this meant. It had to be pretty enough against a white background to take 26 pictures of to get that perfect one for Snapchat/IG.
I went to the donut store right down the street from our house. I have hit this one a few times since we have moved here, and they have really good donuts. I walked in and was the third or fourth person in the line, so I took that time to look through the glass case that all donut stores have, looking for the one or two perfect donuts for Sarah's pic. It never even occurred to me if she would like said donut, as that information was irrelevant to me and her. It was immediately obvious... there was nothing. Nothing with sprinkles, no pink frosted donuts, not even a white frosted donut! The best they had was a chocolate donut with white coconut flakes on it! I mean, I knew if I showed up with a brown donut for Instagram, I would be in the dog house most of the day. I froze, and didn't know what to do. A couple of people had already cycled through the line, so I was only one person away. I decided I had to bail, and go to another store. It was so awkward to just take a few steps back and turn to scurry out the door. I made eye contact with one of the tellers, and kept my poker face firm. I didn't want to have to explain that I was leaving without any donuts because they weren't pretty enough! I made it out with a small shred of dignity knowing that I was doing all of this to make my girlfriend happy.
I am not all that familiar with any other donut stores in the area, and only knew of one that was pretty far down the road. I drove there with a bit of fury knowing now that I had committed. If they didn't have pretty donuts either, I would have to make the same embarrassing exit. I imagined this awful scenario of googling donut stores and having to drive all over Dallas to find an Instagramable specimen. All of this going through my mind along with the fact that Sarah was at home in bed oblivious to my struggles. She would never understand! Luckily, when I made it to the next store they had a couple of colorful and fun donuts. I wasn't sure if I could handle the exit of shame again, and might have had to let Sarah down.
Although I succeeded this time as you can see in the pic above, the struggle continues. When y'all have your boyfriend/husband stand on that concrete wall to take your pic right or sit in the car before going in somewhere so that you can put the right hashtags on your post (Which can be found in Sarah's link HERE) or are completely ignoring him when your feed is just so BOMB that day, remember, despite all of our complaining, all we really want to do is get you that sparkly donut.
'Till next time, CB