My mom is having a serious blogging rut lately, so she decided to take her own advice and just go through her list of Blog Post Ideas For When You're in a Rut! And wouldn't you dog gone know it (hah).... have your DOG take over is the very first thing on the list!
Mom told me I could post today about anything I wanted. I ran the first idea that came to mind by her, "Reasons why my pee smells better on that patch of grass than your dog's pee. Reason one, this is my patch of grass, bitch." Unfortunately, she stopped me right there in my tracks (hah, a little more dog humor) and ruled out that post topic even though I had about 47 more reasons to give.
So instead, I decided to spill some secrets about me and my family you might not know. I even have a few insider secrets about Mr. CB for you! Heck, Mr. CB has walked in on me on more than one occasion as I was getting out of the shower, so he might as well be family at this point right?
1. My mom eats pizza in bed. Like, really often.
2. When my mom leaves for work, I have to get locked in the bedroom because I thoroughly enjoy pooping and peeing in one very specific spot in the living room. I could get into the reasons that my poop and pee belong on that one spot in the living room, but my mom ruled that out, remember?
3. I don't believe in personal space. It's overrated.
4. Gee doesn't like to be touched while he's sleeping. Not so much as just light grazing on his fur, by a paw or fingernail. He gets angry and yells at me. I sometimes cry. I just want to make my big brother proud :(
5. Mr. Cb has two cats that he's had for 11 years. They do not like me and Gee.... at all. Well, I can honestly see why they wouldn't like Gee. I mean he tries to eat their poop AND their food. But how could you not like little ole me? I just want to be friends!
6. I know Mr. CB's real name and what he looks like.... and you don't!!! Nanny nanny boo boo!
7. My brother is obsessed with squirrels. We go to the dog park and all he does, the whole time, is bark up at the squirrels in the tree. He never even says hi to any of the other dogs. I'm for sure the social butterfly of the family, just like my mommy!
8. I either love you or hate you.... there is no in between. For example, if you're riding a bike, I hate you. What the heck do you think you are? Half man, half machine? I just don't understand, therefore, I do not approve.
9. The only thing I've ever seen Mr. CB choose over hanging with my mom on the weekend, is duck hunting. Otherwise the two of them are inseparable. Props to my momma on those weekends though, because she will usually steal Mr. CB's girl friends away that night for a girl's night out on the town! Mr. CB always ends up having a baaaaad case of FOMO. I can see it all over his face when he gets back!
10. Both Gee's birthday and my birthday is next month! He will be 7 years old and I will be 3! Do you guys think this is a good age for me to start wearing under eye cream before bed?
11. Playing fetch is my jam, but I like to make mom work for it too. I'll put the ball down just slightly out of her reach, to where she has to get up out of the chair to throw it for me. It's hilarious to see how irritated she gets!
12. Mom has never ever given us people food. But Mr. CB sneaks us some off his plate allllllll the time. Don't tell my mom ok?????
13. I've never seen mom happier. True story.
14. Mr. CB and mom turned the Seahawks vs. Packers game off with 6 minutes to go when the score was 19-7! Bahahahahahaha! They missed the greatest comeback ever! Suckers.
15. I love little kids and I'm really good with them! They are close to the ground, just like I am, so they don't scare me like those big scary men on the bicycles. I sit down and show my belly anytime a little boy or girl comes up for pets.... and get this, they always rub my belly and giggle! My mom is so proud of me for being so well behaved around kiddos. I get pets, and my mom tells me what a good girl I am... it's a win win!
16. Mom will drop money on literally anything if she thinks it will be hilarious. She is usually spot on..... exhibit A:
17. Giving face licks makes my world go round. My mom secretly looooooves my face licks, but pretends not to because Mr. CB doesn't like them for some ODD reason. I literally can't even imagine not liking them??!