Venus Trapped in Mars

27 January 2015

I Went to Virginia and All I Got Was This Lousy Punch in the Face

Like I mentioned yesterday, it's Super Bowl week and I have more posts planned than I have days left until the Super Bowl on Sunday!  But those posts are going to have to wait until at least this afternoon because boy do I have a story for y'all. 

If you follow me on Instagram, you may have seen that I went with CB to visit my family in Virginia. We spent part of the trip in Virginia Beach, and the remainder in Richmond where I grew up. I was excited to have my partner in crime with me on this trip, and on Thursday night we thought it would be fun to check out the VA Beach nightlife. 

We walked into this particular bar to find a Beer Pong Tournament in progress. One thing you should know about me... beer pong is my favorite game in all the land. 

It was crystal clear to CB and me that all the teams in the tournament were besties that did this every Thursday, and we were the outsiders. Everyone was super nice though, and explained their rules up front........ their really dumb rules that DID NOT INCLUDE AN ELBOW RULE. I of course played elbow rule anyway because I'm not a dirty cheater. 

I assure you I have a punch line to this story (hah....foreshadowing)

Much to everyone's surprise, we made it to the semi-finals where we were eventually knocked out by the number 3 ranked beer pong player in the world. Because apparently, beer pong rankings are a thing. He was about 28 feet tall, and with no elbow rules, he pretty much Bozo-Super-Sunday-Show'ed us, bucket after bucket. After apologizing for what I said when I was losing to the number three beer pong player in the world, we all chatted for a while, and he actually turned out to be a real nice guy. 

Even though we were out of the tournament, games continued and some random guy needed a partner. He asked me if I'd like to play. I lit up, seeing as that meant I got to play more beer pong. CB joined me over at the table to cheer me on. I made a few cups, and then all of a sudden a girl came out of no where, grabbed a cup of water off the table, and threw it at CB. This girl was NOT playing in the tournament, and I still quite literally have no idea where she even came from, or why she was such an angry elf.  

I leave my side of the table and immediately go to defend my man. I simply shrug my shoulders and ask her, "Heyyyy what was that for?"  

Next thing I know she comes at me swinging, Jerry Springer style, clocking me right in the forehead. She continues wildly slapping in an attempt to grab my hair or hit me with a chair or whatever it is girls do in bar fights. 

Meanwhile, I have lost all basic motor functions because I am crying so hysterically. CB is able to get in the middle, while some guys manage to pry this nutcase off of me. 

My pristine bar rap sheet flashes before my eyes. Am I going to get kicked out???! Meanwhile, tears flood down my face as CB tries to calm me down. I thought if I were ever in a fight I would be a little tougher, turns out, NOPE!  

Well, I certainly did not get kicked out. It's hard to get kicked out when you can't muster up anything other than tears, let alone a retaliation. Really Sarah??? I expected more from you.

Instead, people kept coming up offering me drinks, and shots and their condolences. The other girl, of course, did get kicked out. I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume this wasn't her first bar fight. 

I woke up the next morning and felt a bruise on my forehead, right where she clocked me. I then nodded and smiled to myself, knowing I could now check bar brawl off my bucket list. Don't mess with me, people. 

Do. Not. Mess. With. Me. #SoBadass 

And here are some pictures from my trip, you know, if you're into that basic girl stuff like blogging, and iPhone cameras, and wine, and family. That is for sure not me of course, I'm only into badass things like picking bar fights on the reg. 






Before I sign off today, I've got my girl Morgan from Believe in the Sparks giving five amazing (and very pinworthy might I add) tips for staying relaxed on your wedding day. Can I add a tip #6? 

Tip number 6: don't invite me to your wedding. I'm just way too much of a loose cannon. You'll never know what I'm going to do next! Just kidding. I'm harmless. I can't promise I won't cry though. 

Be sure to check Morgan out on her blog // twitter // facebook // instagram // pinterest 

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In the days leading up to my wedding day I received many comments from strangers and family alike noting my uncharacteristic calm and relaxed demeanor. It's no secret that brides are crazy stressed in the days (or weeks or months) leading up to her big day, but I can sit here and honestly tell you that I wasn't the least bit stressed or nervous about my wedding day. 

I'm a stressed out person by nature. Daily stress constantly takes control of my life. That combined with my extreme type-A and slightly OCD personality produces the perfect formula for an uptight and stressed out bride... Except I wasn't either. I was as calm as a cucumber, and I like to think that these five reasons below had a lot to do with it.
Hire a wedding coordinator.
Hiring a wedding coordinator was the best decision I made throughout my entire planning process. He took all my worries and fears about the wedding and turned them into his priority. He gave me a timeline, an agenda, and he made things happen. Most importantly, he was there on my wedding day planning and designing and coordinating. I didn't have to do a thing on my day other than relax and prepare to take that walk down the aisle. He had everything else under control. If I can give you just one piece of advice for your wedding day, here it is: budget for a wedding coordinator. Make cuts elsewhere in the wedding so you can hire that person who will become your best friend on your day and your lifesaver during your planning process and especially on your wedding day.

Start the day early.
My ceremony was scheduled to begin at 5:00pm, but the wedding day process starting at 7:00 that morning. My girls and I eased through the hair and makeup process while leaving plenty of extra time for mimosa sipping and storytelling. We took our time arriving at the venue, and were able to put on our dresses without a moment of rush. Not one moment of my wedding day felt chaotic or rushed. I had time to sit around and soak in everything happening around me. Create an agenda for your day, and stick to it. Thankfully I had my coordinator who did this for me, but it's something a bride can easily do herself before the big day. Have a timeline, and then add thirty extra minutes to complete each activity. This will give you plenty of extra wiggle room in case there is a hiccup during the day.

Don't stress about the things that you can't control.
The unexpected will happen. You can not anticipate or prepare for every little thing on your wedding day.I arrived at the venue on my wedding day to see a haze of smoke surrounding the property. There was an apparent controlled brush fire happening about a mile from the venue, and the smoke extended for miles. My coordinator did all he could, including calling the mayor of the small town, but it was to no avail. The fire was in full force and there was nothing that could be done to stop it. My initial reaction when I saw the smokey haze was to freak out, but I knew that I couldn't control it and thus a freak out wouldn't help the situation. Thankfully all worked out in the end. The fire wrapped about a couple of hours before the ceremony, and there wasn't a trace of smoke in the air come wedding time!
Keep a mimosa in hand at all times.
I am in no way condoning brides to get drunk before she takes that walk down the aisle, but do believe me when I say that mimosas (in moderation) do wonders for the nerves! Just trust me on this one.
Turn up the music and put on a mini concert with all your best girls before the ceremony starts. 
My bridesmaids did a fabulous job keeping the music playing all day long, but about an hour before the ceremony started, my girls turned up the party music and led us all in song and dance. We belted out a little Miley Cyrus (Party in the USA to be exact) and danced around in our dresses and heels. It was the perfect way to shake out and last minute jitters before walking down the aisle. Not to mention, it was a wonderful memory I share with my girls of that very special day.


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34 comments :

  1. Wow, some people are just crazy! At least you didn't retaliate and get kicked out or worse! Haha. Your story reminds me of those dreams where I try to punch someone and it ends up being super weak and doesn't even faze them - I have NO idea what I would be like in a fight! lol

    Also, I love Morgan's tips! So many people said the same thing about me (how calm I was) leading up to my wedding and even on my wedding day, and I just thought, "That's so sad. Shouldn't all brides ENJOY their wedding instead of worrying about it?" I guess I didn't even realize people like Morgan and I were the odd ones out!

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    1. I completely agree - all brides should be able to enjoy their day and not stress about the last minute details. I'm glad that you were able to remain calm and stress free during your day! Cheers to being relaxed brides! :)

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  2. OMG this story is crazy! I can't believe you didn't text me about it. I'm offended (not really but maybe). That is just so nuts it sounds like a movie. and I will play beer pong with you any day- you can punch me and everything.

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  3. What. The. Heck? That reminds me of the time in high school, I was sitting in the hall during lunch, reading a homework assignment, when this girl comes up to me, ready to kick my butt because her boyfriend said I was pretty. I had no idea who she or her boyfriend were. Bitches be crazy.

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  4. I agree with Beks, bitches be crazy I can't even believe what goes through some people's minds. Also how did they not play elbow rules? That's just not right...

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  5. Holy hell - what a crazy girl at the bar!!! I could see if you were winning and she was defending her boyfriend's honor but WTF? You handled it well, tears are better than handcuffs - remember that. I've only been on one bar fight in my life, it was really, really dumb and the chick that tried to hit me, totally hit my forehead too - what is up with that? She tried to "punch down" the front of my face, thus messing up my bangs and I just stepped back and looked at her, and was like 'Seriously? You just messed up my hair, what is wrong with you?' this made her more angry but all I could do was laugh because the bouncers had her in their arms and she was kicking and screaming while I laughed at her. (I was at a biker bar, and friends with most of the regulars, I had this handled, well, my pals did anyway) ;)

    As far as wedding tips these are ALL great!!! And I especially love the time line and leaving and extra 30 mins for each activity - I couldn't afford a wedding planner and didn't end up needing one because I was able to plan the entire day for us to get ready as we wanted. I only got jitters once, and that was getting into my dress, and right before walking down the isle (the bridesmaids and I all did Lemon Drop shots before walking down the isle). And she's 100% right - if you can't control it, let it go!!! The day is about you and your husband, not every single detail. Enjoy him, and yourself and the rest will fall into place :) PS JUST DON'T FORGET TO BUY CAKE cutting utensils - the venue doesn't always provide them, I learned this the hard way!!!

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    1. Thank you!! Adding extra time into your day is so important, as you also figured out. Lemon drop shots were probably the perfect pre-ceremony send off! And now every time you have a lemon drop you probably think about that moment.
      Yes! Yes! Yes! There is no need to stress about the things that you can't control. Once you figure that one out, you're set!

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  6. What in the world?? So strange, why would she just randomly start fighting you?? That makes no sense! I would have cried too! Glad you're ok, and glad you had a good time with your family and CB!

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  7. That's insane! Definitely sounds like a movie! Or just a frat party.

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  8. Glad you are ok. Some people can be crazy.

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  9. i love morgan! why was that girl so angry? what a bitch. that is so weird why was she throwing punches and throwing water and stuff? that is so weird. i'm like angry at her for you nobody hurts my friends!

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  10. I'd say crying and getting people offering you drinks means that you won that round.

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  11. are you sure you weren't actually a participant on the Bachelor? because that sounds like something that would happen at the cocktail party before the rose ceremony. I can't believe she just walked up out of nowhere!

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  12. I'm slightly disappointed that you didn't get a photo of the crazy lady. #picsoritdidn'thappen.

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  13. That story is crazy! I wouldn't be much of a badass in a fight either, especially if I didn't know one was coming! Glad you can check it off your list. Also, love that pic of you & the beer glass - your eyes look amazing!

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  14. What the what?! BAR FIGHT?! I would have erupted into tears, too. No question. Is it weird that I'm always hoping you accidentally include a picture of CB in these updates? Sorry I'm not sorry.

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  15. WHAT?! That's crazy. I would have cried too.

    But what's crazier is that the bar didn't have an elbow rule. Everyone knows how important the elbow rule is (except for this bar apparently....)

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  16. Holy cow! That chick sounds completely nuts! I was only in one bar fight in my life, and it wasn't my fault. Some crazy girl hit me and in reaction I broke her nose. But I didn't get kicked out either!! lol!

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  17. That is crazy!

    At least now you know how you'll react in a confrontation, right? Hahaha!

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  18. Morgan was a beautiful bride and this trip sounds like so much fun!

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    1. You are so sweet!! Thank you so much, Kelly!!

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  19. tis true you do look like a #badass no question, On a positive note great blog story right and its always "this is so going on my blog" with us

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  20. HAHA! Ahh I'm so sorry! But what a good story! did you ever find out what her problem was?!

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  21. I almost got into a fight in VA once too. Only I wasn't crying. I had too much Jager in me to realize I am only 4'10 and should not be launching myself through the air at crazy drunk girls.

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  22. Ok for real, what was this broads deal!? Did she think he was someone else? I would have clocked her square in her pie hole. What a nutcase!

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  23. Woah, crazy! You get all my respect for not retaliating. I on the other hand would have been kicked out of the bar for knocking her down.

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  24. I don't remember my wedding it was so long ago I can't remember if I was stressed or not

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  25. HAH! I live in VA in nearCharlottesville and people here are just insane at the bars! Sorry you got decked!

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  26. This story is CRAZY! I'm still sitting here wondering where she came out of her and what CB did to provoke her. Is it because he uses the moniker Batman and he's really not Batman and she's a diehard Batman fan? We will never know sadly. I'm glad you were victorious to tell the story.

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    1. If that is it... then I'm not even remotely angry about the fight. In fact, I'd do it all over again just to support this theory!

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  27. Just wow. if it was me I would like to think that I would have hit her back or done something but I probably would have been so shocked I would have done nothing

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  28. I'm from Virginia too! I live in Providence Forge, about 30 minutes south of Richmond, with my guy and our two fur babies. It was refreshing discovering your blog today. And I'm not surprised by your brawl. It's VaBeach. I mean. Let's get real.

    Sarah
    http://fromdogwoodstomagnolias.blogspot.com/

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  29. The manager at event venues Seattle suggested we make custom choices and make the menu a little more personalized. The next time you need to hold a conference, have a wedding, or set up a whiskey tasting, think about doing it at this venue.

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