Venus Trapped in Mars

13 December 2013

Fan Friday: Christmas Card Edition

Sorry not sorry but my favorite part of Sunday Night Football is when the athletes introduce themselves. Yeah, I like the football too, but unless the Cowboys are playing I'm not on pins and needles watching the game. 

When we get to "meet the offense" or defense, I am on pins and needles. Yes, I love my Vols, but no I can't tell you what Vol player plays on every NFL team. I know many, but certainly not all. So I sit there anxiously awaiting someone to say, "Insert_Name_Here THE University of Tennessee." And then I get all giddy and cheer excitedly and the whole Sunday Night Football experience has peaked for me during the first drive of the game. 

My point is that I just really enjoy getting to see these players as more than just a pair of eyes staring out of a face mask. I adore commercials with athletes, from Peyton endorsing everything there ever was to be endorsed, to Brees and his Nyquil, to Aaron getting his discount double check, I love it all. 

So I thought it would be fun today to bring you some of your favorite athlete's Christmas card photos! I actually started this post thinking how easy this will be to just google a specific athlete and his family's Christmas card would pop right up. Well, that didn't happen, like, at all. So I had to make my own. It was also brought to my attention by my editor (aka proofreader, aka my mother) that these didn't make any sense to most fans, so I added a little description about each card at the bottom, essentially feeding you the punch line. Sigh. 

This is Plaxico Burress, he shot himself in the thigh accidentally. 

I would hope those two don't need explanation, moving on.
   
This is Ben Roethlisberger, he was accused of rape.

This is Bobby Petrino and his adulterous relationship. This is just too much for me to get into, I'll leave it at that.

That is Gronkowski, he is the tight end for the New England Patriots. He's hot. 




This is Aaron Hernandez. He was arrested this year and charged with murder.

Ok that post went better in my head. Ah well, what are ya going to do!
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38 comments :

  1. Aaron Hernandez......think he will most likely get coal in his stocking? ;-)

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  2. HA! These are hilarious. Love them all, but I think the Manning Card might just be my favorite.

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  3. These are awesome! Those Gronk pictures just reminded me that last year I had to find a picture of him for a poster at work... it took me until the THIRD page on Google when searching "Rob Gronkowski" to find a photo of him actually in a football uniform (not even playing football!)... all the rest were like the ones above and him with scantily clad women haha!

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  4. Ahhh yes, we're so classy in New England... good ol' Gronk (who you just can't help but love!) and Aaron Hernandez... oyyy!

    Love the Manning family card!

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  5. Bahahahahah #1 made me spit my water out I laughed so hard. That was awesome.

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  6. YOU'LL SHOOT YOUR THIGH OUT.
    Stop it, just stop it.

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  7. Staaahhhhpp... the Roethlisberger one. And the Gronkowski one. Oh. Hot. Damn.

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  8. yesssss to the ben roethlisberger one. Steelers.... they're the worst.

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  9. i thought brady was the only hot one on the patriots? hmmm must watch football more with my husband (he's a huge patriots fan)

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  10. hahaha the Big Ben was is amazing. and heyyy Rob Gronkowski

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  11. I am pretty excited to sing we swish you a merry Christmas for the rest of the season.

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  12. Hahaha, this is funny!!! The Manning one is hilarious, because it's pretty much true, LOL!! Also, kind of unrelated, have you heard of Dave Ramsey? I follow him on Twitter and he's always Tweeting about the Vols cause he's from Tennessee and it always makes me think of you!

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  13. So on one hand this post is totally ridiculous, but on the other hand I didn't stop laughing the entire time I was reading it and now I feel like I need to share it with more people. Aka EVERYONE!

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  14. We are the same person! hahahahah I loveee listening to their intros and watching their commercials. I feel like it gives them personality as opposed to just a number. AND these cards are hilarious! The Plaxico Burress one, I just can't! That's hysterical. I love the Manning one too! Don't worry, I understood them before reading the punch line! :)

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  15. Love the Manning one and most of these were pretty awesome, but the Roethlisberger one isn't funny. Rape never makes a good punchline. Sorry.

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  16. laughing a little bit that you just assumed their actual family christmas cards would show up on google .... then again i wouldn't actually be surprised if that did happen . ... and can we talk about the mannings! that picture is classic

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  17. I think the mistletoe one is my fave.. I feel like you should tweet these to their respective owners!

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  18. I LOLd pretty hard at these. Brilliant! You're so crafty and creative.
    Ps. I need Gronkowski in my stocking this year.

    › xo fal • falfindshappiness.blogspot.com

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  19. hahaha this is amazing. i can't even pic a favorite. ok the peyton family, because yes.

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  20. Whew so glad I got most of the sports references without having to read the captions.

    I love the player intros too, also my favorite part of the night! I thought I was the only one, Tyson certainly thinks I am. Last week Greg Hardy from the Panthers was Craken', Hogwarts. I can't hate a guy that went to Hogwarts.

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  21. This is the BEST POST EVER!!!!

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  22. Hahaha, "you'll shoot your thigh out" is comedic gold. Also, the Ben Roethlisberger one = rude, because we all know he didn't do it. (You can file that under "lies I tell myself because I love my franchise quarterback").

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  23. I am just so glad no one from FSU made the list. And that's all I'm gonna say about that!

    Except... GO NOLES!!!!!

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  24. O M G! The Plaxico one is amazing. The next 2 defintiely need no explanation. If they did... le sigh. I need to look into this Petrino scandal. Big Ben made me LOL and Gronk... holy shit balls that is an amazing card. I think I'm just going to send that one to myself. And Aaron... oh Aaron....

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  25. OMG too funny! Did you see Gronk on that Dating show, he was horrible! Dumber than a box of rocks but he is hot! Aaron, good lord what an idiot to throw that all away.

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  26. I gotta say the first one takes the cake and I don't even keep up with him or what he stupid shenanigans he's done SMH. Happy Friday Sarah!

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  27. I'm pretty sure I've heard one of the players list off his elementary school during the introductions before.

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  28. LMAOOO Omg these are funny! I must admit that I did a scroll down and then scroll back up to check out Gronkowski... Damn, he's FINE... hahaha

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  29. Ahahaha, these are great! And Gronkowski? That's a tight end all right. ;)

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  30. Omg... these are all fantastic... especially that nekkid boy up there :)

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  31. Incredible amounts of drama!! I get what you were trying to do. Speaking of Christmas cards.. have you ever seen the Kardashians' ? It's so stupid.. and just.. sigh, THEM.
    http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20761878,00.html
    There's a link of it.. it's just so bad you have to see it.

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  32. I loved all of these! I can't pick a favorite. The Manning, Gronk, and Hernandez ones really had me laughing.

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  33. Haha these are brilliant!! And any girl that's a Peyton and Volunteer fan holds a special place in my heart and gets an automatic follow! I'm excited to read more :)

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  34. Can someone send me that Gronk card? He can grace my walls all season.

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  35. Haha I actually understood all of those without having to read the explanations! I was pretty proud of myself. Very creative!

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  36. BAHAHAHA! I'm dying! My bro-in-law loves these too!

    -AJ
    FitTravelerAJ.com

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