Venus Trapped in Mars

12 August 2010

Thirsty Thursday: 92nd PGA Championship: Why Booze is Not Permitted

Happy Thirsty Thursday Ya'll!
The 92nd PGA Championship is taking place as we speak (August 12-15). This event is the fourth and final major tournament of the golfing year. There are four rounds of 18 holes, so they play Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

This year the contest will be played in Wisconsin. Lame. What is there to do in Wisconsin? Errr I mean JK anyone who is from Wisconsin.

I'm sure Tiger will be able to find someone to do.... ummm errr I mean SOMETHING to do in Wisconsin!

So needless to say, alcohol is NOT permitted during the championship, here are a few reasons why I think this is a good idea!

I don't know about you but I think everyone is the funniest person I have ever met when I have been drinking and my voice gets 20 decibels louder after a sip of a vodka tonic. Then if I see someone I know... "OHHHH MY GOSSHHHHHH LIZ IS HERE MY BEST FRIENDDDD FOR EVER, I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN AGESSSSSS AHHHHHHH!!!!!"

Truth be told, Liz and I probably had lunch together. But after I start drinking I just simply cannot control the VOLUME OF MY VOICE!!

Well, try getting all liquored up at a golf match where you are forced to be quiet by officials! When the golfers are about to take their shot, they usually line up and aim for like 27 minutes and complete silence is required. I think it is hilarious when a bird chirps and the golfer steps back to rethink his shot.

Was that bird really that distracting?? A real man can hit that stationary golf ball through anything. Golf is basically tee ball for adults. Not that hard!

***A beer bong doesn't really go with this outfit!***

Gotta hand it to golf. Super cute and preppy outfits are sported on the sidelines. The idea behind golf is refined, classy, ultra preppy, country club chic! Not...

...Last one to do a keg stand is IT!

Drinking decreases your awareness of what is going on around you. While on a golf course, you must always know your surroundings. Keep your guard up. Have eyes in the back of your head because you never know when....

...Bob Barker is going to kick the crap outta you!!!

And the final reason why it's probably best to not serve booze at the 92nd annual PGA Championships....

Don't Tase Me Bro!

Tiger decided at the last Players Championship that he didn't have room for any more player haters in his life. A man named Travis Parmelee of Jacksonville, Fl thought it would be a good idea to heckle Tiger on the 11th hole of the championship. When he was asked to quiet down by officials, he still continued his rant toward the golfer. So the police stepped in...

When Parmelee was asked how he felt about the violent reaction of Tiger and the police, he said, "Quite frankly, I was shocked!"

HAHA no he didn't really say that, it was just too good to pass on that gem!

So moral of the story is if you are thirsty this Thursday evening (or right now if you are Snooki) I would head to your favorite cocktail hour and ask for a channel change to see the PGA Championship, let's leave the tasers out of this!

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