Venus Trapped in Mars

22 August 2010

Fantasy Football Team Names


It's time to sign up for fantasy football if you haven't already. If I know my girls at all, I bet ya'll twenty bucks you put more effort, thought and creative strength into your team name than your actual team itself. My guess is you have no idea who you will draft nor do you care as long as you have the best name in the league! My team name sucks, but I have had it for 4 years now and I just can't bring myself to change it.

So I'm going to live vicariously through my readers and help you guys pick a team name to stand the test of time (or just 2010-2011 season as the case may be). I know the phrase is don't judge a book by it's cover, but come on, if there is a book that is pink and sparkly and lined with Swarovski crystals, I'm going to pick it up and at least read a few chapters.

Same with your team name, if you have an AMAZINGLY hysterical team name that is better than all the others, you are going to win respect for at least a couple of weeks, unless you draft a kicker in the first round in which opens up a whole other can of worms!

My goal here is to have ya'll spend less time on your team name and more time analyzing your roster, which is the most important part of fantasy after all. Let's show those boys who the real football buffs are!

Step One: Determine what kind of league are you are in.
1. Does your league have dudes? Scroll down to step 2 if yes, step 3 if no.

Step 2: Co-ed: What kind of people are you playing with?
1. Office party - many different types of people all from your work place. Proceed to step 4.
2. ESPN news only channel on t.v.- must take a statistic test from previous NFL season to qualify for league. Proceed to step 6.
3. Friends and family- will grandpa be in your group? Proceed to step 4
4. Frat-tastic - Most perverted name wins. Proceed to step 5.

Step 3: Just us girls
1. Power girls- live in person draft, sporting favorite running back's jersey, full NFL network package in High Def purchased. Proceed to step 6.
2. What did I just give her $10 for? Proceed to step 7.

Step 4: Clean and funny team names: No profanity allowed, no inappropriate references to male/female bodily functions. Must win creativity points with football knowledge and humor.
- I'm thinking RB's (hah! now I want some cury fries)
- Waka Flacco Flame
- Take a Henne, Leave a Henne
- Farve dollar footlongs
- The 40 year old Viking
- forgetting Brandon Marshall
- What would Jones-Drew?
- FaBrees
- I like Hines 57 with my Roethlisberger
- Ochocinco my battleship
- The conVicks
-May the Schwartz be with you
- Home is where the Portis


Step 5: If you can hang in the fraternity house on Sundays in the fall and down beer bongs during the halftime of the pats/colts game with the best of em, you need a strong and severely inappropriate team name to make everyone else in the league uncomfortable, and in turn, view you as a worthy adversary. The dirtier the better. Unfortunately, I know my grandma reads this blog (hi nan!), so here are some funny, and only slightly inappropriate team names to get you started thinking like a frat boy.

- Panti-Raiders
- Love my eX's and hO's
- Romo Witten his pants
-I touchdown there
-Have Bush? Get Barber!
- My Vick in a Box
-Chad lost his Johnson
-2 inches Flacco, 4 inches Huard
- Nice Rackers
- Warner Before You Touch Her
-Kim Kardashian's Bush
- Dezzie Does Dallas

Step 6: You are the fantasy football expert. Your trophies from previous fantasy seasons have been polished, you've been studying training camps day and night, no one can stop you from making this league your BIA BIA! It is your year and Tony Romo Fan Club just won't earn you the respect you need. How bout you try these on for size!

-- You've been cut, clean out Urlacher.
- My Maroney has a 1st name
- Kibbles and Vick
- Berrian the Competition
- Addai Another Day
- The Celek Few
- I make it Dwayne on these Bowes


Step 7: You have no idea what you have gotten yourself into, but these names sound like something you would TOTALLY be interested in!

-Somewhere over Dwayne Bowe
- I'm bringing Hasselbeck
- Orton (hears a) WHO?
- Make it Wayne on 'em
- Rice Rice Baby!
- Casselblanca
- Justin Gaged
- Vince Young and the Restless


Stay tuned for draft tips! Happy drafting Venus lovers!

Image courtesy of:
http://www.footballbabble.com

No comments :

Post a Comment

Comments make my heart go boom boom.

I respond to all comments, if you are leaving me comments and not getting a reply, you may be a no-reply blogger. Fix it HERE!