Venus Trapped in Mars

05 August 2010

Football 101: Counting down the seconds till the game is over...

A full game of football plays 60 minutes, broken down to what are called halves and quarters. There are 2 halves (30 min each) and 2 quarters per half (15 min each).
As I'm sure you know when your man sits in front of the t.v. for 3 to 4 hours watching the game you are probably wondering where I am getting 60 minutes from.

There are many times when play is stopped...
  • At the end of every quarter play stops for a few minutes. They do this so they can switch sides of the field because if they didn't the losing team's guys will cry to the refs that the sun was in their eyes, or the grass was cut differently on the other side of the field (and guys say we are cry babies!!).
  • 2 minutes warning... this is exactly that. Clock stops for a warning that there are 2 minutes left in the quarter. DUH we can read time!
  • When the second of the 4 quarters comes to an end, it is then halftime. This is the part I'm sure many girls already know! Time for the band and dance team to come out and walk around in cool formations. I really like this part too because if you are in the student section at a college football game, this is the part where you actually get to sit down! But in all fairness this break gives the teams time to strategize how to either maintain their lead or make their comeback.
  • Time outs- each half, each team has 3-one minute time out they can call for whatever reason they want.
  • If the offense throws a pass down the field and no one catches it, clock stops.
  • So remember when Mars got that touchdown for being "Facebook Official"? Well, the clock would stop after that.
  • After touchdowns the same team that scored the touchdown kicks it to the other team. when the other team catches that kick, clock stops again!
  • If the defense is able to stop the offenses attempts at a first down, and they get the ball back, clock stops.
  • Clock stops for medical treatment if someone get's their clocked rocked (hah! Pun intended!)
  • Remember when I told you the measurements of the field, well if you step out of those measurements (or what is referred to as stepping out of bounds) clock stops.
Let's pretend that you are dating a guy who you just cant decide if you like or even if you want to go out with again. He is so close to that new fresh first down line, but stuck in 3rd down land! So you go out with your girlfriends to analyze the last date and decide if you are going to give him a first down and the chance to get that touchdown (aka Facebook official cuz that is what any girl is after right?)

Let's think of your best 7 friends as your "referees" because there are 7 refs on the field during the game! The two friends you go out with to analyze this guy hold the power to either move him forward or kick him away. These two friends hold the 10 yard measuring tape. If they think he has moved the proverbial 10+ yards he moves on, if he falls short, peace out!

  • Point to this rant is the clock stops for your friends to measure this guys progress. Also known as the clock stopping for the refs to measure very closely if the offense has moved 10 yards or not.
  • Finally if the ref's on the field throw a yellow handkerchief-looking flag onto the field, clock stops because they want to review what they just saw before making a call.
    Thanks to the clock stopping ALLLLL THE TIME, this is why the guys in your life seem to morph with the couch into one blob on the weekends in the fall.

    Images courtesy of from top to bottom:
    http://www.bigfatcake.com/
    http://www.linkwhip.com/
    http://www.rockriverfootball.com/
    http://img3.visualizeus.com/
    http://www.partyoptions.net/

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