Venus Trapped in Mars

21 May 2015

That Time I Found $10

A couple of days ago I was walking my dogs, the usual occurrence that happens twice daily, but sometimes not until 10am on Saturdays if Friday night lasted until after midnight. On the occasional weekend morning, my boyfriend will wake up without saying a word, get out of bed and take them on a walk for me. If you are a single dog mom that lives in a 3rd floor apartment without a back yard, then you will know that is, without a sliver of a doubt, the most romantic thing a boyfriend can do for his girlfriend. Forget flowers or chocolates or surprise bottles of wine, if a boy is willing to walk two dogs that were not originally adopted by him, that's romance. That's love. Surprise wine is also love though, just so we aren't leaving that out. 
So like I was saying, I was walking the dogs on Tuesday afternoon. There are two very slender, long patches of grass designated solely for dog poop next to my building. Every hooman that lives in the building is fully aware that stepping anywhere in either row of grass can be lethal. I'm walking Gee and Veenie along, watching their bum holes, hoping for poop on the horizon (if you're a dog parent then you're lying if you say you don't do this too), when I spot a crumpled up $10 bill in the grass. 
To say I felt psychotic over the series of thoughts that would follow is an understatement.  
My first thought was obviously to pick it up. 
Before I picked the money up, I spotted a man and his dog out of the corner of my eye. He was closer to me than he should have been, abusing the unspoken, yet implied, "allow 30 feet of space between the dogs you're walking and someone else's dogs." The man was lingering in the no-zone, 25ish feet away. 
I instantly decided that he was conducting a social psychological experiment to see how many people would pick up the 10 bill. If I picked up that $10, my picture would surely be found in a University of Texas at Dallas study, showcasing the link between those that picked up the $10, and long-term emotional damage from the verbal abuse of a summer camp counselor or something.  
I briskly walked in the other direction, acting as if I had never even seen the money. 
When that man and his dog headed back inside without taking my picture on a disposable flip phone or scribbling any notes, I walked the dogs back toward the money. 
I paced the same 5 feet back and forth, essentially standing guard over the money. Thoughts continued...
What if that show What Would You Do Is Taping Me? I'll be forever on television, portrayed as the greedy, desperate girl that couldn't just leave the $10 in the grass for the original owner to come back and retrieve. The girl that didn't even try to put posters up, "FOUND $10. No tags. Call 555-555-5555 to claim." 
No one is looking, just pick it up. I could get Chipotle WITH guacamole!!!

Then I got bit by a mosquito. I smacked my ankle and took that as a sign to leave it. 
I'll leave it for one of the homeless guys that always begs for money. 

But what if some random girl walking her dogs takes it for herself, the homeless guys won't get the $10.

I'll just pick it up and save it for one of the homeless guys that asks me for money. They'll be so happy. 

Another guy came out to walk his dog, and, after quickly determining he was a psychology student at Baylor, I scurried inside with one dog who had pooped and one who hadn't, abandoning the wadded up $10 bill. 
I checked the next morning, vowing to pick it up if it was there, and it was of course gone. I felt crazy. Like a crazy person. 
I told CB I had found $10 and you know what he said? He said, "Oh sweet! We can get Chipotle.
I then explained my full thought process and why we wouldn't be having Chipotle. He listened, agreed that I was indeed crazy. But the sweet man that he is told me he loved me for my crazy. 


  1. oh hi I definitely do the same thing. all. the. time.

  2. Awww he is a keeper. But the issue with the 10 sounds EXACTLY like me. I'm like I'm not the only crazy person

  3. Ha! It's crazy we have to worry now if we're being secretly filmed for some weird social experiment. Next time take the money, because don't they have to ask you to sign some waiver if they want to use your image? Then you can decline and have your Chipotle in peace:)

  4. Cute story.

  5. LOL. this is hilarious. I actually found $20.00 while walking my dog too. I kind of was like is this forreal. But I am that person that will find money, and then lose my own. = | I can't remember what I did with it, but I am now wondering if I am on some social experiment site or something some where. LOL.

  6. yeah i love ya but you cray. $10!!!!!

  7. Hahaha- well I am a terrible person. The other day I spotted a $20 in a parking lot and there was NO ONE to be seen so I picked it up and went on my merry way. I didn't think twice. #Guilty

  8. I'm so relieved. I'm glad there is someone else out there that thinks those SAME thoughts. And someone else that has left money for the same reasons.

  9. ha ha You should've picked up and gone for the guac lol. hashtag sorrynotsorry :)

  10. I think after the first guy left. I would've picked it up. But who am I to judge.
    Maybe the homeless guy came and found it himself.
    Or at least that whoever picked it up got chipotle

  11. Lmao! I would have picked it up and gotten myself a nice latte from Starbucks!!

  12. You've found the sweet spot--a man who will love you through the crazy! You go girl! For the record, I would have taken the $10 and purchased a large margarita.

  13. I found 5€ (twice, in different occasions) and there was nobody there to claim them but me.

  14. I would have snatched that money up so fast.

    But I would have felt like a crazy person while I was doing so.

  15. Gotta love a man who loves you for your crazy. I think I would have done the same thing out of complete paranoia and sound belief in positive karma, but Chipotle would have been tempting. Mmmmm. gauc.


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