Venus Trapped in Mars

10 September 2014

The Greatest Living American

Each time I go over to Chalupa Batman's house to watch football (or golf, or soccer, or basketball, or baseball, or whatever the sport du jour may be -- which was formula one racing one day -- yeahh, no thanks) I hear the phrase G-L-A constantly. The guys sit around and discuss who they think is the greatest living American, or what they call, the "G-L-A". 

So yesterday I asked Chalupa Batman what exactly are the qualifications to be considered the GLA, and this is the exact list he provided me with:  
 
Good Looking 
Rich 
Famous 
Dominant in a sport or enterprise 
Dates hottttt girls/guys
(Yes, that is the exact amount of t's he felt was necessary to emphasize the word "hot.")

So who do the guys all agree is the current reigning GLA?
Best GIF ever...
None other than who I like to call Sissy Boy Brady who has been the butt (pun intended, even though there is no pun I'm just calling him a butt) of many of my jokes over the years...
My hatred for Brady has been a long standing tradition, one that will not soon crumble. To think that this man could be the Greatest Living American is totally absurd.  He wears cable knit sweaters to press conferences and strikes out on high fives from his own teammates. 
So who are my nominations for GLA, you ask? 

 Bet you never saw that coming......
Good Looking yup
Rich yup
Famous yup
Dominant in a sport or enterprise yup
Dates hottttt girls/guys errr, Blake is, well, ummm... Blake is cute in a giant country boy kind of way!
 Good Looking yup (assuming you're a girl)
Rich yup
Famous yup
Dominant in a sport or enterprise yup, shoes.
Dates hottttt girls/guys How about an adorbbbbbbs guy? Does he qualify?

  Good Looking yup
Rich yup
Famous yup
Dominant in a sport or enterprise yup, being awesome on gossip girl
Dates hottttt girls/guys Oh my dear god yes...

   Good Looking yup
Rich yup
Famous yup
Dominant in a sport or enterprise yup
Dates hottttt girls/guys surfboart
   Good Looking holy hell
Rich yup
Famous yup
Dominant in a sport or enterprise yup
Dates hottttt girls/guys yup
These answers are irrelevant at this point. You don't not include JT in the discussion here.
 
Because, this is my list. 
Ok your turn. Who is your pick for Greatest Living American? 
(Don't say Tom Brady)
 
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40 comments :

  1. I'd say Gee even comes before Tom Brady on the list. Hell, I come before Tom Brady. I think your list is pretty legit, though.

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  2. The best part is that Ryan Gosling is actually Canadian! So my vote is for him!

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  3. I vote for Gee. But a close runner up would be JT, fa sho. The things guys talk about just crack me up.

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  4. You are going to hate me but I wouldn't include SJP or JT. His last album blew. (SORRY EVERYONE) but then again Bey beats everyone and is at the tippy top for my list.

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  5. Can we please be besties? Weird? Ok, I'll calm it down. SO agree with your list (Gee is my vote although JT is a very close second).

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  6. I'm 100% with you on Ryan Gosling and JT. I'd even add in Jimmy Fallon cuz he's hot in a fun way.

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  7. Blake Lively is so hott that it physically hurts my eyes to look at her. And the same goes for Ryan Gosling. Thank GOD those two never got together. The entire world would implode.

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  8. Totally agree with Blake Lively, Ryan Gosling and JT. I need to add Zac Efron to mine because he's just too beautiful, in my opinion.

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  9. LOVE THIS LIST!!!!!! You nail it every time!!

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  10. hahaha I just love that you despise Tom Brady as much as I do!

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  11. Give Formula 1 a chance...seriously!!! I didn't like any type of racing (still hate all of them but F1) but I gave it a shot back when I was dating a dude in 2008-2009 and now it's one of my fav sports. So much talent and nail biting moments. Try it out...and I suggest you follow Jensen Button....sooooo hot...want to touch the hiney....aaaaayyyoouuuuu!!!

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  12. I love them all but Bey just rocks at life in general.

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  13. Even though he's a total d-bag, I...kinda love Tom Brady a little. Just a little! And only because he plays like Joe Montana. Otherwise, I would hate him completely and utterly.

    I like your picks. Would be curious to know who else made Chalupa Batman's list.

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  14. That gif OH MY GOD. I totally agree with Miranda and Blake Lively. And JT. My man.
    I'd like to add Mila Kunis. Yes.

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  15. First off... Tom is my homeboy I will not say he is GLA but is is GOAT... and has rings to prove it. However I will vote for Ryan!

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  16. Is it weird that I feel like nominating my husband?? I mean, come on - we are rich with awesomeness. But in all seriousness, I do think TB should at least make your honorable mentions... Also, if David Beckham were American - I'd vote for him. Since he isn't - JT for the win.

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  17. Yes, yes and yes to all of your nominations (esp. Blake and JT!) I have watched the high five fail GIF like 10 times and can't stop laughing lol.

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  18. Peyton Manning. Not so sure about dating hot girls - I'm sure his wife is just fine - but he has the rest of the qualifications.

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  19. I fully back your list. My secret (not so secret anymore I guess) lady crush is on Blake Lively and, for whatever reason, I always feel ashamed to admit it. Anyway, I think she is awesome.

    And anybody who thinks Miranda (we are on a first name basis because she is my bff) isn't a GLA, needs to jump off a cliff. Seriously. Also awesome.

    My vote to add to your list is Jason Witten because he is also a very compassionate man who is charitable and came from a rough background. :) HOTTT!

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  20. I have to add Jennifer Lawrence. Otherwise, this list is great.

    Surfboardt.

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  21. Tom Hardy, Chris Hemsworth, Ian Somerhalder, Eva Mendes, and Bey of course.

    -CTAM

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  22. Can I say Gisele B√ľndchen instead?! That is the only reason Tom Brady would ever make any sort of list with me, because he managed to marry the most magnificent creature on the entire planet (can you tell I kind of love her?!). Same goes for Blake Lively, except she obviously has the most magnificent male creature on the planet.
    Since Gisele is Brazilian, and David Beckham is English, I don't think I have a GLA? But I'm German, so I think that's okay ;)

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