Venus Trapped in Mars

28 September 2010

Biggest "Players" In Sports: Top 5

Let's pick up where we left off in part one

5. Barry Zito

Left handed pitcher for the San Francisco Giants. 32 years old. Created the charity Strikeouts For Troops which provides money to hospitals for wounded soldiers (awwww!)

To be honest though, this kid is a bit weird.

He collects stuffed animals. He always carries pink satin pillows on the road with him. He is also very into yoga. He meditates before every game and sometimes does yoga poses in the outfield. He has also been quoted as saying he picked the number 75 because it acted like a shelf to carry the name "Zito" on his uniform...

Like I said, weird!

And here are the women that are just so turned on by snuggling up with Barry on a lovely pink satin pillow...

Hilary Duff- She has been quoted saying her favorite dish is Baked Zito...

Paris Hilton- Appearance #2 on our countdown. I do believe she has the same amount of mug shots as boyfriends. Correlation? You be the judge.

Alyssa Milano- she knows a little something about Barry's downward facing dog... baaazing!

4. Mark Philippoussis

is a professional Australian tennis player. His father is Greek. As for my personal opinion his father must have been flippin Zeus because only a God like that could create this beautiful specimen of a man!

Too many ladies would agree...
Shannon Elizabeth- FUN FACT! She actually considered a tennis career before she decided to be a model/actress. But in all honesty, I feel like every tennis player could be a model/actress. I knew I should have shown more interest in that sport when I was a kid!Paris Hilton: Mug Shot #3 to go with Boyfriend #3!Tara Reid- Please God someone get this child a burger...

3. Tom Brady

Brady is the quarterback for the New England Patriots. He has 3, yes count em, 3, Super Bowl victories. He was named MVP in two of those three. Brady is just so darn good that he was even drafted by the Montreal Expos to play catcher!

So you are telling me if Mr. Venus uses Stetson cologne, he will look like Tom Brady? Well, I know what Mr. Venus is getting for Christmas!!!!

Father of the year award winner: When his previous girlfriend (mentioned in a minute) got preggers, Brady was by her side from the minute he found out until the minute that kid popped out. He even skipped several NFL starts to be by her side.

No I'm totally kidding, when he found out she was knocked up Brady packed up. There are still skid marks in their old driveway to this day.

And here are the lovely ladies who lived with skid-marks guy

Tara Reid- hah! This picture is hilarious. Tom reportedly broke it off because he couldn't afford to feed Tara's massive eating habits any longer. Bridget Moynahan- First Mr. Big then Tom. When is this girl ever gonna catch a break
Gisele Bundchen- Girls like her should be illegal, she ruins it for everyone else. What guy could resist that?

2. Derek Jeter

Shortstop for the New York Yankees. He lives in Manhattan's Trump World Tower (commence the mad rush to New York to catch a glimpse of the hot ball player).

He maintains a bro-mance with catcher Jorge Posada. Jeter was his best man at Posada's wedding. Cute boys, cute.

Is it just me or does he look like the Situation?

There are just wayyyy too many girls to name, so here is a modest sampling.

Mariah Carey

Laura DuttaAdriana Lima- she gets lumped into the same category of "unfair" as Gisele.
Jessica Alba- said she broke it off with Jeter because he couldn't give her the CASH she WARRENted... HAHAHA ur welcome!

And now... drumroll please.....

Your number one PLAYER in sports is...

Duh Tiger Woods! Ehhh what's up doc?

Tiger never met a bunny ranch he didn't like...

Which he why he has won the coveted NUMBER ONE spot on our countdown!

Happy Playing the Player Venus Lovers!

Images courtesy of from top to bottom:

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