Venus Trapped in Mars

17 November 2016

You Can't Bring a Banana On A Boat

Was anyone else aware that you can't bring a banana on a boat? If you follow me on snap or instagram, you'll know that I was in Crystal River, Florida this past week for a work photoshoot. For those who don't know, I do marketing and advertising for Tohatsu, an outboard motor company. We usually do a photoshoot every other year, generally in Florida. 

Before the shoot, we always go to walmart and load up on tons of snacks. This year we threw some fruit in the basket, you know, for appearance sake. We got bananas, apples and oranges. We packed it all up in a cooler alongside waters and gatorades. Day one, we actually FORGOT to bring the cooler with is, but we were much more prepared for day two. As we started to see the very first peek of sun over the horizon, bright and early, we rolled the cooler on the boat ready for a successful shoot day. 

As we left the dock, headed for our shooting destination for that morning, thick clouds rolled in but the sun continued to burst through. 








As we put more distance between ourselves and the dock we launched from, we start to see less and less sun with far more clouds.


When we finally get to our setup fishing shot, the sun is totally gone and we are left with a dull sky.






There is obviously enough light to continue shooting, but it is certainly less than ideal. 

About an hour into the shoot, I mosey on over to the cooler and dig around for a tasty treat. I see the bananas and I pull one off. As I start to peel back the first layer, every single member (5 people total) of the photo crew dives at me trying to grab the banana out of my hands before I can peel any deeper. 


As I look at the grown men who have just belly flopped on the floorboard of the boat, all failing to grab the banana from my hands, I yell... "What on earth is wrong?" 

(I embellished a bit on that part of the story -- it was only 4 grown men, not 5

They look up, all simultaneously yelling at me -- 
"YOU CAN'T BRING A BANANA ON A BOAT!!!" 

I'm sorry, what? Why? Why not? The last time I saw anger like that I had pretended to throw the tennis ball and Veenie went for it. She then trotted back TOTALLY PISSED upon seeing the ball was still in my hand. This is the face they made over seeing the banana, totally pissed.

They proceeded to google "Banana on a Boat" to show me why you can't bring a banana on a boat. Because, you know, you can't put anything on the internet that isn't true. According to google, whistling and suitcases are also banned from boats. 

"Another superstition that originated during that time is that bananas will cause a boat to sink. This belief developed after many boats never made it to their destinations, and all of the doomed boats were carrying bananas."

Have no fear though, guys, there is a repentance prayer. 
A PRAYER TO BE DELIVERED TO EFFING BANANAS ON A BOAT. 

Oh great Konpira
please, hear my plea
I am sorry for my mistake
A banana I brought to sea

it was an honest gesture
a noble means of nutrition
I had no ill intent
I brought fruit of my own volition

Please forgive my idiocy
I meant my friends no harm
We just want to go fishing
and go home with a sore arm

We beg of you to release the curse
upon which I have brought
In your honor I consume these bananas
a sacrifice all for nought

It was supposed to be nothing but sunshine all week long, but this particular day turned to solid clouds -- all day long. Everyone blamed me for bringing the bananas on the boat. Because, you know, everyone knows not to bring a banana on a boat. *FACE PALM* 

Or suitcases.
Or whistling. 

And guys think girls are weird. PSHT. 


Here are some photos from the rest of the week, sans boat bananas. 
Again, *FACE PALM* 







The Banana Strikes Again... 



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