Venus Trapped in Mars

02 June 2016

Ten Years

Hey Dad!!!



Today is TEN years since I saw you last. TEN. Wow. I wish I could say it just felt like yesterday since you were here, but it doesn't. It feels like a solid TEN years. We talked last year on this exact day, so I thought we'd talk again today. 

Well, as if I don't talk to you every day! I'm really banking on the fact that I don't need to actually speak OUT LOUD when I talk to you. I can talk to you internally, right? You can hear that? Let's hope so, I'd hate to repeat everything from the last ten years. LOLZ! 

First things first, how bout them VOLS?!!??!?!?!!? 

Man oh man am I excited for this year.  Is this our year? I'm going to make a bold statement here, but it sure feels like a 1998 type of season to me. CB made a bet with a buddy of his that the Vols will win the SEC. Aren't you proud that I've converted a fan of the OTHER UT to our side? Not bad, right? He's drinking the right color orange Kool-Aid now! 

Did you see we play Texas A&M this year IN College Station? I know you used to play basketball there -- even though you bleed Vol orange now. I wouldn't miss that game for the world, I'm excited to see your old stomping grounds for the very first time. 

Let's see, let's see... what happened this year? 

CB and I bought a HOUSE! Well, CB bought a house, he is now my landlord. I assume one day (and I do mean ONE DAY, could be another 10 years!) he will transition away from being my landlord, if ya know what I mean. I wish you were around for him to ask permission...whenever it is that permission needs to be asked. I'm being vague, but are you smelling what I'm stepping in? Would you give him the green light?? Inquiring minds would like to know. 

I'd been planning for over a month to play golf in your honor after work today, but this crazy weather had other plans for me. It's been raining non stop for weeks! Maybe I can go this weekend instead. I'll make it happen as long as you promise to watch? Deal?

The last time I wrote, I told you CB beats me in EVERYTHING. It gets frustrating. You know I'm a very sore loser. Did you see my round of golf with the boys the other day though? OH MY GOD! I won! I beat both dudes, and not by a small margin. My short game was actually somewhat decent. 

Ahhh, sorry.... I talk about CB a lot don't I? I'm guessing you've picked up on that though. He is my everything, I just feel like I hit the jackpot there. I suppose I could tone it down a bit, but where's the fun in that?! 

What else happened this year? Well, I entered that Female Fan Cowboys contest and won! Did you see the video? The Cowboys haven't given me permission to release it yet, I have no idea why. I assume there are no passwords in heaven though, so I hope you saw it. How funny did Veenie look in that cowboys getup? That thing was WAY too small. *Insert crying/laughing emoji here* 

Speaking of Veenie. Yikes. A toothpick!! A $6,000 toothpick. I'm petrified of toothpicks now. We were at an event over the weekend and there were 5 girls in line in front of us... ALL CHEWING ON TOOTHPICKS. I nearly had a nervous breakdown. I shot awake the other night because I had a nightmare that I had somehow brought a sea of toothpicks into the house. So ridiculous, I know. 

I do have a favor to ask you. One thing I wish you could help me with is to not be so bitter about the whole thing. I get bitter about Father's Day, almost turning it into one big joke. That's not fair, but that's how I react sometimes. It's terrible, help me with that will ya? I don't like feeling like that, it's really not who I am. 

Oh, and one more favor. I know, I know, I'm full of requests. Can you slip a $20 to the big man (or to whomever it is that's in charge of NCAA Football) for me? You know, just shake his or her hand, wink, whisper GBO, give a final pat on the back and walk away. 

That's all I need. I'd really appreciate that. Ok Dad, I love you. 
Talk again soon. 

Sarah 

P.S. You know I love Mom. She is my best friend. But...... we all know I got YOUR curly hair. Can you confirm that I also got your dark, long-lasting, never turned grey hair color?! I think the strands of grey popping up all over my scalp are a bit confused and missed the memo that was issued. Holler if you need any help drafting a new memo in Microsoft Word, I know computers aren't your thing. 


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14 comments :

  1. awe, this is so beautiful! i love your blog! it's fun, personal and full of great posts!! also, my two little cousins play for the vols! yay! ethan and eli wolf :) so i am a buckeye also cheering for you all these days!!! hope they win the sec, too! have a great day and thinking of you today!

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  2. I love this girl. I lost my dad earlier this year in March and I've been kind of dreading Father's Day this year. And I think the year mark from him passing will be pretty hard too. So glad that you have daily conversations with your dad!

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  3. Thinking of you. I lost my mom 11 years ago this fall and I love talking to her. This is beautiful.

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  4. I read this with tears in my eyes. So so sweet for you to share that. (((Hugs)))

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  5. I lost my dad 10 years ago this March... this post gave me ALL the feels. We'll get through it. <3

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  6. I always like that pic of you and your dad. I live in Daytona so his sweatshirt always stands out and OMG, you had a ton of hair back then.

    I think although the idea behind Mother's/Father's day is nice, it ends up just making people feel worse if the person they love is no longer here or if they have someone who isn't really "worthy" of honoring. Maybe find a way to make a new tradition this year, like celebrate all the things your dad loved or that you enjoyed doing with him. Then it might help you focus on the happy times you had rather than the fact that he isn't here. It won't necessarily erase the pain but it might bring you a few smiles throughout the day too.

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  7. This is awesome... it made me well up. I lost my mom 8 years ago... it feels like only yesterday and about 20 all rolled into one. Then I lost my brother-in-law last year... birthdays are tough... but I am with in.. Mother's Day is the hardest... As I know Father's day is an uncomforting event for you.

    I'm thinking of you... sending you HUGE hugs.... but I gotta break it to you sister.. I've already asked my brother-in-law to slip someone important upstairs some bucks for Alabama this year... and let's be honest... there's the big guy he can discuss this with and there's Paul Bear Bryant ;) hehe

    All in good fun - I am literally super excited to see where the Vols go this year and every year... I like rooting for under dogs... until they bite me in the booty.. *coughOLEMISScough* My future SIL is a VOLS fan... I'd much rather stare at VOLS ORANGE than UT and/oR AUBURN orange! So bring it!

    oxox

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    1. True story... I wrote my BIL a letter last year, to lay in his casket with other gifts we wished to bury him with for comfort... in my letter I told him it was up to him now to get in Saban's ear during the games. Needless to say, every win made me cheer, and cry this year... He was the biggest fan I ever met of AL... it's sad he's not here to see it, even sadder he's not with us to celebrate... I feel you on all of this, on so many levels.

      PSS - try to search in your heart and mind when CB does pop that important question, I bet you will get a sign of serious approval from your pops! ox

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  8. This letter made me cry. And then when I went back and read last year's I was crying harder. Sending you a great big hug because you are one of the strongest people I know! XOX

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  9. This was such a sweet letter it nearly brought me to tears. My biggest fear is to lose a parent. I don't know how you deal with it. Stay strong xx

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  10. touching post. Hugs. Also, I know it's not the same but my dad left when I was really young and we are not in communication any more. I too am very bitter on father's day. It doesn't help that it often falls on my birthday (or very shortly before or after..when I'm trying to celebrate) so yeah the bitterness is always looming. You're not alone there. We can all keep each other in our minds that day and know we're not alone!

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  11. I just lost my step-dad unexpectedly 2 months ago, and I lost my grandfather (who was my father figure until my step-dad came along) 2 years ago. I am so dreading Father's Day. I have a feeling that I will still dread it 10 years from now, like you do. I love your tradition of playing golf to honor your dad. I'm going to have to come up with something like that when his anniversary rolls around.

    Thank you for writing such a sweet article about your Dad. And for making me cry :)

    PS I live in San Francisco, so I love the pic. I'm going to have a picnic with the hubs today at a park with a beautiful view of the bridge. I'll give your dad a good cheers with a glass of wine when we get there!

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  12. I just lost my step-dad unexpectedly 2 months ago, and I lost my grandfather (who was my father figure until my step-dad came along) 2 years ago. I am so dreading Father's Day. I have a feeling that I will still dread it 10 years from now, like you do. I love your tradition of playing golf to honor your dad. I'm going to have to come up with something like that when his anniversary rolls around.

    Thank you for writing such a sweet article about your Dad. And for making me cry :)

    PS I live in San Francisco, so I love the pic. I'm going to have a picnic with the hubs today at a park with a beautiful view of the bridge. I'll give your dad a good cheers with a glass of wine when we get there!

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  13. I love this so much Sarah. You are one of the bravest and strongest people I know. Love you.

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