You Can't Bring a Banana On A Boat

Was anyone else aware that you can't bring a banana on a boat? If you follow me on snap or instagram, you'll know that I was in Crystal River, Florida this past week for a work photoshoot. For those who don't know, I do marketing and advertising for Tohatsu, an outboard motor company. We usually do a photoshoot every other year, generally in Florida. 

Before the shoot, we always go to walmart and load up on tons of snacks. This year we threw some fruit in the basket, you know, for appearance sake. We got bananas, apples and oranges. We packed it all up in a cooler alongside waters and gatorades. Day one, we actually FORGOT to bring the cooler with is, but we were much more prepared for day two. As we started to see the very first peek of sun over the horizon, bright and early, we rolled the cooler on the boat ready for a successful shoot day. 

As we left the dock, headed for our shooting destination for that morning, thick clouds rolled in but the sun continued to burst through. 

As we put more distance between ourselves and the dock we launched from, we start to see less and less sun with far more clouds.

When we finally get to our setup fishing shot, the sun is totally gone and we are left with a dull sky.

There is obviously enough light to continue shooting, but it is certainly less than ideal. 

About an hour into the shoot, I mosey on over to the cooler and dig around for a tasty treat. I see the bananas and I pull one off. As I start to peel back the first layer, every single member (5 people total) of the photo crew dives at me trying to grab the banana out of my hands before I can peel any deeper. 

As I look at the grown men who have just belly flopped on the floorboard of the boat, all failing to grab the banana from my hands, I yell... "What on earth is wrong?" 

(I embellished a bit on that part of the story -- it was only 4 grown men, not 5) 

They look up, all simultaneously yelling at me -- 

"YOU CAN'T BRING A BANANA ON A BOAT!!!" 

I'm sorry, what? Why? Why not? The last time I saw anger like that I had pretended to throw the tennis ball and Veenie went for it. She then trotted back TOTALLY PISSED upon seeing the ball was still in my hand. This is the face they made over seeing the banana, totally pissed.

They proceeded to google "Banana on a Boat" to show me why you can't bring a banana on a boat. Because, you know, you can't put anything on the internet that isn't true. According to google, whistling and suitcases are also banned from boats. 

"Another superstition that originated during that time is that bananas will cause a boat to sink. This belief developed after many boats never made it to their destinations, and all of the doomed boats were carrying bananas."

Have no fear though, guys, there is a repentance prayer. 

A PRAYER TO BE DELIVERED TO EFFING BANANAS ON A BOAT. 

Oh great Konpira

please, hear my plea

I am sorry for my mistake

A banana I brought to sea

it was an honest gesture

a noble means of nutrition

I had no ill intent

I brought fruit of my own volition

Please forgive my idiocy

I meant my friends no harm

We just want to go fishing

and go home with a sore arm

We beg of you to release the curse

upon which I have brought

In your honor I consume these bananas

a sacrifice all for nought

It was supposed to be nothing but sunshine all week long, but this particular day turned to solid clouds -- all day long. Everyone blamed me for bringing the bananas on the boat. Because, you know, everyone knows not to bring a banana on a boat. *FACE PALM* 

Or suitcases.

Or whistling. 

And guys think girls are weird. PSHT. 

Here are some photos from the rest of the week, sans boat bananas. 
Again, *FACE PALM* 

The Banana Strikes Again... 

Flight Anxiety

I've been flying my whole life. I was a very lucky kid, my parents took me everywhere with them. My dad was a car salesman and a darn good one who won all sorts of trips for hitting sales goals. I always tagged along. My mom's Law Firm had offices all over the world, and I tagged along on those trips as well. To sum things up I've been flying and wearing those "wing pins" with honor for as long as I can remember. 

Well, I've very recently developed this terrible flying anxiety. It has come absolutely out of nowhere, and I've been racking my brain trying to figure out what has caused it. 

At first, I thought the culprit might be that Frontier flight many months ago. The pilot comes on the overhead speaker and says, "Something is wrong, we aren't sure what that is yet, working to get that fixed so hang tight." 

Then, about an hour later, the pilot comes on and says, "OH! I think I fixed it. Flight attendants prepare for takeoff."

It was easily the smoothest flight I've ever been on, but I was on the verge of pooping my pants the entire time. YOU THINK YOU FIXED IT???????? I was terrified, shaking and it was the longest hour and a half of my life. 

For the past several months, I've been attributing my flight anxiety to that very moment on Frontier, but it was on an American flight bound for Tampa two weekends ago that it occurred to me that something else might be causing my anxiety. 

For the first time in my life I have everything to lose. I'm just so absurdly happy, because I get to share my wonderful life with my little family in Dallas, Texas. Over the past few years though, I've grown terrified of putting myself in a situation potentially bound to lose it. 

I ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS think of the movie Sex and the City when Charlotte freaks out about being pregnant, because she is terrified that she has been given everything in life that she ever asked for. 

That is really dumb, huh? Anxiety over being too happy? I'm glad I wrote this. I'm glad that I now hear how ridiculous I sound. I've never had anxiety before, but now I have it all the time. I have it over flying. I have it over Veenie. I have it over Gee. I have it over watching a drunk girl I have never met climbing up on stage, ruining the band's set with her drunkness. True story, I panicked over someone else being dumb. 

I get anxiety all the damn time, and I don't know how to stop it. 

I'm always poking and prodding at Gee's mouth, to see if he is hurting and needs to go to the vet. I poke at Veenie's belly pretty much daily ever since the Toothpick-Mageddon to see if she is hurting and needs to go to the vet. I wake up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night CONVINCED that Veenie has thrown up in the bed, when she hasn't. I sat awake last night -- ANXIOUS -- and I couldn't even tell you what was causing the anxiety. 

I'm scared of losing everything I love. I don't want to go back to 2014 Sarah who was so sad and lonely in Dallas. 

Does anyone else get anxiety like this? How do you get over it? How do you talk yourself out of feeling this way?