On Losing My Mind

You guys. Send help. I'm losing my mind. 

I wish I could say I was exaggerating, but I spend my days and nights monitoring Veenie. I watch her go poop, I watch her eat, I watch her drink water, I watch the way she runs or doesn't run, I poke and prod at her countless times each night to see if there's any pain. If she vomits (like from eating, say, cat poop) I freak out and play back everything that I've seen over the last 24 hours trying to decide if we should go to the vet. 

Yesterday I picked her up and she winced at me in pain. I poked at that same place again, and I then realized that it was 10am and she hadn't been outside yet. She probably had a full bladder and how would I feel if someone poked at my bladder when I needed to pee. She peed, I brought her back in and poked again and didn't notice any pain.

THIS IS MY LIFE. I POKE AT MY DOG 24 HOURS A DAY, 7 DAYS A WEEK. 

8am: Poke Veenie

9am: Poke Veenie

10am: Poke Veenie

10:15am: Poke Veenie

11am: Poke Veenie

etc....

I cannot physically stop myself from worrying about her. It's honestly driving me bat shit crazy. I ask CB 47 times a day if he thinks Veenie seems normal. Keep in mind, I generally ask this question as she is catapulting herself from couch to couch, running around like a normal, healthy dog Jack Russell at 110mph. 

His answer is to call the vet and get some peace of mind. But what am I going to tell the vet?? 

Me: Yeah, I was hoping to bring Veenie in.

Vet: What's up, she ok? 

Me: Well she is 100% normal but I kept poking at her and eventually she winced at me after poking her 386 times. 

Vet: Sure, bring her in. Let's take a look at her. 

(translation: we will gladly accept your cash money and give her more meds that she probably doesn't need) 

I'm losing my shit, y'all. 

Send help. 

On another note, I attended a 6 year old's birthday pool party yesterday and I stressed the entire time that the kids were all going to knock their head on the diving board or side of the pool. I didn't poke any of them though, so at least that's progress.

BRB... my reminder is going off, I gotta run home and poke at Veenie.